Fark NotNewsletter: Holy Farkballs, guess who's 20 Farking years old

This is a multi-part message in MIME format... ------------=_1549994662-46141-59627 Content-Type: text/html Content-Disposition: inline Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable [3D"The](3D")= > [3D"Facebook"](3D") [=3D"Twitter"](3D") [3D"Totalfark"](3D") Having trouble reading thi= s email? View it online [here](3D". Comments thread: [ 8162](3D" Unsubscribe links are at the bottom of this message. =20 =20 ________________________ A message = from Drew Curtis: ____________________= ____ 20 years ago, sometime around this date, I manually coded= the first html page that marked the beginning of Fark. I posted= two links on it. You can still see them in the [Farkives](3D". The s= econd one was "Man fatally mauled by pet cow," which marked what = I thought was the beginning of making Kentucky become famous for being= the weirdest state in the U.S. At that time, I didn't know abou= t Florida. Fark parties started up sometime around mid-2000; th= e earliest ones were to keep me occupied while I was on business trave= l - I had a side-hustle writing medical databases. Friends were= made, Fark grew larger, more friends were made. A few thousand = of you got married, most of those folks had kids. We all grew up= together. I was 26 when Fark started. Last week I turned 46. I've&nb= sp;got a beautiful wife, three kids (15, 12, and 9), a house in Kentucky.&n= bsp; I've tried some things that have worked and some that haven't, but I&n= bsp;don't regret the attempts regardless of the outcome. In some ways= I've grown up a lot, even though I've found that what I thought was a= "real adult" doesn't fit for me, and I'm pretty fine with that a= ctually. I've met tens of thousands of you. Even for folks who= don't read Fark as much lately, so many of you are still in touch wit= h each other that whenever I get a friend request on social media, I c= an tell what five-year range you started reading based on who our mutu= al friends are. I'm grateful for all these connections, even tho= ugh I've been backing away from social media lately. I don't like how = needy the engagement algorithms are becoming - a feeling I don't get w= hen reading Fark, incidentally. A lot of the rest of social media is engine= ered to consume your world, Fark isn't. We're here to be funny and som= etimes smart, and nowadays by complete accident Fark is one of the las= t places on the internet where you might find subject matter you didn't kno= w you'd be interested in. Thank you for spending your time on F= ark. It's been amazing to know you all. Here's to hopefully anot= her 20 years together. I'm not planning on going anywhere. Ten years ago, I wrote up a brief history of Fark, or tried to. = ; I had so much material I only got as far as the end of 2000. This ye= ar I'm happy to announce that I've been writing a History of Fark and = there's so much material, it's turning into a book. It's well ov= er 40,000 words now, which would be a smallish paperback novel by itself - = and I'm only up to the year 2009 so far. As I'm writing this bo= ok, I'm struck by how much the entire ecosystem of the Internet has c= hanged, over and over and over again as it turns out. I'm also d= iscovering that you can see all kinds of hints and foreshadowing for h= ow things turned out 20 years later. Thanks to Fark, I had some cool = and close connections along the way to a lot of what happened. And a l= ot of it's weird. How weird? I'm reminded of something th= at the writers of Silicon Valley said, some of whom are my friends, th= at even though all of the show's subplots are based on real events, so= me of the actual events were so ludicrous that test audiences consider= ed them to be implausibly bad fiction. I've seen more than my fa= ir share of those as well. I'm working toward a summer release. And on that note, yes here comes the sign up for T= otalFark pitch - which, by the way, if you [sign up for Tota= lFark](3D" you will not see sign up for TotalFark messages anymore - b= ecause one of the perks of having TotalFark is not having to be asked to si= gn up for TotalFark! Anyhow, as an added bonus, anyone who signs up f= or a $50 TotalFark account today will get a copy of the Fark 20 book!&= nbsp; As will anyone who renews around this time who drops me a line a= sking me for one - I don't want to penalize longtime subscribers. = ; Same goes if you end up waiting a few days, but seriously just head on&nb= sp;over and sign up. Fark wouldn't be here today without our subscribers, a= nd more on specifically why and how next week because I've taken enough&nbs= p;of your time already. There will be 20t= h anniversary Fark parties! I've got a couple in the works for S= an Francisco and New York City sponsored by local radio stations in bo= th cities. New York in particular might line up well at the end = of July when I am doing a bike ride from Manhattan to Buffalo to raise= money for the Roswell Cancer Institute because there's still no cure = for cancer, but it's closer than it ever has been. There's defin= itely one coming in Boston in early July as well. Let me know if = ;you'd like to host one in your area, I'll make it if I can! Thanks = again for reading. It's been a great ride so far, let's keep going.