Fark NotNewsletter: Last chance to get TotalFarked for cheap

This is a multi-part message in MIME format... ------------=_1597866982-85278-56387 Content-Type: text/html Content-Disposition: inline Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable [3D"The](3D")= > [3D"Facebook"](3D") [=3D"Twitter"](3D") [3D"Totalfark"](3D") Having trouble reading thi= s email? View it online [here](3D". Comments thread: [ 3134](3D" Unsubscribe links are at the bottom of this message. =20 =20 ________________________ A message = from Drew Curtis: ____________________= ____ Hey everyone, hope your week was well. A couple it= ems of note - first off, today is the last day to sign up for [Tot= alFark](3D" at the old subscription rates. The price is changing tomor= row for the first time in nearly 20 years to $100 per year. You can s= till grab a year of TotalFark at the current price, as well as load up on Farks2Give which we're treating as forever stamps and will always be= worth one month of TotalFark, to be given to someone else or use yourself.= If you've been waiting for the right time to subscribe, today = is the day - get to it! If you have questions about renewing a curren= t TotalFark subscription, please contact Farkback for help. Al= so, last week on TotalFark we solicited ideas for new rotating Fark catchph= rases that go under the TotalFark logo, and we received nearly 400 submissi= ons. A couple of my favorite ones were "Our Boomers are OK" by NuclearPenguins and "Why not have your psychotic episode with us= ?" by Mikaloyd. We'll be adding most of these to the= rotation soon. [The catchphrase thread is here](3D"h=), b= ut you must be a TotalFarker to see it. This week, tomorrow or Frida= y, we'll be having a discussion on possible Fark tab changes, including a v= ery specific issue that I won't spoil here. Join us and help us solve= it! ________________________ We now return you to your usual= Fark NotNewsletter. ________________________ Top Comments Some of the = top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week Funn= y: Carter Pewterschmidt feared [a lightning strike might've revealed a serious problem= a> Jack Sabbath noticed](3D")[a hero in a scary video](3D" UberDave [interpreted the song "WAP"](3D") I Ate Sherg= ar showed [a still from a video&nb= sp;from one of those tube sites](3D"https://=) Inyego told us&nbs= p;[what happens if you get COVID-19 twice olapbill noticed](3D")[something strange about complaints that Apple News+ is hurting publishers isamudyson described](3D" rewarding experience of nearly being struck by lightning while = delivering a pizza](3D" Farking Clown Shoes explained&n= bsp;[why a man decided to take hidden camera= videos of family and church members showering](3D") kbronsito = trong> named a couple of [movies made= for grown-ups that kids can also enjoy](=3D" Badmoodman = reacted to the idea of [being upset th= at your child ate Indian food at a friend's house](3D=) Smart:= > Ivo Shandor discussed news that [people could be protected for up to three months after rec= overing from COVID-19](3D") Devolving_Spud mentioned&nbs= p;[an additional reason to love Dolly= Parton](3D") optikeye considered [why people are making public scenes over attempts to decrea= se the spread of the virus](3D") Devolving_Spud had = ;[another story about Dolly Parton kicking a= ss](3D") NeedlesslyCanadian explained [why Christopher Eccleston left "Doctor Who"](3D") BeesNuts and Beerguy explained how = ;[a five (at least) stooges style of policin= g resulted in an accidental shooting](3D") FarkingSmurf = ong> knew [where some cows got the idea for = their method of self defense](3D"=) TotalFark Discussion: N= ote: This section can only be accessed by [TotalFarkers](3D" Smart: weddingsinger had [good reason to sing](3D") Funny: we'refr= omthesamestory [paraphrased Ben Sh= apiro](3D"htt=) ([no, really](3D"=))= Smart: Loris made a suggestion [for couples who disagree about music](3D") Fun= ny: Angry Drunk Bureaucrat discussed [hiding pants situations in school](3D") Poli= tics Funny: bloobeary pointed out [what a man who apparently threatened the president di= d wrong](3D") AlHarris31 had a plan since [Joe Biden didn't choose Tammy Duckworth as his runni= ng mate](3D") Mike_LowELL got [really excited when President Trump announced an urgent news co= nference](3D" Uranus Megahertz guessed [what Trump was up to over the weekend](3D") t= horpe warned us that [a ranti= ng mask hater who was carried out by his son is actually tough](3D" Politics Smart: Chariset had [a message for Republican Senators](3D") blast= oh suggested [reporters colla= borate on a strategy for Trump's next press conference](3D"=) marki= e_farkie predicted what Trum= p will do if he loses the election Purple_Urkle ha= d a better idea to ["stick it to the p= eople trying to #DefundthePolice"](3D"http=) Cagey B argued t= hat [FiveThirtyEight did not "fark up" = their forecast for the 2016 presidential election](3D"=) Top Contest Entries Some of the= top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of vo= tes down Photoshops: Yammering_Splat_Vector = rong> [gave a cheery motel a spooky feel](3D")= Herb Utsmelz made [the perfect disaster movie to show in theaters right now](3D" V= ortex Dweller [artistically illus= trated these accommodations](3D"http=) RedZoneTuba wondered&n= bsp;[how many angels