Fark NotNewsletter: In which 2016 decided it wasn't done with us yet

This is a multi-part message in MIME format... ------------=_1482177926-10578-63671 Content-Type: text/html Content-Disposition: inline Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable [3D"The] [3D"Facebook"] [=3D"Twitter"] [3D"Totalfark"] Having trouble reading thi= s email? View it online [here]. Comments thread: [] Unsubscribe links are at the bottom of this message. =20 =20 You guys, I usually try to keep my own beliefs = out of the NotNewsletter, but I have to tell you what happened to me yester= day. I'm just livid! So I was at the grocery store in the checkout line, an= d everything was going fine until after I paid. The cashier handed me my re= ceipt, and then said to me, "Have a nice day." Seriously?! Look, you= can do what you want, but I'm an American and I celebrate Morning like our= founding fathers did. I'm so tired of everyone kowtowing to every tiny lit= tle interest group and saying to have a nice day rather than saying "Good M= orning" like we used to do. We can't let them attack Morning like this anym= ore. We need to stop giving business to any company that gives in to politi= cally correct bullcrap like this. This country is built on people wh= o get up and greet the Morning, so let them keep their Afternoon, Evening, = Night -- and now there are people even celebrating Dusk! -- in their own ho= mes and stop trying to spoil Morning for the rest of us!  = ; Comment Mentions &nb= sp; The number of comments these words were mentioned in on Fark and Tot= alFark in the past week Faithless elector - 99 Alan Thicke = - 64 Zsa Zsa Gabor - 78 Bacon - 398 Comment Voting Some of th= e top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week = Funniest: Sin_City_Superhero figured out that = [some of you are cats] Highland= erRPI has a pretty [good user name f= or posting this image] Weatherkiss is hopeful that Obama will do this one more thing before = Trump's inauguration ArkPanda provided the [transcript of Obama's most recent press conference]ROFLSAUCE showed [who plan= s on being the reason for the season] smerfnablin sh= ared some [people being jerks on the internet=] Sin_City_Superhero was angry about [a serious transgression] UberDave il= lustrated [the toll 2016 has taken on us]Badgers [prefers sharper = knees] fusillade762 showed [concern for the real victims] Smartest: Pocket Ninja ranted about [th= e phrase "faith friendly"] markie_farkie commented o= n [Obama's press conference] Me= talMen thought that Farkers excuse [people making up hate crimes] cretinbob thought tha= t a [preacher telling kids that Santa isn't = real was missing the irony] Sgt Otter noticed [something strange about conspiracy theorists]mattharvest argued that [you can have good intentions and still be a monster] Blather= ing Idjut was glad that [a president= ial news conference was a presidential news conference] DeArm= ondVI has [extra reason to be angry = about Sandy Hook truthers] GooberMcFly wondered abou= t [journalists' priorities] Nex= zus pointed out that [sometimes po= rtrait orientation for video is the right call] CSB Sun= day Morning: [Kid sayings] Smartest:= m> Glockenspiel Hero discovered that [children should be in charge of some things] Funniest= : Demetrius found [a pr= actical use for kidspeak] If you would like to suggest a to= pic for a CSB Sunday Morning thread, please email [d= ugitman]. Politics Funniest: S= narfangel hinted that [it's not the= Lizard People that we have to worry about] Sgt Otter = g>shared a tweet about [people's votes coming= back to bite them] Petit_Merdeux revealed [who's really at fault for a family's health problems doyner responded to][fears that Muslim immigrants are taking American jobs] shanr= ick found proof of a [close relati= onship between Putin and Trump] Politics Smartest:= Weaver95 made a [predict= ion about Trump's presidency] kbronsito showed [what a stigginit attitude is like] = fusillade762 thought [the whole me= ss smelled like coup] Silverstaff argued in favor of= [electors getting an intelligence briefing= a> lilbjorn gave an example of][the importance of intelligence briefings] = Contest Votes S= ome of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest nu= mber of votes down Photoshops: verchad = trong>went for the [easy votes in this motorb= oat Photoshop] Pure Weapons-Grade Bolonium managed t= o [make this statue a little less horrifying RedZoneTuba showed][a sad devolution] Surly U. Jest [put the "pole" in North Pole] Yammering_Splat_Vec= tor showed [a very unfair fight]wickedfish made [an updat= ed sunblock ad] Surly U. Jest discovered that [huffing alone doesn't keep a person warm] zeon proved [Lucy is a dick to= everyone] Circusdog320 made some [art to sell to the Trump Foundation] Yammering= _Splat_Vector [brought Christmas to = one Easter Grinch] Farktography: Queen = Mab won Farktography Contest No. 606: "[White 2]" with [a head collection] If you would like to= suggest a theme for a Farktography contest, you can contact [Elsinore] or stop by the [Farktography Forum]. = Upcoming Fark Parties= an> See Farkers up close in their unnatural habitats &n= bsp; Friday, January 26th: [C= ES Fark Party in Las Vegas] If you'd like to plan a Fark Pa= rty in your area, you can use the [Fark Party submission form]. Headlines of the Week= n> (brought to you by ox45tallboy) Flying turkeys hitting power lines cause outages in Oregon. As god = is my witness, I thought turkeys could fry [If you= haven't seen McDonald's newest coffee cup design, goatsee it now before th= ey pull it] [KKK Grand Dragon arrested for alleged = knife fight after too much vodka and OJ. Never bring a screwdriver to a kni= fe fight] [Captive woman turns to UPS guy for deliv= erance] [NFL announces London game schedule for 201= 7, including one minor league game between the Browns and Vikings] &n= bsp; [Scientists "reprogram" cells in mice to reverse aging proc= ess. Great, now the eek shall inherit the Earth] [B= ob Barker turns 93, or at least close to it without going over]  = ; [Donald Trump has decided Mittens just won't fit his tiny, tin= y hands] [Millions of Cuisinarts recalled due to or= al lacerations. What are you pervs doing with your kitchen appliances, anyw= ay?] You can see the rest of them [right here].&= nbsp; Weird News Quiz Results (brought to you by = ox45tallboy) This week our awesome quizmasters phleggmo, Ivan, and Sim Tree= ng>, were at it again, with no one breaking 1000, and only 4 people breakin= g 900. When they say it's the hard version, they mean it. Our top scorer th= is week was dv-ous with 963, followed by Thea= etetus with 921 and QifufuWahuta with 908, with Type random string here's 902 and chrisco123= g>'s 899 rounding out the top 5. There's room for better score= s--highest theoretical score is 1100--so if you think you can beat them, go= get your name on the list--give last Friday's quiz a shot here:  = ;[Fark Weird News Quiz - December 16]. --------------------------------------------------------------- ([Fark.com] sent this newsletter email= to: {EMAIL}) To stop these emails, go to the Notifications tab of your [MyFark profile] to change your subscription preferences. Or, [click here to unsubscribe] from newsletter emails, even if your Fark login isn't '{NAME}'. [Click here= to unsubscribe from ALL Fark emails]. Fark, Inc. 333 West Vine St Suite 210, Lexington KY 40507 = ------------=_1482177926-10578-63671--