Fark NotNewsletter: Monkeys in mourning and the Great PENN15 Controversy

This is a multi-part message in MIME format... ------------=_1617909074-67411-55277 Content-Type: text/html Content-Disposition: inline Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable [3D"The](3D")= > [3D"Facebook"](3D") [=3D"Twitter"](3D") [3D"Totalfark"](3D") Having trouble reading thi= s email? View it online [here](3D". Comments thread: [ 12993](3D" Unsubscribe links are at the bottom of this message. =20 =20 ________________________ A message = from Drew Curtis: ____________________= ____ Hey everyone, hope your week's been going well. Ne= ws Cycle Meta Report: For the last week the cycle seems to be focusing inte= ntly on one or two stories at a time. Today it's [monkeys on the loose in Cincinna= ti](3D"). The [PE= NN15 controversy in New York City](3D"=) was yesterday. And we've had mu= ltiple sightings of [= Guy Who Mailed Himself Home In A Crate](3D"https://=) in the 1960s looking to find his= friends who helped him out with the idea. Based on how it turned out= , maybe he wants to punch them in the face or something. Thanks to e= veryone who dropped by to [our conversation on TotalFark last week](3D"ht=), you had some great ideas an= d suggestions. We'll be doing another one soon, so stay tuned. ________________________ We now return you to your usual Fark N= otNewsletter. ________________________ Top Comments Some of the top-vot= ed smartest and funniest comments from the past week Funny:= Remnants of Santa explained [why trucks that are too tall to fit under a bridge often slow = down, but drive under it anyway](3D") Lance Robdon knew&= nbsp;[how to finish dislodging the Ever Giv= en from where it was stuck in the Suez Canal](3D") offacue = g> showed [what happens if you try to = join the Mile High Club while skydiving](3D"=) kbronsito = explained [why high school girls weari= ng hoodies were targeted for dress code violations](3D"=) Nana's Vi= brator summed up [Europe's r= ailway map](=3D" eyebones predicted [the first change we'll see now that most Americans don't = belong to a religious congregation](3D") Rann Xerox reve= aled [the defense strategy Derek Chauv= in's lawyers have planned](3D"=) Pocket Ninja gave tips on surviving a mass shooting Pointy Tail of Satan had [a complaint about Catholic churches](3D" TheReject = looked at [how much abuse a pastor was= able to get away with](3D"=) Bonus FarkStaff Pick: FrancoFile came up with [a = slogan for a tax preparer who pulled a gun on her clients](3D" Sm= art: Xai showed [yet another nice thing many other countries manage to have that Americ= ans can't](3D" Spectrum explained that [Derek Chauvin is probably not writing his own version= of "If I Did It"](3D") Exluddite argued that [Mike Rowe lacks credibility](3D") Kliv= ian gave reasons [why you sh= ould not laminate your COVID-19 vaccination card](=3D" sc= ottydoesntknow knew there were [other options available to a pastor who would not allow women to win a = raffle for a bow fishing trip](3D" bcostlow shared a th= eory on [why some of the big tech comp= anies are eager to get employees back in the office](3D"=) Nuuu = trong> thought that [Chauvin's lawyer = was telling the truth about officers' attention being diverted by the crowd=](3D"htt=) iheartscotch shared a story about [a priest choosing just the worst time to be a dick= a> Corvus examined](3D")[tech companies' reasoning for needing people to work in the office inste= ad of from home](3D" tjsands1118 pointed out that = [the Satan Shoes did their job](3D") TotalFark Discussion: Note: This section can only be accessed by= [TotalFarkers](3D") Smart: The Pope of = Manwich Village [interpreted a co= mic from The New Yorker](3D"ht=) Smart: merrillvillain = ong> [would do whatever it takes to get a n= ut off](3D") Funny: vegas_greaser defended a Fa= rker's girlfriend who committed the crime of [ordering "chicken parmesian" at "an authentic Italian restaurant wi= th a Michelin star"](3D" Smart: Dance Party wa= s [threatened by a ferocious animal](3D")= > Smart: KangTheMad [showed off some meat](3D" Smart: Dance Party = trong> shared [more scary animal photo= s](3D"https://w=) Politics Funny: Porkbelly consid= ered [Matt Gaetz's side of the story i= n the investigation into his possible relationship with an underage girl](3D"=)= > bthom37 suggested [a new nickname for Matt Gaetz](3D" ElvisThroop thou= ght that maybe [a field trip would be = good for Major Biden](3D"https://=) Demetrius remarked on [Kristi Noem's generosity](3D") King= Something explained [Donald= Trump's need for attention](3D" Politics Smart: = Badmoodman didn't think that [it's all bad news for Matt Gaetz](3D" Ambivalence won= dered about [the legality of Rep. Jeff= Duncan's intended action against Major League Baseball](3D"=) lolmao500 wasn't having [th= e