Fark NotNewsletter: Evil HOAs, Choose Your Own Apocalypse, and taste buds in your pants

This is a multi-part message in MIME format... ------------=_1580240236-64171-57359 Content-Type: text/html Content-Disposition: inline Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable [3D"The](3D")= > [3D"Facebook"](3D") [=3D"Twitter"](3D") [3D"Totalfark"](3D") Having trouble reading thi= s email? View it online [here](3D". Comments thread: [ 3505](3D" Unsubscribe links are at the bottom of this message. =20 =20 ________________________ A message = from Drew Curtis: ____________________= ____ In this week's [Fark and Schnitt podcast](3D"): Ever been in a mid= -century-built home with a random toilet in the basement? Here's why. Also,= how to deal with a good phubbing, and Drew accurately predicts why the dea= th of Mr. Peanut will be a bad idea. ________________________ We now return you to your usual Fark NotNewsletter. ______________= __________ Top Comment= s Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments fr= om the past week Funny: sirrerun summe= d up [a coffee commercial that features= a message of tolerance](3D"=) Farking Clown Shoes [woke up in the wrong house](3D") jtown has learned that it's best to to [work with what you're given](3D" WoolyManwich = submitted a nomination for [the scaries= t villain in a children's movie](=3D" The Pope of Manwich Village = gave advice on [avoiding th= e Wuhan coronavirus](=3D" JinxofSpades was [feeling nostalgic](3D") BafflerMeal = ng> advised someone who [was hoping for= an extra $30,000](3D=) magneticmushroom cast [blame for Terry Jones' death](3D") hubie= stubert looked on the bright side when [a bank called police on a black man when he tried to deposit a = settlement check from a racial discrimination lawsuit](3D" Zero P= oint Scalar Field found [the = perfect guy to testes the theory that one can taste soy sauce by dipping "t= he boys" in it](3D" Smart: Murflette wa= s [rooting for a green White Day on Mar= tin Luther King Jr. Day](3D") cherryl taggart had a pret= ty specific guess for [who was caught o= n video from HOA cameras burglarizing a house](3D"h=) BafflerMeal = strong> advised someone who was hoping= for an extra $30,000 spongeboob noted [how quickly police were able to arrive at the sce= ne of a crime](3D") Creepy Lurker Guy thought that = [a pilot accused of writing racist graffiti = on a bathroom wall made a good decision](3D") (with something else, not the r= acist graffiti) arrogantbastich refused to go along wi= th the submitter's [plan for surviving= the Wuhan coronavirus](3D"http=) dittybopper had [a message for women who can't keep their babies a= nd need options](3D") hubiestubert discussed [Brad Pitt's acting skills](3D") Adolf Ol= iver Nipples analyzed [Tom Br= ady's relationship with the Raiders](3D" 40 degree day = revealed the truth behind [loaded truc= ks bearing signs that say "not responsible for broken windshields"](=3D" CSB Sunday Morning: [When did you first realize you were t= ruly an adult?](=3D") Smart: Gemcee shared a story a= bout [the moment you realize your kids = won't always need you to put out their fires for them](3D"=) Funny:= > Ernest T Bass was apparently [a little late to feeling like an adult](3D" CSB [Cool Sto= ry, Bro] Sunday Morning is a thread where Farkers share true stories from t= heir own lives based on a weekly topic. If you have a topic idea for a CSB = Sunday Morning thread, please submit it on Saturday afternoon/even= ing (if you're posting an intro, you'll want to write it out first so you c= an copy and paste it in for the Boobies), or email [dugitman](3D". TotalFark Discussion: = Note: This section can only be accessed by [TotalFarkers](3D" = Funny: LineNoise was having [a family disagreement about donating to campaigns](3D")Funny: Streetwise Hercules doesn't let technicalities interfere with family traditi= on Funny: Old Man Winter figured out = ;[how varieties of Pooh apply to Fark](3D") Smart: buttercat [showed off a new butter___](3D" Funny: Barry McCockner= [has a preference for a type of v= irus](3D".=) Politics Funny: markie_farkie = wanted to [play with the United States= Space Force logo](3D".