Fark NotNewsletter: Don't run out of Farks2Give during the pandemic

This is a multi-part message in MIME format... ------------=_1586975646-25129-57035 Content-Type: text/html Content-Disposition: inline Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable [3D"The](3D")= > [3D"Facebook"](3D") [=3D"Twitter"](3D") [3D"Totalfark"](3D") Having trouble reading thi= s email? View it online [here](3D". Comments thread: [ 0785](3D" Unsubscribe links are at the bottom of this message. =20 =20 ________________________ A message = from Drew Curtis: ____________________= ____ Tl;dr sign up for [TotalFark](3D" and [Bar= eFark](3D" if you can. Or purchase some [Farks2Give](3D". See b= elow. I'm not expecting ad revenues to rebound anytime soon - I've t= alked to other folks who work at digital media companies and it's the same = everywhere: ad revenues are down 50%-70%. There's some hope out there= that companies that are suited toward lockdowns, such as delivery services= etc, will realize there's a marketing bargain to be had. I'm optimistic th= at they're right but I have no evidence so far. The [IAB predicted in a survey](3D") tha= t ad spending is going to be down at least 50% for the foreseeable future -= for all digital media. It's unfortunate that revenue is down while t= raffic is up - especially on weekends since no one's going anywhere. &= nbsp; As I mentioned last week, this is hitting pretty much everyone= in digital media. Subscribe to your local newspaper as well if you c= an. All the ones near where I live furloughed their employees. Somet= ime between now and next week, we're going to test what happens if we block= ad blockers for 24 hours. During that test, if you need adblock for = technology or usability reasons and can't afford BareFark, email us and we'= ll set you up with BareFark at no charge. We don't want to cause fina= ncial hardship for anyone. We applied for an SBA disaste= r loan last week, but so far we haven't been able to apply for the paycheck= protection program because for some reason our bank was behind the curve o= n getting their program together - however we're talking to them today (as = I'm writing this, in fact) so hopefully we'll see some progress.  = ; On the plus side, we had about 1,100 people [sign up for T= otalFark](3D" and about 900 people sign up for BareFark in the p= ast week. Thank you all so much. That helps, but we could still use m= ore signups. If you haven't signed up for either, or both, now would be a p= articularly good time to do it. For folks looking for ad= ditional ways to help, the Fark Dev team worked through the weekend and ret= ooled our gift subscription program. Now you can buy 1, 5, 25, or how= ever many gift months of TotalFark in one go that you might want to purchas= e. You can either buy them for yourself to use later, you can give them to = others later, or you can give them to others when you buy them. We're= calling them [Farks2Give](3D"=), because, as we all know, no one should be= all out of [Farks2Give](3D"=). There's more [information about Farks2Give on the FArQ page](3D". By the way, this helps= us in a similar way to how it helps your local restaurants to buy gift cer= tificates right now, give some thought to that as well if you can. &nb= sp; This week on the [Fark and Schnitt Podcast](3D"=), I go into a bit more detail about= how Fark is doing, and tease something we're going to launch next week to = help on the revenue side of things. We talk briefly about those we kn= ow who were lost to COVID-19 - some of you may or may not know that Fo= untains of Wayne were Farkers thanks to Chris Collingwood turning the rest = of the band on to us. And to finish on a more upbeat note, we do a qu= ick hit roundup of morons being morons, because why would anyone want to st= op being dumb during a pandemic? Finally, Dallan and I are still exp= erimenting with an almost-daily Fark livestream, you can find it at [twitch.tv/drewcurtis](3D"). We did one last night at 7= :30 p.m., we're looking to do another one today at 2 p.m., which might have= passed by the time the newsletter goes out, but you can watch the video re= cap on [Twitch](3D"), [Facebook](3D"), or= YouTube anytime you want. We cover what's important in today's news = cycle, what's not getting enough attention, the news cycle's meta for the d= ay, then some silly stuff, then some cat videos. Also, my dad likes it. Com= e check it out. I hope you all are well and safe. ________________________ We now return you to your usual Fark= NotNewsletter. ________________________ Top Comments Some of the top-v= oted smartest and funniest comments from the past week Funny:= m> pkjun revealed [this one weird trick for taking over the country](3D" optikeye explained [why squirrels caus= e power outages so often](3D"http=) gonegirl shared a story a= bout [a grocery store worker who needed= to work on phrasing](3D"=) Snapper Carr was disappointed= by [a missed opportunity