comparison of Joe Biden to a former president](3D" hubiestubert= looked at the argument that [Republicans will choose a fascist leader in the future and it will be Dem= ocrats' fault](3D" Notabunny figured that [Biden has bigger plans for one of his Cabinet memb= ers](3D") Top Contest Entries Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, lis= ted from highest number of votes down Photoshops: RedZoneTuba figured [Trump= might as well just make his relationship with Facebook official](3D" Mojongo created [a plat= form for deplorable videos](3D" X-Geek [gave Trump's platform a logo that gets right to the point Yammering_Splat_Vector made](3D")[a new episode of the original Star Trek series](3D") bugdozer discovered [dra= ma in the world of magazine holders](3D" verchad found&= nbsp;[the only way to improve chocolate](3D")= opalakea looked at [how things could've been if Hillary Clinton had been president](3D" RedZoneTuba went [fro= m peanuts to q-nuts](3D" I_Am_Weasel [gave Trump the bird](3D") Yammering_Splat_Vector = showed us [why we shouldn't = taunt kangaroos](3D"htt=) Fartist Friday: [= Create a rainbow](3D") Uchiha_Cycliste decided not to&nb= sp;[take one down, pass it around](3D") This week's Fartist Friday theme, brought to you by E-brake: Show & Tell Volume 7: Show us a work of art you= 've made and Tell us the story behind it, your inspiration, how you made it= . A photo you've shot, a painting you've painted, jewelry you've bejeweled,= etc. Difficulty: Art you haven't entered in our F'artiste contests before.= Farktography: [W, X, Y, &am= p; Z](=3D") CiliarySpasm [gave us a 15-second peek at the zipper](3D" Beyond Fark We're sad to have lost Farke= r DonWrite to cancer. He was well known and loved fr= om Fark Parties, TotalFark threads, Photoshop contests, and more. He was fr= iendly, funny, and an all-around good guy. We offer our condolences to= his family and friends. You can read Do= nWrite's memorial thread here. Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy) Another fun time on the Quiz, and I just = found out the local frozen yogurt joint will have sugar-free caramel macchi= ato next week, so I'm happy. Due to a screw-up on my part, a few people wou= nd up with more questions than others this week, so I'm listing the top 10:= Denjiro 1241 balko 1059 firegig 1054 groppet 1037 Stat= e_College_Arsonist 1017 KarmicDisaster 1015 edmo 1001 Redh8t 996 SumoJ= eb 989 Staffist 968 The hardest questio= n on this week's Hard Quiz was about the dangers of corralling escape barny= ard animals. Only 28% of quiztakers caught the story about the Harrisonburg= , VA police office who was accidentally shot while helping to corral an esc= aped cow on the loose. I often wonder why cows bother escaping. What do the= y plan to do? Chase cars? Go swimming in a different pond? Meet new cows? G= o to a gun store? The easiest question on the Hard Quiz was about Ch= ina's Hong Guang Mini. 78% of quiztakers knew that the overgrown golf = cart was far outselling the Tesla Model 3, making it the world's best selli= ng electric vehicle. I mean, for a mere $4500 with a 106-mile range, it's a= great grocery-getter, or even an excellent date car if you're dating a nic= e environmentally-conscious SO. Good luck with the back seat, though. The hardest question on the Easy Quiz was about which streaming service y= ou can watch Christopher Nolan's "Tenet" on. Only half of users knew that t= he movie would be airing on HBO Max, which Tenet himself once described as = "the worst streaming service". If it makes him feel better, it's probably g= oing to be a better experience than the guy who managed to [comp= ress it onto five GameBoy Advance cartridges](3D"). The easiest questi= on on the Easy Quiz was about which American will be starring as himself in= an upcoming comedy spy series in Germany. 93% of quiztakers correctly surm= ised that it was David Hasselhoff who will be playing himself stuck in an e= spionage/murder mystery situation full of that German humor we all know and= love. No word on planned musical numbers. If you missed out on the = Quiz last week, you can [catch up on the Fark Weird News Qu= iz here](3D=). Congratulations to the winners, and we'll be doing it all= again this week as soon as I get some more frozen yogurt with the nut crum= bs from the bottom of the walnut topping bin. --------------------------------------------------------------- ([Fark.com](3D"") sent this newsletter emai= l to: {EMAIL}) To stop these emails, go to the Notifications tab of your [MyFark profile](3D"https:=) to change your subscription preferences. Or, [click here to unsubscribe](3D") from newsletter emails, even if your Fark login isn't '{NAME}'. [Click her= e to unsubscribe from ALL Fark emails](3D"). Fark, Inc. PO Box 1713, Versailles KY 40383 = ------------=_1617909074-67411-55277--