Fark NotNewsletter: You can be the one to give Drew his birthday spanking

This is a multi-part message in MIME format... ------------=_1580835152-68861-57347 Content-Type: text/html Content-Disposition: inline Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable [3D"The](3D")= > [3D"Facebook"](3D") [=3D"Twitter"](3D") [3D"Totalfark"](3D") Having trouble reading thi= s email? View it online [here](3D". Comments thread: [ 0810](3D" Unsubscribe links are at the bottom of this message. =20 =20 I didn't ask Drew if it would= be okay to use that as the headline, so please don't tell him about i= t. XOXO, DisseminationMonkey ________= ________________ A message from Drew Curti= s: ________________________ Hope everyone survi= ved Super Bowl weekend. I didn't see any articles about making Super = Bowl Monday a national holiday this year, but I was certainly feeling it Mo= nday morning. We've got a couple of things on deck this = week - first off, I'm hosting a [huge Fark party in Lexingto= n](=3D"!!-To=) this Friday, February 7th starting at 7 p.m. For my birthday, m= y local bar the Chase Brewing Company is going to have six varieties of w00= tstout available with all profits going to the Roswell Foundation for cance= r research. Profits, because Kentucky law says you can't give beer aw= ay (boo). Also in attendance will be Greg Koch, founder of Stone Brewing an= d fellow w00tstout collaborator. Speaking of my birthday= , if you're looking to get me something, either feel free to [kick in a donation to my Empire State Ride across NYC fundraiser](3D")= > and/or [sign up for TotalFark](3D"=)! Sometime this week or ne= xt, we're going to be having a conversation on TotalFark forums about a new= ad unit, and I'm looking forward to your feedback on it. It may end = up being next week because I'm pretty sure I'm going to have a two-day hang= over after this Friday. But we'll see! In this week's [Fark and Schnitt podcast](3D"), = we have on-the-ground updates from inside China on the Corona beer virus, h= ow the Chiefs destroyed Kansas City's mafia 50 years ago, and I recount the= horrors experienced while surviving Dry January, ______________________= __ We now return you to your usual Fark NotNewsletter. _= _______________________ Top Comments Some of the top-voted smartest and funnies= t comments from the past week Funny: flucto = rong> discovered that [a simple adjustm= ent to a car's timing belt can save money on gas](3D"h=) Circusdog32= 0 showed [how dangerous a la= rge boulder the size of a small boulder can be](3D"http=) styckx = ng>made plans to [try out some life hac= ks from the internet](3D"https:=) Mike_LowELL [thanked Kobe Bryant for his legacy](3D") Jack Sabb= ath wanted to know if [the da= y after is too soon](3D" TheChaosPath did [the ol' Fark "R.I.P." meme](3D") beezeltow= n [came down hard on a fertility d= octor who used his own swimmers to impregnate patients](3D"=) gropp= et [will always come through for f= ellow Farkers](3D"=) Circusdog320 did not believe [what a sheriff's office had to say about a ro= ad hazard](3D") markie_farkie shared [one simple trick to increasing your car's gas mileage](3D")= Bonus FarkStaff Pick: akya [wasn't about to pay twice as much for movies just bec= ause they're longer](3D") Smart: Chevello = > was reminded of [an old trick that = trolls pull on internet newbies](3D"https=) davidphogan explai= ned that [when firefighters break windo= ws of cars blocking hydrants to run the hose through them, it's not just to= teach the driver a lesson](3D"=) A phrase in an article caused Shostie to [fall into a bla= ck hole of confusion](3D"=) Morchella was [impressed with a spider's behavior](3D") Cha= rlie Freak discussed [helicop= ter safety features and recommendations](3D" silvervial = was [reconsidering opinions about some= creatures](3D"=) washburn777 pointed out that [an undercover cop encouraged a man to break the = law](3D") tuxq pointed out that [being broke now doesn't necessarily mean you've always been br= oke](3D") I hereby demand that I be given a Fark account = checked the numbers on [the flu and th= e new coronavirus from China](3D=) hubiestubert's [teacher was nearly chosen instead of Christa = McAuliffe to fly on the Challenger](3D") CSB Sunday Morning: = [What's the nicest thing you've ever seen someone do?](3D") Smart: Gulper Eel discovered that [a sweet gesture can come back to you just when you need it](3D" Note: Be sure to [read thr= ough the smart comments](3D"http=). There are some very touching stories in there.= Funny: The Pope of Manwich Village sha= red [a story about Cowboys and Vikings](3D"), = but unfortunately it's about football and not actual cowboys and Vikings CSB [Cool Story, Bro] Sunday Morning is a thread where Farkers share t= rue stories from their own lives based on a weekly topic. If you have a top= ic idea for a CSB Sunday Morning thread, please [submit it](3D" on Satur= day afternoon/evening (if you're posting an intro, you'll want to write it = out first so you can copy and paste it in for the Boobies), or email dugitman. TotalFark Di= scussion: Note: This section can only be accessed by [Total= Farkers](3D" Funny: sarahthustra had th= e perfect answer to the question, "What are= five words that describe you?" Funny: meg12279 = trong> showed that, at least in one case, [merrillvillain was wrong about what other Farkers choose = to put in their notes](3D" Smart: olapbill adv= ised anyone who ends up [on a plane whe= re the passenger seats face each other](3D=) Funny: Wicke= rNipple showed that = Unikitty was right Funny: Beeblebrox = ong> [learned a new word](3D") Funny:= em> oldfarthenry