Fark NotNewsletter: Let's play Halloween article BINGO! 👻

This is a multi-part message in MIME format... ------------=_1538501110-34288-60488 Content-Type: text/html Content-Disposition: inline Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable [3D"The](3D")= > [3D"Facebook"](3D") [=3D"Twitter"](3D") [3D"Totalfark"](3D") Having trouble reading thi= s email? View it online [here](3D". Comments thread: [ 1893](3D" Unsubscribe links are at the bottom of this message. =20 =20 October just started, and there are already ar= ticles coming out about people [calling the police](=3D") because th= ey think some Halloween decorations might be real and that someone is in tr= ouble or killed. We should probably have BINGO cards set up for the usual H= alloween stories. Squares could include: [thing that it's of= fensive to have a sexy costume of](3D"), actual dead person mistaken for Hall= oween decoration for a while, warnings to not accidentally hand out your ma= rijuana edibles to trick-or-treaters, someone complains that neighbor's dec= orations are offensive or too scary, school releases list of prohibited cos= tumes that includes thing that people are angry to see included, warnings t= hat people are trying to kill your children with tainted treats, warni= ngs that people are intentionally wasting good drugs by giving them to your= children, mugshots of people arrested in costumes, idiots wearing blackfac= e costumes, college students wearing offensive group costumes, inappropriat= e children's costume for sale, [and fr= og](=3D". Comment Votes Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from= the past week Funny: nekom shared part= of a [letter home from a Civil War sol= dier who had to fight dinosaurs](3D".=) relaxitsjustme expl= ained why [police had to tase an 87-yea= r-old woman who was cutting dandelions](3D"=) Brawndo [got a new tattoo](3D") Marcus Aurelius= has [this one weird trick for= saving money on Halloween candy](3D"https://w=) GooberMcFly lauded= police officers for [saving an elderly= woman's life](3D"ht=) Archie Goodwin censured [a sex offender](3D") invictus2 wa= s confused by [additional proof that di= nosaurs were around during the U.S. Civil War](3D"https://w=) Gordon Bennett= commented on [what a sex offe= nder has admitted to](3D"=) Martian_Astronomer taught us what really happened during th= e Civil War atlantic_lotion shared [a sexual fantasy that breaks the law](3D") dr= ayno76 [learned a couple of lessons= during sex play](3D".=) Smart: edmo respon= ded to [a warning about public restroom= baby changing tables](3D"=) Xai found [a few problems with police tasing an 87-year-old woman](3D")= > raerae1980 doesn't approve of [archaeologying wrong](3D") Spectral-K sh= ared a sad story about [growing up with= parents who treat you like you're not good enough](3D"=) Warthog needed a little more clarification on [which sailor was being discussed](3D" Pocket Ninja = ng>discussed [people who express concer= n about false rape accusations](3D"=) Lershac [judged a cop by his looks... and because he tased = an 87-year-old woman who was cutting dandelions and didn't follow his instr= uctions because she didn't speak English](3D") scottydoesntknow = strong>figured that [Megyn Kelly overes= timates her contributions](3D"htt=) Deece thought that there'= s [one thing Bill Cosby might want to s= top lecturing people about](3D") puffy999 reacted to news= that [former Cracked writer John Chees= e faced a day of reckoning](3D".=) TotalFark Discussion: Not= e: This section can only be accessed by [TotalFarkers](3D" Funny: merrillvillain gave advice on [putting a sick pet fish out of its misery](3D") = Smart: weddingsinger [shared some good news](3D" Funny: feckingmorons = rong>[warmed TotalFarkers up to an idea for = a tattoo](3D") Smart: GhostOfAChance showed off&= nbsp;[some cool custom shoes](3D") Funn= y: sarahthustra helpfully [identified a mystery bug](3D" Politics Funny: Intel154 figured out [how a new Eagle Scout ended up with a letter from Donald Trump discussing = Barbara Bush](3D" Shostie found that [Brett Kavanaugh somehow had technology from the future wh= en he was in high school](3D") Destructor issued a plea&n= bsp;[when world leaders at the United Nation= s General Assembly laughed at Trump](3D") impaler showed&= nbsp;[a