like this one could dan= ce on the head of a pin](3D") Fark is [not supposed to be RedZoneTuba's personal erotica site](3D" > Herb Utsmelz [gave th= is sailor a new pipe for his "spinach"](3D" hail2daking = [tried to rent a friend](3D") Gods= crack had to [have this guy f= ill in for the drummer](3D"=) Thrakkorzog found [the men of the corn](3D") Yammering_Sp= lat_Vector showed the team t= hat God is rooting for Captions: From ["What is this raccoon saying into the mic?"](3D"): Madman drummers bummers heard it [hatching an escape plan](3D" Grumpy Cat figured= it was [more interested in proselytizi= ng than prostheses](3D"=) Grumpy Cat knew [what raccoons' interests are](3D") From ["Caption this conversation"](3D"): Gr= umpy Cat [warned us about the earl= y bird](3D"https://w=) Cache overheard [a cardinalspiracy theory](3D" Fartist Friday: [In honor of "Chant At The Moon Day," create an ode to o= ur enigmatic satellite the moon in the form of a haiku](3D") wears= manyhats [made a startling discove= ry while worshiping the moon](3D"https://w=). There are many more great entries, so mak= e sure to check them out. This week's Fartist Friday = theme, brought to you by E-brake: Social Distanc= ing Inventions - Make your own original device to enforce a safe boundary a= round you when you're in public. You can actually build it with things like= hula hoops, pool noodles, and hats with big-ass brims, or you can design i= t using MS Paint (or its equivalent) or pen and paper. Sorry, no Photoshop-= type programs allowed. Farktography: Farktog= raphy Contest No. 797: "[Mechanical= Muscle](3D"http=)" ended in a tie between Herb Utsmelz's ph= oto of [the machine that puts the "fun"= in "funicular"](3D"=) and Lovesandwich's look at Saturn V's five mighty F-1 engines Farktography is Fark's weekly photography contest. If you would like to s= uggest a Farktography theme, please contact [Elsinore=](3D". Fark Weird Ne= ws Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy) Another fun time on the Quiz last week, where we saw the good and the = likely soon-to-be-regrettable COVID-19 merch available for sale and de= rision. On the Quiz itself, RaceDTruck came out on top wit= h the comfy chair in the 1000 club with his score of 1019, followed by = ;rider_you_know in second with 994 and Oliver= Twisted in third with 987. The Third Man an= d Denjiro tied for fourth with 955, and = FrancoFile takes fifth with 945. The hardest question on th= e Hard Quiz was over a couple of teenagers who had drifted out to sea (as t= eenagers are wont to do) off the coast of Scotland. Only 28% of quiztakers = had caught the story and knew they were riding an inflatable donut, complet= e with sprinkles, as teenagers are somewhat less wont to do. I'm trying to = guess how that emergency call from the shore must have went, and I'm thinki= ng something like "Aye, some wee bairns oot tair face are asea wit tair bah= ookies on a gran doonut! Aye, wit de splrinklies! Nae, ma bum's in the wind= ow! A doonut, I say! Mon, noo, tay lookin' shoogly! Och, aye, the noo!" ...= which the 999 operator understood perfectly, hence the rescue. The e= asiest question on the Hard Quiz was over Pocari Sweat. 86% of quiztakers k= new that this was a Japanese sports drink that has achieved some measure of= popularity both inside and outside Japan. I can't wait until it hits a cou= ntry with some famous person named "Pocari". I imagine sales volume could g= o either way depending on what the person was famous for. The hardes= t question on the Easy Quiz was over what brand of bee... I mean, American = pilsner is giving away free beer to an entire city at the conclusion of the= NFL season, assuming there is one. Only 49% of quiztakers remembered that = Philadelphia sports bar patrons were all treated to a free Bud Light after = the Eagles' Superb Owl win two years ago, and now the brand is brokering a = showdown between two kickers famous for viral videos of long field goals in= practice, with the winner getting free beer for their city. No word on wha= t happens when Atlanta brings Morten Andersen back out of retirement AGAIN,= but I'm guessing he would drink all the free beer himself. Th= e easiest question on the Easy Quiz was over whose 1965 Mustang was just re= stored by Jason Momoa. 91% of quiztakers knew that the restoration was a gi= ft for his wife Lisa Bonet, who he has admired ever since her days on That = Show We Don't Talk About Anymore where she was working when she bought it b= ack at the age of 17. Guys, trust me when I say that getting your wife's ca= r repaired is NOT a birthday gift - unless you're Jason Momoa. And you're n= ot. So get her car fixed AND get her a birthday present. Seriously. = If you missed out on last week's fun you can [catch up on th= e Quiz here](3D". Congratulations to the winners, and we'll be doing it all = again this week. --------------------------------------------------------------- ([Fark.com](3D"") sent this newsletter emai= l to: {EMAIL}) To stop these emails, go to the Notifications tab of your [MyFark profile](3D"https:=) to change your subscription preferences. Or, [click here to unsubscribe](3D") from newsletter emails, even if your Fark login isn't '{NAME}'. [Click her= e to unsubscribe from ALL Fark emails](3D"). Fark, Inc. PO Box 1713, Versailles KY 40383 = ------------=_1597866982-85278-56387--