Fark NotNewsletter: Things are weird and getting weirderer

This is a multi-part message in MIME format... ------------=_1595440207-72227-56516 Content-Type: text/html Content-Disposition: inline Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable [3D"The](3D")= > [3D"Facebook"](3D") [=3D"Twitter"](3D") [3D"Totalfark"](3D") Having trouble reading thi= s email? View it online [here](3D". Comments thread: [ 1445](3D" Unsubscribe links are at the bottom of this message. =20 =20 ________________________ A message = from Drew Curtis: ____________________= ____ Hey everyone, hope your week has been well. = Just a quick update today - At 2 p.m. ET this afternoon I'll be hosting a d= iscussion on [TotalFark](3D"=) about brainstorming some possible ch= anges to Fark subscriptions. Keep an eye out for that one, I'd love s= ome input. At 3 p.m. ET today we'll be [livestreaming the Fark News Summary](3D"). Yesterday was a banner da= y for weird and the past 24 hours seem to be keeping pace. Weird thieves ar= e out in force apparently, among other things. ___________________= _____ We now return you to your usual Fark NotNewsletter.________________________ Top Comments Some of the top-voted smartest and funn= iest comments from the past week Funny: JerseyTi= m [explained to Dinki= ong> why part of the USS Bonhomme Richard melted](3D"=) Bootleg = trong> had [a few questions about a wom= an's medical reasons for not wearing a face mask](3D".=) syrynxx = trong> [is also due some compensation relate= d to Starbucks turning away people who aren't wearing masks](3D") = Angry Drunk Bureaucrat had [a message for Burger King after their farts tweet](3D" Admirable= Snackbar sang [a song for Bur= ger King](3D=) Prof. Frink explained [the science between different kinds of fuel](3D") thatguyoverthere70 gave [a = compelling reason to stay downwind](3D" eagles95 is&nbs= p;[creative about dealing with unwanted po= litical emails from relatives](3D") Diogenes was [inspired by a restaurant's name to use a clas= sic joke format](3D") SpectroBoy did the math and figure= d out [how the attack on the World Trad= e Center was carried out](3D") Smart: moike = ng> shared stories about [working wit= h Grant Imahara for a couple of episodes of "Mythbusters"](=3D" xa= nthippe told us about a [frie= nd who was afraid she'd inherited a high risk of developing a brain aneurys= m](3D" ZZ9 Plural Z Alpha revealed [this one weird trick for people who complain their masks g= ive them acne](3D") TwowheelinTim's daughter [helped Disney by making an ad for them](3D") PenguinTheRed addressed [worries that the virus could spread through air conditioning systems](3D" Women Drink Akvavit had a [talk with Mom about plans to spend her 70th birthday at Disneyland Rapmaster2000 was](3D" bit worried about a deal at Burger King](3D" NotCodger looked on [the bright side of= a mask-hater's tirade outside a Walmart](3D"http=) stoli n coke = ng> knew [what you should do if you're = told to cover up your "Black Panther" shirt because a customer claims it's = racist](3D"=) lack of warmth had [a personal connection to a U.S. Navy ship that was on fire](3D") CSB Sunday Morning: [What's the dumbest way you've hurt yourself?](3D") Smart: USAF Retired [ruined = a perfectly good piercing](3D" Funny: I really want to know [what toejam did about this pro= blem](3D") Note: If you need a good laugh, [you really should check out this thread](3D"). CSB= [Cool Story, Bro] Sunday Morning is a thread for Farkers to share true sto= ries from their own lives based on a weekly topic. If you have a topic idea= for a CSB Sunday Morning thread, please [contact Farkback](3D" ahead = of time, or just [submit it](3D"https:=) on Saturday afternoon/evening. Please n= ote: While submitted CSB Sunday Morning threads have a high likelihood of b= eing greenlit, there is no guarantee they will be. TotalFark Dis= cussion: Note: This section can only be accessed by [TotalF= arkers](3D" Funny: CommieTaoist reveale= d [birdmanesq's setup = for video lectures](3D") Smart: MethySophocles m= ade the [exciting artwork that another Farke= r commissioned](3D"=) Smart: Shostie shared = ;[the nice way Americans tell people that th= ey're stupid](3D") Funny: Beeblebrox showed tha= t [Gary's got nothin' on Chri= s Ween](3D") Funny: ytterbium looked f= or [proof that TotalFark doesn't have a= lot of old people](3D"=) Smart: Rev.K went over= [when it's appropriate to play de= vil's advocate](3D") Smart: Moroning gave = [a reason to avoid buying a home in one type= of neighborhood](3D") Smart: Unikitty had advi= ce for [a married Farker who's constant= ly getting hit on by beautiful women](3D"=) Smart: reagabe= ast shared [some important in= formation for those who think women always want them](3D"ht=) Bonus F= arkStaff Pick: OneFretAway [gave the next line of a song](3D" Politics Funny:= > markie_farkie was [impressed by what Donald Trump showed off](3D" apocryphaandmyt= h found [a whole new reason= to appreciate face coverings](3D"https=) markie_farkie discov= ered [how dangerous Tucker Carlson's ho= bby can be](3D"=) JerseyTim commented on [how bad it looks for liberals if Barack Obama took a m= alaria drug over a decade ago](3D") gopher321 revealed&n= bsp;[the real reason Canada won't reopen the= border they share with the United States](3D") Politics Smart:= m> Angry Drunk Bureaucrat expected Trump to choose [a different amount of time for the U.S. flag t= o fly at half-mast to honor Rep. John Lewis](3D") Clarence