=) Garza and the Supermutants was u= nsure about [an article comparing Berni= e Sanders supporters to Donald Trump supporters](3D"=) Farking Clow= n Shoes thought it was possible that [Trump did tweet an anniversary message to his wife](3D" = UltimaCS thought that [Alexan= dra Pelosi, the documentary director daughter of Nancy Pelosi, missed an op= portunity](3D" phalamir cleared up [some terms for types of creeps](3D") Politics Sma= rt: NateAsbestos explained [why it's a bad idea to cancel student loan debt](3D") Speaker2Animals thought it was suspicious that [Alan Dershowitz didn't follow through on a threat](3D")= > raerae1980 brought up another way in which = ;[Joe Biden has helped make things harder fo= r Americans who are struggling financially](3D") scottydoesntknow = asked a question about [Repub= lican senators leaving during the impeachment trial](3D" AliceBTo= klasLives listed [a couple of= things that a rainbow can represent](=3D" Top Contest Entries Some of the top-voted co= ntest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down Photoshops: hail2daking finally showed us&= nbsp;[which king we should be hailing to](3D")= Herb Utsmelz revealed [what's going on in President Trump's head](3D" RedZoneTuba= found [a heck of a bargain= a> Circusdog320 proved](3D"https:=)[it actually wasn't a streetlight](3D" hail2daking = > discovered that [a certain nanny's = "magical" powers were actually alien abilities](3D"https=) RedZoneTuba added [an interesting new show= to the Fox News morning lineup](3D"https://=) Yammering_Splat_Vector = ong> found [a brave volunteer to interc= ept a flying saucer](3D".=) RedZoneTuba showed [world leaders enjoying a little recreation togeth= er](3D") X-Geek found out [it's 8 o'u'clock](3D" Kick The Chair wanted to&n= bsp;[reboot yet another '90s sitcom, but thi= s time with a big twist](3D") Captions: PhotoshopC= razy knew that [these frogs= were putting on a dramatic performance](=3D" Snubnose c= ould tell that [there was an amphibious= emergency](3D"https://=) Farktography: median eminence = trong> won Farktography Contest No. 768: "[Farkitecture 3](3D")" with a [be= autiful big blue bridge](3D" Farktography is Fark's weekly photograph= y contest. If you would like to suggest a Farktography theme, please contac= t [Elsinore](3D"=). Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by = ;ox45tallboy) Another fun time on the Quiz last wee= k, although it seems many folks couldn't quite get moving after the three-d= ay weekend. The 1000 club remains empty again, which is fine as the shag ca= rpeting on the walls is currently being shampooed. Scorewise, beatn= ikmao came out on top with 920, followed by Bea= r151556 in second with 918 and Autoerotic Defenestrat= ion in third with 901. kimwim made fourth wi= th a respectable 886, and Earl Green sneaks into the = top five with 885. The hardest question on the Hard Quiz was over wh= o you'll get fed by at Avenue 27 in North Phoenix, AZ. Only 21% of quiztake= rs knew that the restaurant is located in Barry Goldwater High School, and = is part of the CTE culinary arts program there which teaches kids all aspec= ts of running a restaurant. We've come a long way from my generation, where= high school kids worked at McDonald's. The easiest question on the = Hard Quiz last week was over the World Heritage Site at Machu Picchu. 95% o= f quiztakers knew that you could find the site high in the Andes Mountains = of Peru, where the Incas built it as an estate for one of their emperors, t= hen abandoned the site after Spanish conquest and never bothered telling an= y of the Western invaders about it. I mean, can you blame them? The = hardest question on the Easy Quiz was over which casual dining chain was ge= tting Nestlé's plant-based Awesome Burger. Only 32% of quiztake= rs knew that Ruby Tuesday was hopping onto the trend, hoping maybe someone,= anyone, might remember that they're still around and pop in for some veget= arian chow. Good luck with that. If I'm paying 9 bucks for a burger it had = better have some meat on it. The easiest question on the Easy Quiz w= as over which planet the Cassini spacecraft had sent back its final images = from. 85% of quiztakers knew that the most gorgeous images ever seen of Sat= urn, as well as her rings and moons, were finishing up in post-processing. = RIP little guy, and good work. One final note:62% of quiztakers knew= their Shakespeare, as they got the Final Jeopardy question from the GOAT T= ournament correct. Iago has by far the most speeches of any non-title chara= cter in Shakespearean tragedy. I never liked the guy anyway, and his motive= s still sucked no matter how much time Shakespeare gave him to explain them= . Congratulations to the winners, and be sure to check out [this week's Fark Weird News Quiz](3D")! --------------------------------------------------------------- ([Fark.com](3D"") sent this newsletter emai= l to: {EMAIL}) To stop these emails, go to the Notifications tab of your [MyFark profile](3D"https:=) to change your subscription preferences. Or, [click here to unsubscribe](3D") from newsletter emails, even if your Fark login isn't '{NAME}'. [Click her= e to unsubscribe from ALL Fark emails](3D"). Fark, Inc. PO Box 1713, Versailles KY 40383 = ------------=_1580240236-64171-57359--