Fark NotNewsletter: Shirting all over the place

This is a multi-part message in MIME format... ------------=_1539714264-46349-60395 Content-Type: text/html Content-Disposition: inline Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable [3D"The](3D")= > [3D"Facebook"](3D") [=3D"Twitter"](3D") [3D"Totalfark"](3D") Having trouble reading thi= s email? View it online [here](3D". Comments thread: [ 7137](3D" Unsubscribe links are at the bottom of this message. =20 =20 [Last week](3D=), we offere= d you a chance to get your sweaty hands on a vintage Fark t-shirt. You were= asked to answer an overly-complicated question in exchange for this great = honor, and the winning replies were Big Beef Burrito'= s [well thought-out, hairy selection](3D")= >, The Third Man's appreciation for [a malfunctioning deathtrap](3D"), and Hyperbolic= Hyperbole's ["I actually unde= rstood the question" response](3D"h=). Thanks to everyone who participated and = voted. Winners, please [email Drew](3D"https=) to see what he h= as in your size. XOXO, DisseminationMonkey Special Promotion (brought to you by Drew= g>) So back in May, we ran a [TotalFark signup](3D") drive and selected one lucky new or re-subscribed= TotalFarker for an [interview](3D"htt=) - which was incredibly popular!&n= bsp; So popular we have had people begging for us to do it again. So = let's do it again! Through the end of October, if you sign up for or = renew [TotalFark](3D".=) or [BareFark](3D" subscription= s, we'll throw your name in the hat to possibly be the subject of our next = interview in November! And remember, you can buy subscriptions for others a= s well, so if there's someone you've been curious about, feel free to throw= them a sub and perhaps we'll learn more about them in the near future. = Comment Votes Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week Funny: 433 pointed out that [Elon Musk is only making the water quality in Flint= worse](3D") DayBreakBoys defended a ["Good Day L.A." host's surprise that members of a Canadian= band speak English](3D") SecretAgentWoman shared [Halloween costume plans](3D") NeoCor= tex42 was surprised at how many people [died in a limousine crash](3D" Pocket Ninja = thought of a [good way for people to st= ay safe when a hurricane hits](3D"=) Myk-House of El wrote= [a song in honor of Maisie Williams an= d Sophie Turner getting high together](3D") gopher321 rec= ognized the setting for a [mugshot of = a guy who lost a leg trying to kill his lawnmower-riding son with a chainsa= w](=3D" Zafler paid a com= pliment to a fellow Farker Mugato had [one question about the guy who ran over his chainsa= w-wielding dad with a lawnmower](3D") toraque lamented th= e death of a [Medieval knight re-enacto= r who accidentally impaled himself with his lance](3D"=) Smart:= > doglover had some feelings about [people with nut allergies using airline travel](3D") darthaegis discussed [the = policing of women's attire](3D" Miss5280 shared some ins= ight about [why religious schools might= be better for kids](3D".=) HawgWild gave a [convincing argument in favor of grunge music](3D") Pocket Ninja thought that [the U.S. Navy definitely needs more money](3D" Mike_LowELL = strong>reminded us about [the most im= portant thing to remember when people are affected by a hurricane](=3D" wax_on gave reasons to disbelieve that [network executives regret firing Roseanne Barr](3D") MattytheMouse thought that [resurrecting "Roseanne" was a bad idea](3D" hubiestubert = g>[defended Rose McGowan](3D") Mi= ss5280 was [willing to pay a l= ittle more money for a convenient service](3D"htt=) TotalFark Discussi= on: Note: This section can only be accessed by [TotalFarke= rs](3D" Funny: EggFool was [concerned about another Farker's cough](3D") S= mart: MissFeasance [tr= ied to steal some kid's hoodie](3D" Funny: generalDisdai= n has [the tribute band you've= been waiting for](3D"https://=) Smart: Smock Pot answere= d the question, "[Can you fark someone w= ithout liking them?](3D"https:/=)" Funny: JerseyTim had a qu= estion for [a Farker who didn't get any= sleep](3D".