Fark NotNewsletter: Update on where our awesome, snarky Fark community stands today

This is a multi-part message in MIME format... ------------=_1585166196-9114-57146 Content-Type: text/html Content-Disposition: inline Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable [3D"The](3D")= > [3D"Facebook"](3D") [=3D"Twitter"](3D") [3D"Totalfark"](3D") Having trouble reading thi= s email? View it online [here](3D". Comments thread: [ 6964](3D" Unsubscribe links are at the bottom of this message. =20 =20 ________________________ A message = from Drew Curtis: ____________________= ____ TL;DR: If you can, sign up for [TotalFark and/or](3D" ASAP - digital ad revenue cratered in tande= m with the economy. Back in January 2008, ad revenue wen= t to practically zero for a little over a year. Interestingly, it pre= ceded the worst of the financial crisis by about six months. That was the y= ear that I learned that when financial times get tough, ad budgets get canc= elled first. The ad market hasn't been super strong this= year, but as you're probably aware, the pandemic has kicked off a financia= l crisis. Although the online ad market is far more mature today than= it was back in 2008, I suspected we'd probably start seeing a revenue drop= starting next week after April 1st because ad budgets are drawn up q= uarterly. However, something unprecedented is happening.= For some background context, in normal times, advertise= rs and ad networks are terrified of not paying out. Mainly because if= you get the reputation of booking inventory and then running off without p= aying, you don't tend to keep repeat clients. It's not that non-payme= nt has never happened to Fark, but it's extremely rare. To give you the dum= best example of this, we had one ad network in 2016 not only fail to pay fo= r several months of ads, but actually suggested that we take payment in a c= ryptocurrency they had just created. But it's a rare occurrence. = ; Late last week, a fellow Farker who is CTO of an adtech comp= any we've been working with closely hit me up with a warning. He said= that as of last Thursday, they're seeing [industry-wide cancellations](3D")= . Companies aren't waiting until the 2nd quarter - they're pulling ads -now= - on existing deals. Understandable given the current situation, but = it doesn't help Fark at all. The existing ads are still = bringing in some revenue, although the advertisers I'm seeing are pretty st= range - not sure what company is trying to sell me bikinis during a pandemi= c, but whatever, you be you Mr. or Ms. bikini retailer. However, it'= s not going to be enough. In 2008, we survived because y= ou, the community, stepped up and supported us through [TotalFark = subscriptions](3D". We need that again. If you've been laid off,= hang onto your money. However, for the rest of you, if $5/month is s= till no big deal to you, we need you to [sign up for TotalFark ASAP=](3D". You can also buy subscriptions for other Farkers if you like.&n= bsp; We may also have to consider blocking ad-blockers. 60% of= Farkers use them, and there are many good reasons people use them other th= an not wanting to see ads, which is why we haven't taken this step before.&= nbsp; If we end up doing this, for anyone experiencing financial hardship w= ho needs ad blocking because of disability, technology restriction, or anot= her relevant reason, just let us know and we'll activate [BareFark=](3D" for you at no charge. For those of you for whom $2.50 is not a s= ignificant imposition, sign on up to [BareFark](3D" and you'll be ri= ght back to an ads-free experience. I've been asked many times if it'= s better financially for Fark to see ads or to sign up for [BareFark=](3D" - [BareFark](3D") is by far the better option from a revenue stan= dpoint. Even during a good economy, ads don't pay well at all. I wish= there were a better digital revenue model, but that's what we've got = to work with . Meanwhile, I'll keep drinking from the ne= ws cycle firehose and keep you up to date on what's going on pandemic-= wise. I'll try to keep it funny, but you know how it goes - we have t= o work with the news cycle we get. I would suggest if you need a break from= COVID-19, check out the Geek tab. Pretty much everything not COVID-r= elated is landing in there. Additionally, Dallan and I a= re planning to start streaming a video and podcast daily update on all the = tubes, so keep an eye out for that. We did a test run yesterday -&nbs= p;I didn't link it on main Fark, but it's still on [Fark's Facebook page](3D") if you'd like to see us muddle through while = we figure out a format. It probably won't be exactly 5 times a w= eek; today, for example, things are probably getting away from us.