discussion at the White House about = Kavanaugh](3D") scottydoesntknow gave [Kavanaugh-like advice](3D") Politics Smart:= hubiestubert listed a lot of [red flags that should have disqualified Kavanaugh already](3D")bloobeary [spied a Russia= n invasion](3D=) somedude210 had an idea of [why Republicans were in such a hurry to confirm Kav= anaugh last week](3D") wejash found a reason why [confirming Kavanaugh won't cost Republicans th= e support of Republican women](3D") GardenWeasel had a qu= estion about [Supreme Court Justice Ant= hony Kennedy's concern over "the death and decline of democracy"](3D"=) Contest Votes So= me of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest num= ber of votes down Photoshops: Alligator = >had [a few questions for a Farker's ki= d](3D"=) Vortex Dweller put the boy [in a real cockpit](3D") RedZoneTuba showe= d us [how Trump traveled to college](3D"=)= markie_farkie found out [what happens when you let a little kid fly the plane](3D" = Alligator had [a coworker with= a questionable appearance](3D"=) verchad discovered that&= nbsp;[this boy can fly without a plane](3D")Yammering_Splat_Vector [sat around on dat molecule](3D" RedZoneTuba proved that= [eating on a plane can be a bit messy Yammering_Splat_Vector found a](3D")[time-warped room where celebrities read the news](3D") zeon [sent this boy on a very= long trip](3D"https://=) Farktography: Clockwork Kumquat won Farktography Contest No. 699: "[Sweet Things= a>" with](3D" worried-looking Daim](3D"=) Farktography is Fark's weekly photography contest. If you would like t= o suggest a Farktography theme, you can contact [Elsinore= a>](3D" or stop by the [Farktography Forum](3D"h=). Upcoming Fark Parties See Farke= rs up close in their unnatural habitats Wednesday, February 27= : [Las Vegas Fark and 50th Birthday P= arty](3D") Special Promotion= span> (brought to you by Drew) So back in May= , we ran a [TotalFark signup](3D"=) drive and selected one lucky new or= re-subscribed TotalFarker for an [interview](3D") - which was incredi= bly popular! So popular we have had people begging for us to do it ag= ain. So let's do it again! Through the end of October, if you s= ign up for or renew [TotalFark](3D"htt=) or [BareFark= a> subscriptions, we'll throw your name in the hat to possibly be the subje= ct of our next interview in November! And remember, you can buy subscriptio= ns for others as well, so if there's someone you've been curious about, fee= l free to throw them a sub and perhaps we'll learn more about them in the n= ear future. Fark Weird News = Quiz Results (brought t= o you by ox45tallboy) Well it seems that although no one actually watched the Emmys this y= ear, we all caught up on the results Monday morning. This made the Quiz som= ewhat easier this week, with no less than six Farkers crowded into the norm= ally cozy 1000 club. M-G reigns supreme with 1038, fo= llowed by richh99 in second with 1031 and Bruce Campbell vs Army of Farkness](3D" in third with 1025. jaycharms was right behind in fourth with 1024, followed by&nb= sp;the Mole of Production in fifth with 1015, and we'll al= so give a shout-out to BeotchPudding for a very close= sixth place with 1014. The hardest question on the Hard Quiz was ab= out where you can now buy the "meal replacement" Soylent. Only 32% of quizt= akers knew it was hitting the market in the UK, who apparently no longer ne= ed to worry about EU food regulations. I think if you're naming your food a= fter a substance that was made from dead people, it shouldn't taste like gr= itty algae. Maybe chicken, but definitely not gritty algae. The easi= est question on the Easy Quiz was over which video game was being cit= ed the most in UK divorce proceedings. No less than 82% of quiztakers knew = that it's no longer 2008, so people are no longer ignoring their spouses ov= er World of Warcraft and instead have moved on to Fortnite. The episodic co= ntent seems to have a bigger draw than Netflix and Chill with the spouse no= wadays. The hardest question on the Easy Quiz was over which billion= aire is investing in a company called Neuralink which promises a direct com= puter interface with the human brain. Only 37% of quiztakers knew that Elon= Musk was looking for a new business opportunity, perhaps due to the impend= ing SEC case that has now ousted him from Tesla. I'm somewhat relieved it w= asn't Jeff Bezos, because the last thing we need is people walking around h= aving seemingly one-sided conversations with Alexa. The easiest ques= tion on the Easy Quiz came from the Emmys. 