=) Politics Funny: Pinnacle Point = ng>empathized with [a Lyft driver who = was being harassed by some passengers](3D"http=) hobnail thoug= ht that [a Trump-loving mother was miss= ing part of the story](3D"=) UberDave explained [why one Navy veteran doesn't have to fear "radic= al feminists with an axe to grind"](3D") abhorrent1 [recognized the unruly Lyft passengers](3D") ralphjr found the Republ= icans who posed as communists to donate to a Democrat Politi= cs Smart: HawgWild reacted to [Donald Trump praising Robert E. Lee](3D") bloobea= ry [saw Trump's "rule of the m= ob" from a different point of view](3D"=) hubiestubert rep= lied to [Colin Powell's concern about h= ow the world is changing](3D"=) edmo discussed [who ends up being blamed for problems in the U.S.=](3D") snowjack responded to [Melania Trump's claim that she's "the most bullied person in the w= orld"](3D" CSB Sunday Morning: [Sports mis= haps](3D" Smart: The Third Man [nearly started a riot at a basketball game](3D") Fun= ny: gordian [bro= ught the house down with some sweet volleyball moves](3D" CSB [Cool S= tory, Bro] Sunday Morning is a thread where Farkers share stories based on = a weekly topic. If you have a topic idea for a CSB Sunday Morning thread, p= lease [submit it](3D".=) on Saturday afternoon/evening (you'll want to wri= te out your intro first so you can copy and paste it in for the Boobies), o= r email [dugitman](3D"=). Contest Votes Some = of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number= of votes down Photoshops: Alligator fo= und [a familiar face making an appearan= ce in a James Bond film](3D"=) Yammering_Splat_Vector didn= 't let us down with this [Easter egg = from "2001: A Space Odyssey"](=3D" hail2daking found out&= nbsp;[why they call him the "Tin Man"](3D") theDesertHamster set [a high-tech cat trap](3D" hail2daking revealed [King Kong's hidden secret](3D") RedZo= neTuba got some [mechanics t= o work on Fark's airplane](=3D" RedZoneTuba made [a new spread to put on your toast](3D") hail2daking [got your new favor= ite band together](3D"http=) Yammering_Splat_Vector noticed&nb= sp;[some very bad flair](3D") RedZ= oneTuba showed us [why "Angel = Eyes" was also sometimes known as "Bubbles"](=3D" Farktography= >: Farktography Contest No. 701: "[The Low Down](3D" ended in = a tie between FuLinHyu's [cute little rodent friend](3D" and CiliarySpasm= g>'s [view of a statehouse](3D"=) F= arktography is Fark's weekly photography contest. If you would like to sugg= est a Farktography theme, you can contact [Elsinore](3D" ong> or stop by the [Farktography Forum](3D"http://w=). Upcoming Fark Parties See Farkers up= close in their unnatural habitats Sunday, October 21: [Bay Area Pokemon Go October Commu= nity Day Fark gathering in San Francisco](3D") Wednesday, February 27= : [Las Vegas Fark and 50th Birthday P= arty](3D") Fark Weird News Qui= z Results (brought to you by ox45tallboy)&= nbsp; We had a fun time playing with t= he free pencils on the group W bench last quiz, and I think we came to the = conclusion that no one likes to eat food that's looking at them. The averag= e scores were way up, but only one Farker reigns supreme in the 1000 club t= his time around. bratface is on top with 1018, follow= ed by A_fuente in second with 956 and le= ftofcool right behind in third with 953. FrancoFile= strong> takes fourth with 949, and Civchic finishes o= ff the top 5 with 931. The hardest question on the Hard Quiz was ove= r which Disney Princess was going to be re-animated following backlash to h= er appearance in the trailer for Wreck It Ralph 2. Only 43% o= f quiztakers knew that when you only have one black princess in your entire= catalog, it's probably not a good idea to lighten her skin and hair and ch= ange her facial features. It's bad enough that Hollywood insists on changin= g Asian and Persian characters to white actors, but it's just dumb to "whit= ewash" a black character. Thankfully, they're fixing it. The easiest= question on the Hard Quiz was over what "mundane" task newly-minted royal = Meghan Markle was caught doing for herself. 