Fark NotNewsletter: Care for some cinnamon bourbon shrimp tails?

This is a multi-part message in MIME format... ------------=_1616614737-92091-55325 Content-Type: text/html Content-Disposition: inline Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable [3D"The](3D")= > [3D"Facebook"](3D") [=3D"Twitter"](3D") [3D"Totalfark"](3D") Having trouble reading thi= s email? View it online [here](3D". Comments thread: [ 75099](3D" Unsubscribe links are at the bottom of this message. =20 =20 ________________________ A message = from Drew Curtis: ____________________= ____ Sure is getting weird out there. [Shrimp = tails in Cinnamon Toast Crunch](3D"), super freighters drawing phallic symbol= s then wrecking [in the Suez Canal](3D".=). Speakin= g of which, either the [Fark News Livestream](3D"https=) wil= l be on hiatus until next week when Dallan returns from a work trip, or I'l= l figure out how to do it solo on my end. Might depend on [how much I drink](3D") Friday night. Stay tuned. ____________= ____________ We now return you to your usual Fark NotNewsletter.= ________________________ Top Comments Some of the top-voted smartest a= nd funniest comments from the past week Funny: K= ing Something explained [why= no soap company wants to be associated with](3D" Biscuit Tin= g>'s [idea for the oil-covered pennies= a man's ex-boss paid him with](3D"=) Dead for Tax Reasons = > thought [a man who was arrested for = abusing girls at a boarding school looked familiar](3D"=) ditka80 had [one question when a cach= e of fireworks caused a house to explode](3D"=) Farkenhostile = ong> thought everyone was [wrong abou= t the pile of oily pennies left in a man's driveway](=3D" arrogant= bastich was rather offended= by a slideshow featuring shirts for big boobs Circusdog320 = showed us [why someone who w= as traveling the country to complete her bucket list refused to wear a mask= in a bank](3D"htt=) snowybunting recognized [a sorority that was suspended after being accused of= hazing](3D") HighlanderRPI had a suggestion for [Wells Fargo and Chase Bank customers who wer= e waiting for their stimulus money](3D") vudukungfu had = one thing to say about [a Glock 19 tha= t was painted to look like a Nerf gun](3D"=) WhippingBoi = warned us about [a troubling side effe= ct of the COVID-19 vaccine](3D"https:/=) Bonus FarkStaff Pick: libranoelrose shamelessly revealed [Katy kitty's deadly secret ninja move](3D") (GIF goodness includ= ed) Smart: Alphax shared a story about= [a woman who tried to police an acces= sible parking space for the worst reason](3D") chewd had= a suggestion for [how a particularly= dangerous type of criminal should be penalized](3D"https=) roostercube = can apparently [end up get= ting yelled at for parking anywhere at all](=3D" wademh = gave one of many reasons [why a pare= nt might be at a gas station with their 1-year-old at night](=3D" (the commen= ts being referenced are from the news site) Pocket Ninja = g> began to explain [how a functioning= alcoholic can drink daily amounts that would keep most people from functio= ning at all](3D"htt=) fragMasterFlash brought up [the costs associated with a particular method of payi= ng a worker](3D") vicejay remembered [Farker Mudbuggy a year after his death Dryad recalled an interview with](3D")[a grieving mom's quest to draft legislation to ke= ep other kids from being taken by strangers](3D") Wilder= KWight revealed [the secret= behind Gwyneth Paltrow's lifestyle brand, Goop](=3D" (Note: I have no idea i= f this is accurate) CSB Sunday Morning: [Your most unus= ual pet](3D") Smart: Rene ala Carte had [a great story about a parakeet who loved the= New York Times](3D") Funny: MorningBreath's&nbs= p;[fish is way too smart](3D") CSB [C= ool Story, Bro] Sunday Morning is a thread for Farkers to share true storie= s from their own lives based on a weekly topic. If you have a topic idea fo= r a CSB Sunday Morning thread, please [contact Farkback](3D" ahead of= time, or just [submit it](3D"https://=) on Saturday afternoon/evening. Please no= te: While submitted CSB Sunday Morning threads have a high likelihood of be= ing greenlit, there is no guarantee they will be. TotalFark= Discussion: Note: This section can only be accessed by [T= otalFarkers](3D" Smart: Murflette share= d [how vital the stimulus payments are= and what they mean to many Americans](3D") Funny: fly_ga= l showed off [an impressive = hair styling tool](3D"=) Smart: generalDisdain s= hared news about [achieving a new ra= nk](3D"https:=) Funny: Angry Drunk Bureaucrat gave adv= ice on [talking your spouse into getti= ng a vasectomy](3D"=) Smart: Cafe Threads comple= ted the sentence, ["Best comic strip that's= not The Far Side or Calvin and Hobbes is ______"](3D"=) Funny: wearsmanyhats [made every= one feel welcome](=3D" Politics Funny: HighOnCraic= figured out [why Trump didn= 't receive a summons and complaint sent to him at Mar-a-Lago after "Ri= cky" signed for the package](3D"=) Kat09tails figured out= [who submitted a headline claiming th= at, because the Bidens have dogs, Republicans now hate dogs](3D") = Mr. Coffee Nerves flawlessly [deciphered a secret message from President Trump](3D" Rapmaster= 2000's [parents learned to ac= cept who their child really is](3D"https:/=) Jack Sabbath argued= that [Trump is not shrinking away int= o obscurity](3D".