Fark NotNewsletter: Traffic goes up, revenue goes down. You can't explain that

This is a multi-part message in MIME format... ------------=_1587684579-50002-56984 Content-Type: text/html Content-Disposition: inline Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable [3D"The](3D")= > [3D"Facebook"](3D") [=3D"Twitter"](3D") [3D"Totalfark"](3D") Having trouble reading thi= s email? View it online [here](3D". Comments thread: [ 0414](3D" Unsubscribe links are at the bottom of this message. =20 =20 ________________________ A message = from Drew Curtis: ____________________= ____ Hey everyone - the newsletter got delayed because a bunch= of backend stuff happened. It's all fixed now, but we were hoping to= launch a new feature - given the time constraints, we're going to punt it = to next week. As for the situation on our end, industry-= wide digital media revenues are still down 50%-70%, which sucks because tra= ffic is up 20-25%. Tl;dr: If you can afford it right now= , we need you to subscribe to [TotalFark](=3D" or [BareFark=](3D" or purchase some [Farks2Give](3D"https=) asap. Someone = in a thread asked me how it's even possible to have traffic up and revenues= down - the reason is because when economic distress hits, the first t= hing companies do is slash marketing and advertising budgets to zero. = Display ads work on a bidding system, the highest bidders' ads get display= ed. So if the bottom drops out of display demand, ads win the bid at = much lower rates than usual. So revenue down is the result. Tra= ffic is up because everyone's bored at home, but on much lower ad revenue. It's not just Fark having this problem, it's literally all digital m= edia companies. From this summary posted on [Axios](3D") yesterday: "Vice Media has laid out a plan for p= otential layoffs of over 300 people in digital operations, according to The= Wall Street Journal. It would be joining Group Nine Media, BuzzFeed, Vox M= edia, Bustle Digital Group, Cheddar, Maven Media, G/O Media, Protocol and o= thers who have resorted to layoffs and furloughs." The a= rticle states that most companies are looking at a shortfall of about 30%, = I would add that those projections assume the ad market recovers sometime b= efore the end of the year. I'm not making any such assumptions on our= end. The last time ad revenues cratered in 2008, revenues didn't rec= over for 18 months. If revenues come back sooner, that will be a plea= sant surprise, but I can't afford to assume anything. Si= nce we sounded the alarm, we've had 1,500 new TotalFark signups and about 1= ,000 new BareFark signups - thank you so much! Subscriptions will car= ry us through this, so if you haven't signed up for [TotalFa= rk](3D" or [BareFark](3D"=) yet and you can swing it, now would b= e a fantastic time to do so. And don't forget, you can also purchase&= nbsp;[Farks2Give](3D"). On this week's [Fark and Schnitt podcast](3D"), we interv= iew my good friend Brooke Binkowski, currently a journalist at [TruthOrFiction.com](3D"), formerly of Snopes. She's pre= tty much a conspiracy theory connoisseur, and we contacted her to help us r= ound up all of the dumbest conspiracy theories and where they originated.&n= bsp; She has a very interesting conclusion about what's driving them. = Also, my friend Dallan and I have been livestreaming pretty m= uch daily Tuesday-Friday [on Twitch](3D"htt=) at [Twitch.tv/drewcurtis](3D"). Dallan is a video and audi= o wiz who suggested livestreaming might be a thing to do during the pandemi= c, and so far it's been a lot of fun. In that half an hour or so, we = take the entire news cycle for the day and crush it into the important stuf= f you need to know, the important stuff no one is seeing, the stuff no one = needs to know, the stuff I had to see and now you do also, and cat videos.&= nbsp; Come check it out if you get the chance. As an added bonus, Fri= day we'll be having a watch party for the North Korean movie "Pulgasari," w= hich while nowhere as good as "Parasite," is historic in its own right due = to a fairly insane backstory involving kidnapping and international intrigu= e. And I won't be doing this sober, either. ____________= ____________ We now return you to your usual Fark NotNewsletter.