&nbs= p; I hate making this newsletter all about us - I hope you are= doing well and are safe. Please check on each other and if you need = anything, let us know. We'll be posting regular [discussion threads= a> on these topics, so keep an eye out. Feel free to submit them as w= ell - I'll greenlight nearly any discussion tab topic, especially if they'r= e funny. On this week's](3D" & Schnitt podcast](3D"), Todd and I compa= re notes on what it's like in middle America vs NYC as the COVID-19 si= tuation rapidly changes. Turns out neither area has a monopoly on morons.&n= bsp; Some New Yorkers still aren't doing the social distancing thi= ng. Meanwhile, in eastern Kentucky, some folks are turning towards applying= extra Jesus to the problem. And Todd's evacuation of his kids last w= eek from NYC looks more and more brilliant with each passing day. &nbs= p; Next week, assuming everything doesn't go (even more) to hell sud= denly, we'll be interviewing [Peter Sagal](3D=) from [Wait Wait Don't Tell Me](3D"). = Aside from the fact that he's a super cool guy, there's a really interesti= ng and bizarre Fark connection to the show going back 20 years now. T= une in to find out what that is. ________________________ We = now return you to your usual Fark NotNewsletter. __________________= ______ Top Comments= > Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from t= he past week Funny: Angry Drunk Bureaucrat = ong> shared information about addition= al tests available in Germany MrBallou wondered if= [a woman had completely thought throug= h a reward she was offering](3D") pkjun had [a lot to teach the rest of us](3D") Jerse= yTim figured out [which team = Tom Brady will play for](=3D" whatsupchuck showed us&nbs= p;[a photo of the ol' home office](3D") ecmoRandomNumbers had a question about [fatality rates of COVID-19 patients based on the type of = treatment required](3D") propasaurus explained [why it was fine for spring breakers to party on= Florida beaches](3D") Gubbo pointed out that [testing an antimalarial drug's effectiveness on = COVID-19 might not take as long as you'd think](3D") Farking Clown= Shoes was confused by [a Far= k headline about smoking possibly playing a role in men's higher COVID-19 i= nfection rates](3D" Smart: ISO15693 pre= dicted [Donald Trump will manage to acc= omplish something no other U.S. president has done](3D"=) Marine1 [way underestimated how long it wou= ld be before this would become a serious argument](3D"=) Circu= sdog320 is [making excellent = use of social distancing time](3D"ht=) luna1580 figured tha= t [really bad times are coming= for Florida](3D") Chariset described [what doomsday preppers and non-preppers might think of e= ach other](3D") ox45tallboy shared a photo of [what one hospital is doing to prepare for an inf= lux of COVID-19 patients](3D") NobleHam showed [one way to encourage social distancing](3D") optikeye [brought up anothe= r pandemic as an example of what can happen](3D"ht=) August11 = g> thought that [prepper is in the eye = of the beholder](3D"https:/=) Gonz summed up [Tom Brady's decision to sign with the Buccaneers](3D") TotalFark Discussion: Note: This section can only be accesse= d by [TotalFarkers](3D") Smart: Dance Part= y had a suggestion for someone who's [still getting paid but considering a temporary delivery job](3D" Funny: meg12279 [wasn't going to let COVID-19 interfere with the most important things](3D" merrillvillain wanted to know more abo= ut [a good spot for photographing = bald eagles](3D"=) Funny: Mitch Taylor's Bro had= [everything you could want in a mate= a> Funny: MissFeasance had a](3D")[complaint about a video of a naked woman with a dead r= at in her mouth running down the street](3D") Politics Funny:= MrBallou found [evidence that a tweet wasn't authentic](3D" Precious Roy's Horse= Dividers asked [an importan= t question about Lou Dobbs going into self-quarantine](=3D" Jack S= abbath showed that Eric Trum= p was right about the stock market arrogantbastich = [didn't think that August11= trong>'s neighbor's job requires a lot of special training](3D") P= ocket Ninja explained that [everything is Barack Obama's fault](3D" Politics Smart: = Butterflew had questions about [the website that Trump said Google is building to fight COVID-1= 9](3D" Tell Me How My Blog Tastes discussed [when the Federal Reserve should cut rates and whe= n it should raise them](3D") Mr. Coffee Nerves suggested&= nbsp;[people who refused social distancing r= ecommendations should be sent out to infect more people](3D") blen= der61 gave [background information= about the U.S. Rep. who told the United Airlines CEO to stuff it](3D"https:/=) Unobtanium looked into [the story behind an election day director who walked off in the middle of = announcing changes to voting locations](3D" Top Contest Entries Some of the top-voted = contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down Photoshops: hail2daking revealed [an unpopular opinion of Christopher Lloyd and= Michael J. Fox](3D") Kick The Chair discovered that&nbs= p;[someone is messing up the past](3D") DarkJohnson showed that [these costars