=) Politics Smart: arrogantbastich = explained [why the pandemic = experts failed](3D"htt=) Jack Sabbath pointed out that = [Marjorie Taylor Greene knew what she was t= alking about](3D") stan unusual had [a good plan for how to handle questions about the rights = of transgender people](3D") log_jammin discussed [the plight of white farmers](3D") m= arkie_farkie had [an idea fo= r some new legislation](=3D" T= op Contest Entries Some of the top-voted contest entries = from last week, listed from highest number of votes down Photosh= ops: Yammering_Splat_Vector showed that [the stereotype of sweating like a tart in chur= ch has been greatly exaggerated](3D") Terrapin Bound dis= covered [how much bovine craftsmanship=](3D"=) has improved [since 1982](3D"https=) [= citation needed] kabloink [conclusively proved that Earth is indeed flat](3D")RedZoneTuba put [Leo and Keanu together in a suspenseful scene](3D" Driver = ong> found out [what happens when you = have a typo in your bar supplies order](3D"https://=) I_Am_Weasel = caught [Poseidon playing with his bat= h toys](3D"=) Thrakkorzog realized [a bunny with a pancake on its head isn't enough anymore wh= en you have no idea what someone's talking about](3D") zeon = ng> witnessed [a senseless act of bird= -on-canine violence](3D"https://w=) RedZoneTuba turned this into&n= bsp;[that kind of party](3D") clovercat showed us that [what goes up must come down](3D" Captions: From [Caption this presidential cat](3D") (this is a 199= 4 photo of Socks, the Clintons' cat): RedZoneTuba figu= red that [Socks never left the White H= ouse](3D"=) Keyser_Soze_Death revealed [Socks' confusion when looking at the audience](3D") Fartist Friday: Fartist Friday took the weekend off, but it'l= l be back this week. This week's Fartist Friday theme= , brought to you by E-brake: It's a F'artiste ho= mage to Spring! Flowers in bloom as we say goodbye to winter gloom. Let's h= onor the season by creating some art that shows what Spring means to you - = write a poem, take a photo, draw a drawing, P a PShop, use any medium you c= hoose. Farktography: [Toy story](3D") This one ended in a tie with MorningBreath= strong>'s [rainbow brick road](3D"=) and&= nbsp;SoupGuru's [wee = Chevy](3D" Fark Weird News Qu= iz (brought to you by ox45tallboy) = Another fun time on the Quiz this week, but the 1000 club stays as empty as= my new InstaPot. On the Quiz itself, bud jones came out o= n top with 982, followed by MrCynical in second with = 931 and Hoopy Frood in third with 919. dionysusaur made fourth with 896, and Denjiro= trong> finishes out the top five with 860. The hardest question on t= he Hard Quiz was about which 80s comedy never became a network TV show. 36%= of quiztakers didn't remember Charlie Schlatter taking a chainsaw to a car= dboard cutout of Matthew Broderick in the premier of NBC's "Ferris Bu= eller" back in 1990 - even though it also starred Jennifer Aniston as his s= ister. It was cancelled after 13 episodes. 32% of quiztakers didn't remembe= r "Fast Times" on CBS in 1986, probably because even though it had Claudia = Wells (the original Jennifer in "Back to the Future"), Vincent Schiavelli, = and Moon Unit Zappa, it's safe to say that Dean Cameron (Chainsaw in "Summe= r School") was no Sean Penn as Jeff Spicoli, and no way were the censors le= tting anything good on the show. The network pulled the plug after only 7 e= pisodes. Which leaves only 32 % that correctly guessed that the networ= ks realized a "Major League" series would have no chance without Charlie Sh= een and so never greenlit one. The easiest question on the Har= d Quiz was about the world's first rock-and-roll song, recorded 70 years ag= o in March 1951. 77% of quiztakers knew that Ike Turner (yes, *that* Ike Tu= rner, although it was recorded as "Jackie Brenston and his Delta Cats"= ) had written the song about the new model of Oldsmobile - the "Rocket 88",= which had a 303 (5.0L) V8 producing a whopping 135 horsepower. Quite fitti= ngly for the car the first rock-and-roll song was about, the Olds Rocket 88= widely considered to be the first American muscle car. = The hardest question on the Easy Quiz was about those wacky Pop-Tart engine= ers and what they've been up to since they ceased being drug tested. Only 4= 2% of quiztakers remembered that Oreos are a Nabisco product and Pop-Tarts = are made by Kellogg's, so the correct answer was the Kellogg's cereal Froot= Loops. Which, based on the article, are really every bit as bad as you thi= nk they would be. There *is* a "Cookies & Creme" flavor Pop-Tart that m= any people compare favorably to an Oreo, but it's not officially licensed a= nd doesn't bear the name. Besides, everyone knows Brown Sugar & Cinnamo= n lightly toasted and smeared with cheap tub margarine are the greatest eve= r Pop-Tart experience. The easiest question on the Easy Quiz w= as surprisingly about an upcoming series from HBO based on a graphic novel.= 92% of quiztakers knew that "Slam!" was a story about women in the sport o= f roller derby. The unique thing about the series is that it's going to be = done with both CGI and old-school rotoscope animation, where animation cels= are drawn from footage of real actors acting out the scenes. When it's don= e well, you get 1981's "Heavy Metal". When it's done not-so-well, you get 1= 979's "Lord of the Rings". Let's hope for the former. If you missed = out on the Quiz last week, you can [catch up on it here](3D" . Congratulations to the winners, and we'll do it all again this week. --------------------------------------------------------------- ([Fark.com](3D"") sent this newsletter emai= l to: {EMAIL}) To stop these emails, go to the Notifications tab of your [MyFark profile](3D"https:=) to change your subscription preferences. Or, [click here to unsubscribe](3D") from newsletter emails, even if your Fark login isn't '{NAME}'. [Click her= e to unsubscribe from ALL Fark emails](3D"). Fark, Inc. PO Box 1713, Versailles KY 40383 = ------------=_1616614737-92091-55325--