80% of quiztakers knew that she= had been seen closing her own car door, which probably wasn't in the origi= nal Instructions for English Royalty from circa 300 C.E. However, I'm sure = some Royal Protocol Expert somewhere has successfully argued that the passa= ge on carriages was meant to denote all forms of wheeled conveyance, and th= erefore she has committed some serious breach of etiquette and must apologi= ze to the Queen. The hardest question on the Easy Quiz was ove= r which company had moved the cheese above the meat in their latest cheeseb= urger emoji, 39% of quiztakers knew that Google had finally decided to let = the cheese melt above the burger, while 61% of quiztakers don't really care= , and they wouldn't mind an actual cheeseburger right about now, no matter = which way the cheese is. The easiest question on the Easy Quiz= was over the impending renaming of iconic breakfast chain Dunkin' Donuts. = 91% of quiztakers knew that they were dropping the "Donuts" in the name, bu= t not off the menu. 9% of quiztakers agreed with me that "Double D's" would= be a pretty cool name, but that's why I write quizzes and not marketing fo= r multi-million dollar companies. Also, they save on printing ink, so there= 's that. If you missed the quiz,[you can find it he= re](3D". Congrats to the winners, and we'll be doing it again this we= ek. Fark Headlines of the We= ek (brought to you by blythe) Many thank= s as always to all our amazing submitters, and huge thanks to all our Total= Fark voters! Main and Geek were our favorite tabs this week -= take some time and go back and look! We're always impressed that su= bmitters can make Politics funny and we've got quite a few great headlines&= nbsp;this week. That being said, the political news can get rough and= there's a lot of room for competition in Politics if you're look= ing for a place to stretch your comedic wordplay and creativity!  = ; We love Headline of the Week because it lets us showcase the best = of the site for the week: the headlines that have that extra lev= el of creativity, sideways thinking, and humor that we all love. = The kinds of headlines you can share with your parents, your kids, your fr= iends, and your pets, and say *this* is Fark. Here are a few o= f our favorites! [Check out the rest of the Fark Headlines of the Week here! Main:](3D"https=)[Pizza driver calls 911 after seeing kidn= apped woman mouth "Help me" in Waldo, Wisconsin. No word on how long rescue= was delayed while the police tried to figure out where that was](3D"http=) [Listen. Eight-year-old girls walking in ponds and finding sword= s is no basis for a system of archaeology](3D") Sports: [Tom Wilson goes full Tom Wilson. Never go full Tom Wilson](3D") Ge= ek: [Spacesuits protect microbes destined for space. Reall= y, really tiny spacesuits](3D".=) [Watching a friend get eaten= could help animals learn to stay alive. Hmm, I'm not sure how that works e= xactly, but I do happen to have some extra friends. I guess I could do my p= art for animal education. Where do I sign up?](3D" Entertainment: = [Why do we still love the Predator? Well, let's just ask him = ... wait, no, it just ripped that dude's spine out. Ok, how about we let hi= m chill and just read this article instead?](3D") Politics: [Brett Kavanaugh takes his case to the people... Who subscribe to th= e Wall Street Journal... Which is behind a paywall](3D") [As= God as my witness, I never thought Turkey inflation could soar](3D" = Business: [Little Caesars Arena in Detroit will no longer = use paper tickets. Download download](3D"=) Discussion: ["I live in Colorado, and we USED to have a 420 mile marker on our N/S hi= ghway. Long story short, people kept stealing it, so now we have 419.99 ins= tead"](3D") D'awww: [Hey, free bear cubs](=3D" F= ood: [Enjoy a Harpoon Dunkin' Coffee Porter. Solves that= age old problem when despair drives you to drink early but you can't nap u= ntil the afternoon. Pairs with a jelly donut](3D"=) ___________________= _____ Voting for headlines is one of the perks of being a Tota= lFarker. You can [join TotalFark here](3D"=). --------------------------------------------------------------- ([Fark.com](3D"") sent this newsletter emai= l to: {EMAIL}) To stop these emails, go to the Notifications tab of your [MyFark profile](3D"https:=) to change your subscription preferences. Or, [click here to unsubscribe](3D") from newsletter emails, even if your Fark login isn't '{NAME}'. [Click her= e to unsubscribe from ALL Fark emails](3D"). Fark, Inc. 333 West Vine St Suite 210, Lexington KY 40507 = ------------=_1539714264-46349-60395--