found [the charging cables a submitter was looking for](3D" Funny: craigzy had an idea for [what Fark should do for April Fools' Day](3D" Bonus FarkStaff = Pick, [nominated by Murflette= g>](3D"): Honest Geologist let us know all about&nb= sp;[the big Meat Bundle Mountain](3D") Politics Funny: Circusdog320 shared [proof that John Bolton never heard Donald Trum= p say anything incriminating](3D") scottydoesntknow remi= nded us that [Trump wasn't the only pre= sident to have a Turkey scandal](3D"=) Farking Clown Shoes = > [tried to boost another Farker's self es= teem](3D") MrBallou had [a farewell message for Farkers](3D" ralphjr shar= ed [some fair and balanced reporting on= John Bolton's claims about Trump](3D"=) Politics Smart: markie_farkie predicted [what will happen after the impeachment trial is over](3D" Chari= set pointed out that [while T= rump was paranoid about Barack Obama, he wasn't paying attention to those c= lose to him](3D" GardenWeasel drew conclusions from&nbs= p;[voters Biscuit Tin men= tioned who are fine with Trump being a Russian agent](3D") Odradek= Rex knew [why President Trum= p called the press in during his meeting with Prime Minister Benjamin Netan= yahu](3D"http=) jake_lex speculated on [why Republicans are having difficulty finding candidates to= run for some House seats](3D") Bonus FarkStaff Pick: Carn gave [an example of = a false equivalency](3D=) Top = Contest Entries Some of the top-voted contest entries fro= m last week, listed from highest number of votes down Photoshops= : DarkJohnson wrote an [intro to sex education book](3D" Yammering_Splat_Vect= or wouldn't settle for [your = typical mirror selfie](3D" Yammering_Splat_Vector came = up with [a shortcut to keeping your fis= h fresh](3D"=) vygramul discovered that [this Toblerone bar has nuts](3D") DarkJohnson = captured a photo of the pres= ident in his motorcade DarkJohnson found [a Wookiee driving a strange new hybrid](3D") RedZoneTuba brought [a treat for all the amphibian lovers](3D" DarkJohnson = designed [an awkward clock (clockward?)=](3D"=) RedZoneTuba showed us [a book that maybe isn't supposed to be for children](3D" Kick The Chair fixed [a p= hoto that clearly had been altered to maintain a conspiracy](3D" = Farktography: MorningBreath won Farktography= Contest No. 769: "[That's Sharp](3D"https://w=)" with= [a stunning sunbather](3D") Farkt= ography is Fark's weekly photography contest. If you would like to suggest = a Farktography theme, please contact [Elsinore](3D" ong>. Upcoming Fark&nbs= p;Parties See Farkers up close in their unnatural habitat= s Friday, February 7: [Mega W00tstout tapp= ing/Drew's birthday/fundraiser to fight cancer in Lexington, KY](3D") = If you'd like to plan a Fark Party in your area, please use the&n= bsp;[Fark Party submission form](3D"). Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy) Another great time on the Quiz last week, bu= t it's starting to look like we need a 900 club instead of a 1000. ZAZ took top honors with 941, followed by kittyh= as1000legs in second with 902 and The_Philosopher_Kin= g in third with 900. Megateuthis took fourth= with 883, and scrumpox fills out the five spot with = 881. The hardest question on the Hard Quiz was about the location of= the Cold War-era ghost town of 404. Fittingly, it was Not Found by 82% of = quiztakers, as only 18% caught the article describing the old reactor site = located in the Gobi Desert of Western China. The town's failure was a resul= t of ideological differences between the government of Chairman Mao and the= Soviets, who had agreed to help with the reactor there to create a separat= e nuclear deterrent against what they saw as U.S. domination. = The easiest question on the Hard Quiz was over an odd forecast by the Natio= nal Weather Service in Miami, FL. 94% of quiztakers caught the unusual twee= t warning of falling iguanas. They said Floridians should "watch for them."= Does this mean like meteor showers, where folks set up the lawn chair= s and drink beer in the dark and go "ooooh, a big one!," or does that = mean people should wear protective headgear while walking under trees? They= didn't specify. The hardest question on the Easy Quiz was over what= kind of commemorative Metrocard you could get if you want to take the MTA = in New York. Only 38% of quiztakers knew that it's Patrick Stewart's pierci= ng stair from Star Trek: Picard on the latest design. So yes, it seems that= after the David Bowie card was successful, they've went back to another Br= it. Not enough love for the Americans like the Wu-Tang clan, who got their = own very successful card last year. The easiest question on the Easy= Quiz was over which Kraft Heinz spokes-thing met his doom prior to the Sup= erb Owl. 97% of quiztakers knew it was Planter's Mr. Peanut, with most peop= le who saw the ad wondering who he was or why we should care. Kool-Aid Man = did show up at his funeral on Sunday, though. Honestly, I think their ad co= mpany has no idea what they're doing and just said "Hmmm... Baby Groot... B= aby Yoda...." Congratulations to the winners, and be sure to check o= ut [this week's Fark Weird News Quiz](3D"=). --------------------------------------------------------------- ([Fark.com](3D"") sent this newsletter emai= l to: {EMAIL}) To stop these emails, go to the Notifications tab of your [MyFark profile](3D"https:=) to change your subscription preferences. Or, [click here to unsubscribe](3D") from newsletter emails, even if your Fark login isn't '{NAME}'. [Click her= e to unsubscribe from ALL Fark emails](3D"). Fark, Inc. PO Box 1713, Versailles KY 40383 = ------------=_1580835152-68861-57347--