Fark NotNewsletter: CamAnal adventures

This is a multi-part message in MIME format... ------------=_1522173981-4092-62321 Content-Type: text/html Content-Disposition: inline Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable [3D"The](3D")= > [3D"Facebook"](3D") [=3D"Twitter"](3D") [3D"Totalfark"](3D") Having trouble reading thi= s email? View it online [here](3D". Comments thread: [ 48](3D" Unsubscribe links are at the bottom of this message. =20 =20 I don't know about you, but if I'd known Cambr= idge Analytica was mining my Facebook data, I'd have done a lot of things t= o screw with them. I'd have posted Tony the Tiger/Captain Crunch slashfic a= nd about a thousand videos of furries wrestling in Miracle Whip. Instead, C= amAnal was able to see that I commented on photos of my uncle's ferret (not= a euphemism) and spent most of 2007 trying to sell my "Battlestar Galactic= a" spec script where Admiral Adama and President Roslin get stuck in an ele= vator and use their time to plan a surprise party for Colonel Tigh. &nbs= p; Comment Mentions= pan> Cambridge Analytica - 630 CamAnal - 57 DO NOT CONGR= ATULATE - 68 March for Our Lives - 194 60 Minutes - 231 = Comment Votes &= nbsp; Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past= week Funny: Sliding Carp had an = idea for a [safe place for the Chinese space = station to crash down](3D".=) wademh offered a [solution for labial fusion](3D") Farkspeare = trong>looked on [the bright side of an airlin= e returning only a boot and a bikini top from your luggage](3D".=) D= erp Du Jour took a guess at [the Aus= tin bomber's name](3D" Super Chronic knew [how to handle a pit bull on a rampage in a school](3D") iron de havilland witnessed [a shocking sight while driving](3D" vygramul found some= [information about the Austin bombling suspe= ct](3D") detonator [denied = all responsibility](3D" Facts_are_for_losers shared [Daft Punk's new album](3D") Tanqueray had [a plan for Facebook's post-Cambr= idge Analytica comeback](3D"=) Walker voiced [a concern about the new Mr. Rogers postage stamp](3D") &= nbsp; Smart: lennavan disagreed with [John Kelly's characterization of the U.S. military=](3D") Sneakernets discussed the idea that [clear backpacks are the solution to school shootings](3D")Dead for Tax Reasons pointed out that [the family of the Austin bomber does not know what "normal" = is](3D") DarnoKonrad had a [radio station recommendation](3D" Wretschko made predic= tions about [Trump's statements about the Aus= tin bomber](3D"=) serpent_sky wanted to have [an experiment in how U.S. courts work](3D") ox45= tallboy discussed the [current mind= set of police officers](=3D" Fingerware Error reacted to = [warrants granted for information on all mobi= le devices in an area](3D") AverageAmericanGuy [didn't think the Austin bomber was mentally ill](3D") AdmirableSnackbar thought [police are being trained to handle things the wrong way](3D" TotalFark Discussion: Note: This section can only be accessed by= [TotalFarkers](3D") Funny: D= eece had a [plan to end bullying](3D"https://=)= Funny: Earguy made a prediction based on [a uvula story](3D") Funny: Lla= maGirl thought that [a girth thread = failed to deliver](3D=) Funny: Kouta figured out= [why a Farker made a mess at the urinal](3D")Funny: IvyLady knew what it's like to [love someone who doesn't love you back](3D") = CSB Sunday Morning: [Stories from science class](3D"=) Sma= rt: 433 had a very kin= d chemistry teacher Funny: ox45tallboy had= [a nutty chemistry professor](3D") CSB [Cool Story, Bro] Sunday Morning is a thread where Farkers share stor= ies based on a weekly topic. If you would like to suggest a topic for a CSB= Sunday Morning thread, please email [dugitman= ng>](3D". Politics Funny: I Have A Bo Burnh= am GIF For That [did not appreciate= a comparison](3D"htt=) Fingerware Error knew [the evil reason for teaching kids Arabic numbers](3D") fastibartslart lamented [how co= nsequences sneak up on you](3D" Eddie Adams from Torrance = g>found [another alarming question that Donal= d Trump wants answered](3D"=) Miss5280 figured out [what happened when Tomi Lahren stuck a gun in her y= oga pants](3D") Politics Smart: Ambivalence = was [fed up with predictions about R= obert Mueller](3D"=) enry pointed out that [it hasn't just been Democrats investigating Trump](3D") Marcus Aurelius thought that [Trump doth protest too much](3D" Nied [felt vindicated](3D") FatherChaos didn't remember Trump's speeches the way Trump remem= bers them Co= ntest Votes Some of the top-voted contest entries f= rom last week, listed from highest number of votes down Ph= otoshops: PainInTheASP [obscured some dangling tits](3D" Don_cos showed us= [how Tony Montana gets deliveries](3D") Yammering_Splat_Vector [gave th= e Fark squirrel some tits](3D" RedZoneTuba gave us [the fight we've all been waiting for](3D") wickedfish [found the mean girl= a> RedZoneTuba helped](3D"https=)[La= dy Liberty show off her fungus](3D" Yammering_Splat_Vector = ng>[finished renovating this house](3D") ElectronChaser found [a crabb= y flower](3D" Svatch did some [catalog shopping](3D" Herb Utsmelz [put this boxy man in an uncomfortable spot](3D") Farktography: Farktography Contest No. 672: "[Angels=](3D" ended in a tie between bobug's [praying ape](3D" and Queen Mab's [sleeping cherub](3D") Farktography is Far= k's weekly photography contest. If you would like to suggest a Farktography= theme, you can contact [Elsinore](=3D" or stop by th= e [Farktography Forum](3D"). Fark Weird News Quiz Results (brought to you by ox45tallboy) &n= bsp; Last week's quiz was one of our most po= pular in several years, with well over 5000 people taking part. Unfortunate= ly, no one hit the 1000 club. In first place was kevin= atilusawith 941, followed by Keyser_Soze_Death wi= th 938. Tied for third were edmo and i.r.id10t= rong>, each with 936. elpresidenteALO's 927 was good enoug= h for fourth, and finishing out the top five was Seussie w= ith 926. The hardest question on the Hard Quiz was over what a= couple of bungling burglars left cooking on the stove in order to cover th= e evidence of their break-in of a former boyfriend's house. Only 39% of qui= ztakers knew that the go-to flame accelerant of Florida Man is spaghetti sa= uce. Hey, it's Florida. What can you say? I know I've burned plenty of spag= hetti sauce in my day, and I'm not even from Florida. Th= e easiest question on the Hard Quiz was over which Disney Princess single-h= andedly freed a Boston Police wagon from a snowdrift. 85% of quiztakers kne= w that a Boston drag queen would be sensible enough to dress as Elsa, it be= ing a snowstorm and all. Insert your own "Let It Go" joke here, or just con= sider the fact he did wearing heels. The hardest question on t= he Easy Quiz was over which major sport is the first to sponsor an E-Tourna= ment of its officially-licensed video game. Only 47% of quiztakers knew tha= t it was the NHL, that bastion of new technology, who would be paying out c= ash, merchandise, and tickets to winners of this year's EA Sports NHL '18 t= ourney. No word if the glowing blue puck option will be available.  = ; The easiest question on the Easy Quiz was over which radio giant had d= eclared bankruptcy. 85% of quiztakers knew that iHeartMedia had been sucked= dry by vampire capitalist company Bain Capital (the same folks who bled bo= th Kaybee Toys and now Toys R Us into bankruptcy.) Personally, looking at w= hat Clear Channel (IHeartMedia's previous name) did to independent radio in= the '90s and '00s, I think it couldn't have happened to a more deserving c= ompany. Congratulations to the winners, and if you misse= d the quiz last week, you can find the [last week's Fark Weird New= s Quiz is right here](3D". [This week's Fark Weird News Quiz is rig= ht here](3D"ht=). Far= k Headlines of the Week = (brought to you by ox45tallboy) We had a grea= t crop of headlines this week; some categories made it very hard to choose.= If you're looking to increase your chances of having your submission chose= n, be sure to check out our [submitting tips](3D"=) page for some ideas o= n what we look for in headlines. Also, we get the fewest submissions on wee= kends, so headlines submitted on Saturday and Sunday, especially in the ear= ly morning hours, stand a better-than-average chance of being selected. = Here are a few of our favorites from last week: [Game not working? Blow in the cartridge=](3D") [Brother an= d sister were 'jacking it together, and family reunions will now be more di= fficult](3D"htt=) [Pre= gnant tourist goes wading, gives birth in Red Sea. Well, yeah, it would be](=3D" [Meghan Mark= le to receive first wax job prior to Harry wedding](3D"http=) = [Mormon Bishop accused of misusing missionary position](3D") &n= bsp; [You'd think at a fancy NBA = arena they'd serve Miracle Whip](3D"=) [Newer Blood Thinners Don't Raise Bleeding Risk. DO NOT= COAGULATE](3D" James Comey weighs film and TV offers for his memoirs. Finally a movie abo= ut an FBI director that won't need staff from both the men's and women's wa= rdrobe departments [Conservatives see Pope Francis as a threat. Maybe they should light= en up](3D" [Res= taurant owner fires employee for refusing to go vegan, won't even meat them= halfway](=3D" You can find the rest of the [Far= k Headlines of the Week right here](3D". ______________________= __ Voting for headlines is one of the perks of being a T= otalFarker. You can [join TotalFark here](3D"https://=). --------------------------------------------------------------- ([Fark.com](3D"") sent this newsletter emai= l to: {EMAIL}) To stop these emails, go to the Notifications tab of your [MyFark profile](3D"https:=) to change your subscription preferences. Or, [click here to unsubscribe](3D") from newsletter emails, even if your Fark login isn't '{NAME}'. [Click her= e to unsubscribe from ALL Fark emails](3D"). Fark, Inc. 333 West Vine St Suite 210, Lexington KY 40507 = ------------=_1522173981-4092-62321--