79% of quiztakers knew that it w= as Henry Winkler who finally got his first Emmy, 42 years after being nomin= ated for the first time for his role as "The Fonz" (He was nominated twice = more for "Happy Days" and three additional times for other work, but this w= as his first win). For the record, Danny DeVito took home his first Emmy 37= years ago in 1981 for Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy or Variety = or Music Series for his role of Louie in "Taxi". He has not been nominated = for an Emmy since 2004. Congrats again to the winners this week. If = you missed the quiz,[you can catch up by clicking here](3D"https://=). = ; Fark Headlines of the Week= (brought to you by blythe) Thanks to al= l our fantastic submitters and thanks to our TotalFark voters! We love Headlines of the Week because it lets us showcase the clever, uni= que, sideways-thinking, and damn funny headlines that we get to enjoy all w= eek. The kinds of headlines you can share with your spouse, your co-w= orkers, and the people at the bar or coffee shop next to you, and say = "*this* is Fark". Here are a few of our favorites, check out the [Headline= s of the Week for September 9 - September 15](3D") and [Headlines of the= Week for September 16 - September 22](3D") for all the headlines chosen the = last two weeks! Take an extra look at Food and D'awww for the week of= 9/16 to 9/22 - thanks submitters for making these tabs funny! Headlines of The Week for Sun 2018-09-09 to Sat 2018-09-15 Ma= in: [Man discovers new kind of rock that glows under = black light. Geologists speculate that the rock is composed of Grateful Dea= d posters and old hotel bedspreads](3D".=) Sports: "Welcome to Wahlburgers, how can I help you.... Yes, I know who= Nomar Garciaparra is...No, I didn't make out with Derek Jeter...Would you = like fries with that? " Geek: [I w= as told there would be no wine](3D" Entertainment:[Pay no attention to the Jennifer Garner behind the curtain](3D")= Politics: [ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOO= TB--wait, no, sorry. Culture War. Are you ready for a Culture War](3D" [GOP bringing in the smartest, most articulate Republican presi= dent of the 21st century to aid in midterm elections](3D") [= Victims in alternate timeline speak out against the atrocities of President= Clinton, Hillary Clinton](3D" Business: [MGM decided it would sue the 1000+ survivors of the 2017 mass-shooting i= ncident as sort of a reverse class-action, and they'd now appreciate it if = those people would identify themselves](3D") Discussion:= ng> [Are you one of the millions of Americans who suffer from = premature inoculation?](3D") D'awww: [Ro= cket corgi awaaaaaaaaaaay](3D" Food: [M= cDonald's stores in South Florida are testing McD's international menu item= s that have sold well abroad, such as Grand McExtreme Bacon Burger, BBQ McS= haker Fries, McSpicy Chicken, and the Dutch Stroopwafel McFlurry which is n= ot a sex practice](3D" Headlines of The Week for Sun 2018= -09-16 to Sat 2018-09-22 Main: [Girl in good c= ondition after being freed from washing machine. She is reported to be dizz= y and missing one sock](3D" Sports: [NF= L player says there's nothing to do in Buffalo. Well, there is one thing](3D" > Geek: Does this fat make me look Ca= mbrian? Entertainment: [It belongs= in a museum](3D" Politics: [American v= oters want the anger to stop, but they just can't stop BEING SO ANGRY. Mayb= e tell them anger has glutens?](3D" Business: [Coca-Cola is eyeing the cannabis market. It's the real thing, man= a> Discussion:](3D")[Do you think Van Halen= 's opening act ever thought to ask for all the brown M&Ms Van Halen ins= isted be picked out of theirs?](3D" D'awww: [Eighty-seven teams from across the nation are competing to see who is= top dog at the National Police Dog Trials. None of them will fall for your= fake throw](3D") Food: [🍑= 382;🍍🍅🥒➡🗑](3D" _______________= _________ Voting for headlines is one of the perks of being a = TotalFarker. 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