= ________________________ Top Comments Some of the top-voted smartest a= nd funniest comments from the past week Funny: T= hatGuyFromTheInternet described what happened in a video of = [a car in Poland going airborne in a roundab= out](3D") DeadGeek thought [a video of a flying car might go a different way](3D" Cal= ypsocookie expected a divine= message FNG had [a serious point to make about the Ballsack Conundrum](3D" far= k account name pointed out that [there's still something to eat even if there's a problem with the food = supply](3D" Dead for Tax Reasons shared [a nursery rhyme with a surprise twist](3D") = SuburbanCowboy knew who was = responsible for some scary driving Demetrius agree= d with someone who [wanted his kids to= get coronavirus](3D"http=) bdub77 let us know [what some vultures spotted flying over Manhattan wer= e discussing](3D") grokca explained [why a bunny is the symbol of Easter](3D") Smart: Demetrius agreed with someone who [wanted his kids to get coronavirus](3D") Neo= Cortex42 pointed out [more me= dical misinformation Oprah Winfrey has promoted in the past](3D" = SpecialSnowFlake named more ["negatives of living in a rural community"](3D" GardenWeasel = trong> noticed something familiar about [churches encouraging their members to continue crowding into churches](3D" Bennie Crabtree discussed [lesser-known ways COVID-19 attacks the body](3D" Herb= ie555 shared personal experience showing that [the 1978 "Superman" movie can still be enjoyed by new aud= iences](3D") ecmoRandomNumbers figured that there's anot= her way in which certain people in NYC are [looking to capitalize on the pandemic](3D" hobnail had= a theory on [why the Easter Bunny was = created](3D"=) Ambivalence had a question for people who = are [willing to risk getting COVID-19 j= ust to go to church](3D"=) OK So Amuse Me's [life was changed by the Ballsack Conundrum thread](3D")= > CSB Sunday Morning: [Social closeness](3D") Smart: The Pope of Manwich= Village had [a perfect start= to Y2K](3D"=) Smart (honorable mention): harleyquinnical = shared a story about [simply = feeling accepted](3D" Funny: Interceptor1 shar= ed a story about [stealing a crowd's at= tention at the Motocross Nationals](3D"https:=) CSB [Cool Story, Bro] Sunday = Morning is a thread where Farkers share true stories from their own lives b= ased on a weekly topic. If you have a topic idea for a CSB Sunday Morning t= hread, please [contact Farkback](3D"=) ahead of time, or just [submit it on Saturday afternoon/evening. If you're posting an intro, you'll want = to write it out first so you can copy and paste it in for the Boobies. Plea= se note: While submitted CSB Sunday Morning threads have a high likelihood = of being greenlit, there is no guarantee they will be. Tot= alFark Discussion: Note: This section can only be accessed by](3D" Smart: croesius m= ade [a nifty Minecraft cake](3D"=) = Smart: The Pope of Manwich Village is [taking care of employees](3D") Smart: e= nvirovore thought of [a reaso= n for garden centers to remain open](3D" Funny: oldfarth= enry found [either the worst = or the best Easter toy](3D"ht=) Funny: CommieTaoist = > reacted to finding out [a Farkers' Evangel= ical parents don't acknowledge Jewish holidays to their converted child](3D"htt=)= Funny: SnackCake told TotalFarkers about = ;[getting slapped for not offering his date some toast = (complete with illustration)](3D") Politics Funny: Chariset explained how the = virus spread even after Donald Trump claims he "banned China" Schroedinger's Glory Hole [hyped= us up for Barack Obama's endorsement of Joe Biden](3D" Cubansalt= yballs knew exactly why a co= mprehensive study did not find that hydroxychloroquine is an effective trea= tment for COVID-19 vrax lamented [a fellow Farker's living situation](3D") Rev.K= revealed [how generous Trump= was when Governor Cuomo needed supplies](3D"htt=) Politics Smart:= > Recoil Therapy had an idea of [how a nursing home doctor who gave hydroxychloroquine to do= zens of elderly patients can help](3D") optikeye discuss= ed [a previous president's refusal to a= ddress a public health crisis until someone he knew died](3D"=) Ben= evolent Misanthrope predicted [what could happen if Trump decides it's time to "open up the states"](3D" thought a [conspiracy theory when Bill Clinton was president looks to be clos= er to reality today](3D" blastoh examined the theory th= at [protesters displayed swastikas beca= use they were calling the governor a Nazi](3D"=) Top Contest Entries Some of the top-voted c= ontest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down = Photoshops: hail2daking wouldn't mind&nbs= p;[looking like an inflatable companion wh= ile wearing PPE](3D") hail2daking also wanted to wear&nb= sp;[a mask that could help line up some dat= es for after social distances ends](3D") Daddy's Big Pink Man-Squi= rrel showed [how we can enjoy holi= days while staying safe](3D"https:=) Herb Utsmelz [experienced an error and had to shut down](3D") #2 designed [the bestest Goo= gle Doodle](3D"=) Yammering_Splat_Vector figured [advertising should be tailored to the medium](3D")= > noazark [taught this= little boy what happens to liars](=3D" RedZoneTuba shar= ed a photo of [Zefram Cochrane with his= new invention](3D"https://w=) Cork on Fork discovered [the secret to Bill Gates' success](3D") = noazark showed us what a really boop-able nose looks like Captions: From&nbs= p;[Caption these beach-going cows](3D"):= > Kick The Chair knew [why the cows weren't in the water](3D" Driver sh= ared [advice from the cows](3D"=) F= rom [Caption this coronavirus protester=](3D"=): King Something heard [this woman