for an easy j= oke](3D"=) BafflerMeal was impressed by [what one do-it-yourself face mask could accomplish](3D")dready zim let us know [not all pets have been enjoying having people home all day](3D" nyseattitude saw [no ne= ed to go changing anything](3D" And neith= er did We Ate the Necco Wafers EvilEgg= knew something else about [a = woman who lost her jobs as tattoo artist, a professional traveling chalk ar= tist, and a director of administration at an event center](3D" Iv= o Shandor had [one thing to s= ay about a new case of Ebola in the Democratic Republic of the Congo](3D=) Smart: pkjun figured that [a photo doesn't really show anything bad](3D") aimtastic thought there might be a reason for [the weight a woman gained that her fiance complains a= bout](3D") parasol discussed [being immune to a virus once you've had it and recovered from i= t](3D" TWX talked about [the reason why sometimes you need to push the button, sometimes you = don't](3D" wademh pointed out [how face masks still provide protection even if they don't bloc= k everything](3D") potierrh appreciated [the useful example a Fark thread was providing](3D") = moos offered advice on [wh= at to do if your fiance is complaining about your weight gain](3D" ecmoRandomNumbers shared stories illustrating [the importance of wearing helmets when recommended for the = vehicle you're operating](3D") wejash emphasized [the limits on a small study comparing the eff= ectiveness of types of masks in blocking COVID-19](3D") Boondock38= 06 did the math on the corre= ct course of action if COVID-19 kills 60,000 people in the U.S. by August= a> CSB Sunday Morning: [Unexpectedly running into someone you = know](3D") Smart: Auntie Cheesus shared a story abo= ut[a couple of trips to the doctor](3D"=)= Funny: MorningBreath [impressed a college classmate by managing to complete a difficult = task](3D" CSB [Cool Story, Bro] Sunday Morning is a thread where Fark= ers share true stories from their own lives based on a weekly topic. If you= have a topic idea for a CSB Sunday Morning thread, please [contact Farkba= ck](3D" ahead of time, or just submit it on Saturday afternoon/even= ing. If you're posting an intro, you'll want to write it out first so you c= an copy and paste it in for the Boobies. Please note: While submitted CSB S= unday Morning threads have a high likelihood of being greenlit, there is no= guarantee they will be. TotalFark Discussion: Not= e: This section can only be accessed by [TotalFarkers](3D" Funny: MBK answered Murflette= ong>'s question about [why a couple was= driving around with mannequin legs sticking up in the back of their vehicl= e](3D"h=). Amusingly, Murflette did try to ask this [in the earlier thread](3D"), but apparently was ignored= and could not stop thinking about it five days later Smart: Nadie_AZ had advice fo= r someone having to drop a sibling off at the hospital with COVID-19 sympto= ms Funny: Hyperbolic Hyperbole explained&= nbsp;[why strangers were taking photos of craigzy's house](3D") Smart: hubiestubert = has some experience with [the= kind of help people need when they're fighting for their lives](3D" = Smart: flucto had an idea of [how to know when "all this is over at last"](3D") Smar= t: Beeblebrox gave some [bad health advice](3D" Politics Funny: F= lashHarry guessed at [what ki= nd of recommendations Erick Erickson might get based on the cross in front = of his house](3D" Byno stood up for [a woman who thought the pandemic was a hoax](3D") markie_farkie took some guesses as to [what Donald Trump referring to when he tweeted, "WE WILL BUILD = IT AGAIN!"](3D") propasaurus helpfully [reminded bloobeary to stay on topic i= n a thread about Medicare eligibility age](3D") and student debt A= l Roker's Forecast revealed [the U.S. Post Office's response to Trump refusing to help them stay afloat=](3D" Bonus FarkStaff Pick: The Third Man = g> helped out when [there was confusio= n over Trump's offensive nickname for Elizabeth Warren](3D"http=). Thanks SFSailor for [calling attenti= on to that comment](3D"=), and I hope this makes this timeline a little more j= ust. Politics Smart: Action Replay Nick = > saw [reason to hope for Boris Johnson= 's full recovery](3D".