________________________ We now return you to your usual Fark = NotNewsletter. ________________________ Comment Votes Some of the top-v= oted smartest and funniest comments from the past week Funny:= m> I Have A Bo Burnham GIF For That had a GIF for = [the real Bo Burnham getting an award](3D") IgG4 revealed [a form= er Miss Ukraine's secret](3D" Pocket Ninja lectured us o= n [how incredibly dangerous it is for a= child to walk four miles](3D") Theaetetus was outraged b= y [what astronauts do with their poop= a> Cyberluddite](3D")[backed = up another Farker's opinion](3D" grokca pointed out that= [people have unrealistic expectations = of marriage](3D") doglover showed [how the children of anti-vaxxers are getting vaccinated](3D")= Chemlight Battery described [being unable to get into a prominent university](3D" = I Have A Bo Burnham GIF For That answered [the question Farkers keep asking](3D") turboke = ng>wasn't sure about the idea of [livin= g in a yurt city](3D" Smart: Ambivalence = >weighed in on [Liam Neeson's admission=](3D"https://=) feckingmorons had an idea for [getting anti-vaxxers vaccinated](3D") Brosephus was [worried about getting shot= by cops](3D"=) Random Anonymous Blackmail explained = [what one would think would be obvious](3D")jake_lex thought that [Verizon had some particularly ridiculous commercials](3D" Ogre= Magi suggested [one way of com= bating police being unnecessarily violent](3D=) TheManofPA = g>[summed up the Super Bowl](3D") wejash had some thoughts about [people admitting to racism in their past](3D" Dawnrazor = ng>had a solution for [parents being up= set about which school their kids are supposed to attend](3D"h=) stoli n coke was impressed = by the sellers of tiny houses CSB Sunday Morning: &nbs= p;[Mother Nature's = shenanigans](3D") Smart: noazark was [narrowly missed by disaster](3D") Funny: &n= bsp;ingo shared [anecd= otes about the 1989 Loma Prieta earthquake](3D" CSB [Cool Story, Bro]= Sunday Morning is a thread where Farkers share stories based on a weekly t= opic. If you have a topic idea for a CSB Sunday Morning thread, please = ;[submit it](3D") on Saturday afternoon/evening (if you're posting an intro, y= ou'll want to write it out first so you can copy and paste it in for the Bo= obies), or email [dugitman](3D"https:=). TotalFark Discussion: Note: This section can only be acc= essed by [TotalFarkers](3D"=) Funny: merril= lvillain had a short answer for [a stripper name comprised of "your Taco Bell order plus your biggest reg= ret"](3D" Funny: olapbill [recreated a seductive pose](3D" Smart: Group= on boob job showed a talent f= or woodworking Funny: KangTheMad explained= [who Cardi B is](3D") Funny:= merrillvillain found [something comparable to the Super Bowl](3D" Politics Funny:= optikeye figured that [Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has practice with a certain method of makin= g her point](3D" doyner thought [the grapefruit had been passed](3D" AntiM was&nb= sp;[inspired by one of Donald Trump's tweet= s](3D") MattytheMouse had [a decent point from Q](3D" DissonantEscapist expl= ained [Trump's purported 50% approval r= ating](3D".=) Uranus Megahertz found a reason why [a teacher should've expected sass from another = Farker](3D") Politics Smart: arrogantbastich = ong>had an idea of [why Jacob Wohl thi= nks "liberal women have a certain 'look'"](3D"http=) Chariset = summed up an article from [someone who= had left the Republican Party](=3D" holdmybones believed= that [Trump was accidentally right abo= ut something](3D".=) AdmirableSnackbar argued that [Ocasio-Cortez has this one weird trick for kee= ping opponents off balance](3D") arrogantbastich had some= thoughts about [Trump and the House Intelli= gence Committee](3D".=) Contest = Votes Some of the top-voted contest entries from last wee= k, listed from highest number of votes down Photoshops: = Circusdog320 made some [peppers and sausage](3D" Yammering_Splat_Vector [Munched on a bell pepper](3D") Yammering= _Splat_Vector helped Vladimir= Putin slip into something more comfortable Stephen_Falken brought back [the coolest guys = ever posted on Fark](3D"ht=) RedZoneTuba proved that [even water won't slow this dancer down](3D") RedZoneTuba showed us [who made this trail in the snow](3D" Alligator gave&nb= sp;[a surprise smooch](3D") crispy= pizza [taught us how to draw](3D".=)Don_cos dropped in on [Hank and Peggy Hill](3D" Yammering_Splat_Vector took&= nbsp;[a slow ride through the ice](3D") Farktography: FuLinHyu won Farktography = Contest No. 718: "[For F's Sake](3D"=)" with&= nbsp;[a foggy road](3D") Farktography i= s Fark's weekly photography contest. If you would like to suggest a Farktog= raphy theme, you can contact [Elsinore](3D" or stop= by the [Farktography Forum](3D"). Upcoming Fark Parties See Farkers up close in the= ir unnatural habitats Tuesday, February 26: [Las Vegas Fark and 50th Birthday Party](3D") (please not= e the date has changed) Friday, March 15: [Fort Collins, CO Fark Party](3D") Fark Weird News Quiz Results (brought t= o you by ox45tallboy) &n= bsp; We had a fun time on the quiz again last week, although many pe= ople were out doing outside things now that the weather is above "holy fark= it's cold". On the quiz itself, Hooferatheart barely miss= ed the 1000 club with a 999. So, I'll leave the curtain open and you can wa= tch our private screening of 