spreading a message of love](3D") Firm = Tautology knew [what this m= egaphone is for](=3D" From [Caption this newly famous photo of the zo= mbie apocalypse in Ohio](3D"): Palined Parenthood n= amed [the group protesting measures to = limit the spread of COVID-19](3D"=) bearded clamorer real= ized [these people were actually filmin= g a commercial](3D"=) Fartist Friday: [Make your own "Wilson"](3D") = Some dirtbag named DisseminationMonkey made [a scary Chairry](3D") This week'= s Fartist Friday theme, brought to you by E-brake: A = Portrait of the F'artiste: MSPaint your selfie About Fartist Fri= day: Fartist Friday is a weekly contest to help keep you entertaine= d by giving you a way to show off your artistic skills - or lack thereof - = during this time of social distancing. The winners of the Fartist Friday co= ntests will be named in the following Fark NotNewsletter, where we'll also = announce the theme for the next contest. Fartist Friday contests will be su= bmitted Thursdays with commenting closed until an hour before they show up = on Fark's main page on Fridays, and will close to both comments and voting = at the end of the day (midnight Eastern) on Sundays. All times are app= roximate because we're all drunk. We're asking each person to limit their e= ntries to three per contest. We might change things up depending on fe= edback. Please [contact Farkback](3D"=) to let us know what you think, and fe= el free to [submit your own Fartist Friday ideas](3D".=). Farktograp= hy: fluffybunny won Farktography Contest No.= 780: "[Isolation](3D")" with [a view into the past](3D") Farktography is Fark's= weekly photography contest. If you would like to suggest a Farktography th= eme, please contact Elsinore. = Fark Weird News Quiz (brough= t to you by ox45tallboy) Another fun time on t= he Quiz last week, with three folks making it into the Zoom Meeting Virtual= 1000 Club. Glockenspiel Hero came out on top wi= th an awesome 1030, followed by Mztlplx in second wit= h 1019 and Myk-House of El in third with 1011.&n= bsp;TwoHead took fourth with 997, and seelorq= brings up fifth with 970. The hardest question on the Hard= Quiz was over a series of weird coincidences that resulted in a fire at a = U-Haul location in Eugene, OR. Only 36% of quiztakers knew that a man threw= a lit firecracker at a woman in the heat of an argument (while maintaining= social distancing), and the sparks from the firecracker ignited gas fumes = from underneath a nearby truck where another man, unbeknownst to the couple= , was attempting to siphon gas. Perhaps in the future they all will move to= Florida where this sort of thing barely makes the news. The easiest= question on the Hard Quiz was over a forest fire that was spiking rad= iation levels near the scene of a horrible nuclear accident. 95% of quiztak= ers knew that the fire was right beside the former Chernobyl nuclear power = plant, which tragically underwent meltdown after an explosion and fire at R= eactor 4 in 1986. Fortunately, no one died due to the fire, but I'm betting= Todd Howard is taking notes for a new "world event:" in Fallout '76 t= his fall. The hardest question on the Easy Quiz was about what exact= ly "Phoenix, Oregon" is. Only 30% of quiztakers knew that in addition to it= being a city in Jackson, County, OR with a population of ~4600, it was als= o technically the number one movie in America, with a box office take of $2= ,903. The movie is about two friends who handle their midlife crisis by ope= ning a bowling alley-slash-pizzeria in their small town instead of buying a= convertible or getting hair plugs like normal guys. The easie= st question on the Easy Quiz was over the DoubleTree Hotel and their recent= release of their "secret" cookie recipe. 88% of quiztakers knew that Doubl= eTree policy is to offer every guest a freshly baked chocolate chip cookie.= They've event sent their cookie dough to the International Space Station t= o be cooked in space, which I imagine was really frustrating for the astron= auts because the resulting cookies were sent back to earth to be studied ra= ther than eaten by the astronauts. It would have been like when you wake up= to the smell of cinnamon rolls but your roommate is baking them to take to= funeral or something and you can't have one. Congratulations again = to the winners, and if you missed the quiz last week, you can [catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz here](3D"). --------------------------------------------------------------- ([Fark.com](3D"") sent this newsletter emai= l to: {EMAIL}) To stop these emails, go to the Notifications tab of your [MyFark profile](3D"https:=) to change your subscription preferences. Or, [click here to unsubscribe](3D") from newsletter emails, even if your Fark login isn't '{NAME}'. [Click her= e to unsubscribe from ALL Fark emails](3D"). Fark, Inc. PO Box 1713, Versailles KY 40383 = ------------=_1587684579-50002-56984--