haven't aged a day](3D" Yammering_Splat_Vector got these guys [some amazing c= osmetic surgery](3D=) hail2daking [made some moon rocks](3D" Yammering_Splat_Vector = rong> showed us [what all those people = are doing with hoarded toilet paper](3D"https:/=) Thrakkorzog sh= ared [good news from the Doc](3D"=) noazark proved that [all= 's well that ends well](3D" Yammering_Splat_Vector knew= [what to do with the torch if the Olym= pics are postponed](3D") DarkJohnson found out [what happens if you help the wrong person load = an armchair into a van](3D") Captions: From [Caption the conversation between these two traders](3D"):= em> grokca [gave a warn= ing about a celebrity stalker](=3D" Grumpy Cat discovere= d that [our subjects had become self aw= are](3D"=) From [Caption this under= whelmed emoji](3D"htt=): Pinnacle Point was [inspired to sing about this creation](3D") Weird Hal knew what this = emoji was meant to convey From [Caption this sad guy on a trading floor](3D" Grumpy Cat= figured that [this fellow ju= st wants to do the bare minimum](3D=) DocBubba could tel= l that [this man had chosen poorly](3D"=)From [Caption this sunlit saluta= tion](3D"=): ZAZ found out [what it takes to get someone to perform a modern-day miracle](3D")= > Snubnose revealed [what really happened to Jack](3D" whatsupchuck saw&n= bsp;[a forgetful dancer](3D") Farkt= ography: Farktography Contest No. 776: "[Phoning It In](3D")" ended in a tie between threnody= j's [dewy autumn leaf](3D"=) and&= nbsp;MorningBreath's [Rhode Island sunrise](3D" Farktography is Fark's weekly photography = contest. If you would like to suggest a Farktography theme, please contact&= nbsp;[Elsinore](3D"=). Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy) Another good time on the Quiz, but the 1000 C= lub has been classified as "non-essential" and so remains closed to this we= ek's victor. Still, congratulations to EasilyDistracted wi= th the awesome top score of 1019. Denjiro came in sec= ond with 953, followed by Evildog in third with 842.&= nbsp;sugaryvitamin and Hassan Ben Sobr= g> tied for fourth with 831, and Burns like hellfire = is our fourth place finisher with 828. The hardest question on the H= ard Quiz was over "Project Gesundheit," a tech company's effort to dev= elop a cure for most varieties of the common cold. Only 21% of quiztakers k= new this was actually an undertaking by Amazon, although I think it's = a safe bet that this has kind of moved to the back burner a bit considering= recent developments in infectious diseases. The easiest question on= the Hard Quiz was over which song former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin chose= for her finale after being voted off of "The Masked Singer" while dressed,= as one commenter put it, "in what appeared to be the dead carcass of = Sully from Monsters, Inc." 73% of quiztakers knew that she picked Sir= Mix-A-Lot's "Baby Got Back" for reasons that are still unclear. As intros = to a Presidential Oval Office Address go, I think this one will not be easi= ly forgotten, no matter how hard we try. The hardest question on the= Easy Quiz was over the flavors of Chick-fil-A sauces that you can now purc= hase at select Florida retailers. Only 43% of quiztakers knew that the Poly= nesian Sauce was actually CFA's second most popular behind their signature = sauce. For some reason, that sweetness appeals to people, especially in the= Southwestern U.S. If you prefer the others, Barbecue, Honey Mustard and Ga= rden Herb Ranch are available in bottles at Florida Chick-fil-A locations (= not at retail grocers yet), but lovers of Sweet and Spicy Sriracha and= Zesty Buffalo will have to settle for packets. The easiest question= on the Easy Quiz was about the latest chapter in the lawsuit saga between = Led Zeppelin and Spirit over similarities in their music writing styles, an= epic tale which has lasted longer than your last Zoom meeting with coworke= rs who can't figure out the mute button. 89% of quiztakers knew that it was= "Stairway to Heaven" who Spirit thought was a bit too close to their song = "Taurus." If you've heard the two together, you might say yeah, I can = see some similarity, but Spirit didn't have John Bonham on drums, so their = point is irrelevant to my interests. Congratulations to the winners,= and be sure to check out [this week's Fark Weird News Quiz=](=3D" where you can show off your knowledge of the weirdest news of last we= ek. --------------------------------------------------------------- ([Fark.com](3D"") sent this newsletter emai= l to: {EMAIL}) To stop these emails, go to the Notifications tab of your [MyFark profile](3D"https:=) to change your subscription preferences. Or, [click here to unsubscribe](3D") from newsletter emails, even if your Fark login isn't '{NAME}'. [Click her= e to unsubscribe from ALL Fark emails](3D"). Fark, Inc. PO Box 1713, Versailles KY 40383 = ------------=_1585166196-9114-57146--