=) fifthofzen argued that [Trump dumped California before California dumped= Trump](3D") Gubbo pointed out why [we should've known that the federal government would start = taking personal protective equipment shipments meant for states and hospita= ls](3D") Butterflew talked about [what it's like being in one of the states that's having its= PPE order seized by feds](3D") Marcus Aurelius figured = that [health care can still work with c= apitalism, but with some adjustments](3D"=) Top Contest Entries Some of the top-voted co= ntest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down Photoshops: clovercat discovered that = ;[the Rabbit of Caerbannog has evolved](3D")noazark found out [who ruined the corn flakes](3D" FarkingIceHole showed = us [why they call it the Astro Slide](3D"=)= > noazark figured out [how to take advantage of this building's interesting facade](3D" Alligator proved that [Sully could've landed in a better place than the Hudson](3D" hai= l2daking reminded us about [the hard work that health care workers are doing right now](3D" = Yammering_Splat_Vector went a little [overboard on the cadmium yellow](3D" hail2daking = g> had [an Easter parade that lacked so= cial distancing, but did have masks](3D"=) Driver got&nbs= p;[a worker and a supervisor to clean this= messy hillside](3D") hail2daking went [shopping for a new apartment](3D") Captions:From [Caption this audible drone](3D"=):= CrossEyed had [super urgent information about your vehicle](3D" guestguy = rong> lost [the most important file on = any computer](3D".=) Fartist Friday: [Cupboard & cabi= net creations](3D") farrrrrt built [a questionable robot](3D") This week's F= artist Friday theme, brought to you by E-brake: "Make= Your Own Wilson" while we're stuck at home, [inspired= by "Castaway](3D")." Get hands-on artsy crafty with materials at home = and show us your real-life creation. Use googlGubbo y eyes= , Sharpies, paint, etc. - let your creative flag fly! About Fartist Friday: Fartist Friday is a weekly contest to help= keep you entertained by giving you a way to show off your artistic skills = - or lack thereof - during this time of social distancing. The winners of t= he Fartist Friday contests will be named in the following Fark NotNewslette= r, where we'll also announce the theme for the next contest. Fartist Friday= contests will be submitted Thursdays with commenting closed until an hour = before they show up on Fark's main page on Fridays, and will close to both = comments and voting at the end of the day (midnight Eastern) on Sunday= s. All times are approximate because we're all drunk. We're asking each per= son to limit their entries to three per contest. We might change thing= s up depending on feedback. Please contact Farkback to let us know wh= at you think, and feel free to [submit your own Fartist Friday ideas](=3D". Farktography: gregscott won Farkto= graphy Contest No. 779: "[Free For All = 2](3D"htt=)" with [this friendly hummer](3D"=) Farktography is Fark's weekly photography contest. If you would like = to suggest a Farktography theme, please contact [Elsino= re](3D". Fark Weird = News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy) Another fun time on the Quiz, although no one's volunteering for the= ankle monitors to go with our collective house arrests. The 1000 club has = three socially distant members this week, but unfortunately there's no spor= tsball to watch at the bar. budjones takes the top sp= ot with 1038, followed by maddog2030 in second with 1= 037 and bingethinker in third with 1007. PureBounds made fourth with 993. and wearsmanyhats= strong> makes the top five with 988. The hardest question on the Har= d Quiz is over what bargain a British driver not only defied stay-at-home r= ules to drive a 220-mile round trip to pick up, but made his wife ride in t= he trunk so his ebay find could ride in front. Only 32% of quiztakers knew = that it was windows he was picking up. All I gotta say it had better have b= een a beautiful bay window for his wife's sitting room. The ea= siest question on the Hard Quiz was over how British police went about maki= ng the former rock quarry known as "the Blue Lagoon" a little less Instagra= m friendly. 92% of people knew they just dumped in a bit of non-toxic black= dye, which made it a little less photogenic, unless you're filming one of = those post-apocalyptic movie scenes where the mutated antagonist rises from= black liquid ooze to terrorize the heroes. The hardest question on = the Easy Quiz was over a "loach," an aquatic creature found in both Ja= panese dojou restaurants and in the new Animal Crossing game. Only 25% of q= uiztakers knew it was a kind of fish. From what I here, there both a tasty = treat and a great way to farm resources in video games. The easiest = question on the Easy Quiz was over the new limited-edition flavor of Dorito= s available in Australia. 85% of quiztakers knew you could pick up some Mou= ntain Dew flavored tortilla chips because this is the world we live in. No = word on if Taco Bell will soon be making taco shells in this flavor, but it= would not surprise me. Congratulations to the winners, and we'll be= doing it all again this week. --------------------------------------------------------------- ([Fark.com](3D"") sent this newsletter emai= l to: {EMAIL}) To stop these emails, go to the Notifications tab of your [MyFark profile](3D"https:=) to change your subscription preferences. Or, [click here to unsubscribe](3D") from newsletter emails, even if your Fark login isn't '{NAME}'. [Click her= e to unsubscribe from ALL Fark emails](3D"). Fark, Inc. PO Box 1713, Versailles KY 40383 = ------------=_1586975646-25129-57035--