2001: A Space Oddysey in 8K from= outside the window. Denjiro made second with 943, fo= llowed by coldcuts in third with 927. we= arsmanyhats managed fourth with a very respectable 922, and M-G finishes out the top five with 921. The hardest = question on the Hard Quiz was about which ticker symbol became available on= the Canadian Stock Exchange in Toronto. Only 32% of quiztakers were up on = Canadian legal marijuana investments and knew that Potash Corp. of Saskatch= ewan merged with Agrium, Inc. to form Nutrien Ltd, which I assume makes pou= tine or something. That freed up the symbol POT, which the Canadians decide= d to hold a very polite lottery for, under the condition the winner apologi= zes to the losers. In case you're wondering, [a tiny Vancouver company called W= eekend Unlimited was the winner](3D"), causing its stock to rise by 150%. Now= imagine if they added the word "blockchain" to their name. The easi= est question on the Hard Quiz was about what kind of critters invaded = Point Reyes National Seashore in northern California during the government = shutdown. 91% of quiztakers knew that a rookery of elephant seals (yes, a r= ookery, I looked it up) thought it was a nice beach, so they rushed the gat= e and broke down a fence like it was Woodstock or something, but left the h= umans feeling more like it was the Fyre Festival since officials determined= the beach had to remain closed. I'm guessing they sghut it down because th= ose seals really know how to throw a party, and we humans just couldn't han= dle their kind of debauchery. The hardest question on the Easy= Quiz was over what chicken joint you can go to in the South to get a Cheet= o Chicken Sandwich. Only 56% of quiztakers knew that it was KFC who has par= tnered up with Frito Lay to somehow make fried chicken even more unhealthy = (albeit somewhat more tasty, especially if you're under the influence of so= mething or other). The sandwiches feature not just Cheetos, but a special "= Cheeto Sauce" made by Frito Lay, I'm assuming from Cheeto dust and memories= of a lost childhood. The easiest question on the Easy Quiz was abou= t where you can find the world-famous Lombard Street, which many people arg= ue is the twistiest road in the world, 91% of quiztakers knew that local of= ficials in San Francisco were considering charging tourists $5-10 for the p= rivilege of driving it, and making it by appointment only in order to reduc= e congestion for the local people that actually need to drive it to get to = work and stuff. I mean, it's not like it could possibly be fun, I think it'= s mainly just something you can say you did. I can't imagine having to driv= e it to get to work every day, and it can only get worse with a bunch of to= urists around. If you missed out on last week's quiz, you can catch up on it here. Congratulations to the winners, and we= 'll be doing it all again this week. Fark Headlines of the Week (brought to you by blythe) Welcome back to Headline of the Week! We = had a great time with Headline of the Year 2018 and we're slowly&= nbsp;working our way through December and January Headlines of the Week to = get caught up with this new year! Thanks as always to our amazing su= bmitters and to our TotalFark voters. These are the headlines we love= to share and say "*this* is Fark." Here are a few of our favorites = from cold December, [check out all the Headlines of the Week here](3D"https://=)! Main ["Zombie cyclone" terrorizes Australia, bringing wi= th it half a metre of raiiiiiiiiins](3D"=) Sports [You= can't spell "Cowboys" without 00](3D" Geek [One g= rill, 2,700 cups](3D" Entertainment [Oh, the places= you'll go...Be your name Horton or Grinch or Yertel, or Audrey (missus Dr.= Seuss) Geisel...You're off to Great Places, today is your day...Your husba= nd is waiting. So...You're on your way](3D" Politics [Democrats are excited, VERY excited, as Trump's odds of impeachment surge= . Look at those odds surging. Those turgid, throbbing odds, thrusting and s= urging; surging and ramming, the engorged surging YES OH GOD YES THEY SURGE= SO GOOD](3D") Business [WaPo: "Bitcoin Cash's 180% B= ounce Looks Like a Dead Cat". Pfft, what do they know? DeadCatCoin will be = the next big thing. That'll show 'em](3D" Discussion [There I was, thinking about cooking dinner. My cats were eager for their = food out of a can, and it struck me: I never cook for my cats. Am I strange= ? Should I whip them up a nice tuna salad, or just go with Fancy Feast beca= use they won't complain?](3D") D'awww [Hold me closer= , Tiny Riverdancer](3D" Food [If it's one thing that= humans are really good at, it's making booze from whatever ingredients hap= pen to be lying around](3D" ________________________ Voting fo= r headlines is one of the perks of being a TotalFarker. You can [join TotalFark here](3D"). --------------------------------------------------------------- ([Fark.com](3D"") sent this newsletter emai= l to: {EMAIL}) To stop these emails, go to the Notifications tab of your [MyFark profile](3D"https:=) to change your subscription preferences. Or, [click here to unsubscribe](3D") from newsletter emails, even if your Fark login isn't '{NAME}'. [Click her= e to unsubscribe from ALL Fark emails](3D"). Fark, Inc. 333 West Vine St Suite 210, Lexington KY 40507 = ------------=_1549994662-46141-59627--