Brown recalled [foreshadowing that= a Republican administration would send federal agents to cities to round u= p dissidents](3D"https=) Straight Outta Wells Branch figured&n= bsp;[one particular state wins the Vince Lom= bardi Trophy of Fail](3D") Ken S. revealed [the real reason Trump finally wore a mask](3D") scottydoesntknow gave more information about [a creepy, violent fantasy that conspiracy believers = are spreading](3D") Top Contes= t Entries Some of the top-voted contest entries from last= week, listed from highest number of votes down Photoshops:= RedZoneTuba found out [why Budweiser uses Clydesdales for their advertising](3D" = hail2daking showed that [some= men really do have a "type"](3D" clovercat realized&nb= sp;[one simply time travels into Mordo= r](3D") maxandgrinch found [Randy Quaid making trouble at Starbucks](3D" Sensei Can Y= ou See [completely ruined my plans= for next weekend](3D"=) RedZoneTuba [gave the United States a failing grade](3D") RedZoneTu= ba showed us [what a real Com= et looks like if you zoom in on a photo of one](3D"=) Alligator = trong> made [a huge pomander ball with = a really unfortunate design](3D"=) hail2daking helped a&n= bsp;[film studio branch out with its cl= assic logo](3D") Yammering_Splat_Vector found [a Bilbo fan who knows how to deal with an u= nruly Gollum](3D") Caption: From ["Take a famous = movie line and add 'due to the pandemic' to the end of it, due to the pande= mic"](3D"): Megathuma [didn't need any supernatural abilities](3D" LouisZepher = ng> found that [even computers are prac= ticing social distancing](3D"https://=) Angry Drunk Bureaucrat kn= ew [the safest place to be right now](3D"=)= > There were a lot more great entries for this contest, so be sure to ch= eck them out. You can [s= ee the voting results here](3D"https:=). Fartist Friday: [Illustrate what your pets would say if th= ey could talk](3D") This contest ended in a three-way between CrankyAndi's [un-cranky kitte= n](3D"=), Manic Depressive Mouse's [cat in a disaster zone](3D" and Snubnose'= s [doggy uprising](3D") This&n= bsp;week's Fartist Friday theme, brought to you by E-brake= rong>: Compete in the Summer Farklympics by using a paint/draw program= to show us what Fark-inspired event you'd medal in while representing Team= Farkistan. Bonus: Include your Team Farkistan uniform Farktogra= phy: Kirablue42 won Farktography Contest No.= 793: "[Things](3D")" with [the no-longer-missing link](3D") Farktography is Fark'= s weekly photography contest. If you would like to suggest a Farktography t= heme, please contact Elsinore. Fark Weird News Quiz (broug= ht to you by ox45tallboy) Another fun time on = the Quiz last week, and although we couldn't establish just how hot it was = outside, we did establish it was indeed hot. Luckily, the it'= s colder than the It's a Small World ride in mid-July in the 1000 club. On = the Quiz itself, The Third Man took top honors with a ridi= culous 1059, followed by uncledinAZ in second with 99= 6 and Mztlplx in third with 928. Blackst= one took fourth with 924, and senorbdub fini= shes out the top five with 923. The hardest question on the Hard Qui= z was over those wacky French and their job titles. Only 32% of quiztakers = knew that a newly created Cabinet position dealing with economic incentives= for foreign investment was somehow translated as "Minister of Attractivene= ss." I'm pretty sure the first English speakers who heard it never bot= hered to correct them, as "Minister of Attractiveness" just seems like a no= rmal French thing to have. The easiest question on the Hard Quiz was= over last week's demolition of the Palace at Auburn Hills, which was the l= argest NBA venue in the country for decades. 84% of quiztakers knew that sh= ould you manage to battle your way through 1988-2017 Detroit, you could wat= ch the Pistons play, and even get up close and personal with players such a= s the Indiana Pacers' Ron Artest. Interestingly, the Palace at Auburn Hills= was one of only two NBA arenas from the era which never sold naming rights= (the other was (is) Madison Square Garden). The hardest question on= the Easy Quiz was over a 1976 offer for a Beatles reunion, as told by Ring= o Starr at his recent online birthday party. Only 18% of quiztakers knew th= at the group turned down an astonishing £50 million after they l= earned their opening act would be some guy wrestling an 18-ft. great white = shark. It seems the group took W.C. Fields' advice and chose not to work wi= th children or animals (even if Fields never took his own advice). T= he easiest question on the Easy Quiz was over how the USDA classifies milk = products such as heavy cream, light cream, and half-and-half. 99% of quizta= kers knew that the only requirement to use these labels was to have a certa= in percentage of milkfat content. No word yet on heavy whipping almondcream= or half-and-soyhalf. If you missed the Quiz last week, you ca= n [catch up on t= he Fark Weird News Quiz here](3D"). Congratulations once again to the winners= , and we'll be doing it all again this week. --------------------------------------------------------------- ([Fark.com](3D"") sent this newsletter emai= l to: {EMAIL}) To stop these emails, go to the Notifications tab of your [MyFark profile](3D"https:=) to change your subscription preferences. Or, [click here to unsubscribe](3D") from newsletter emails, even if your Fark login isn't '{NAME}'. 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