Fark NotNewsletter: Net neutrality is yet another reason to not be seen talking to Drew

This is a multi-part message in MIME format... ------------=_1512419052-88059-64040 Content-Type: text/html Content-Disposition: inline Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable [3D"The](3D") [3D"Facebook"](3D") [=3D"Twitter"](3D") [3D"Totalfark"](3D") Having trouble reading thi= s email? View it online [here](3D". Comments thread: [](3D" Unsubscribe links are at the bottom of this message. =20 =20 ________________________ A mes= sage from Drew Curtis: ________________________ Net neutrality is about to be gutted next week. Definitel= y contact your respective political folks and let them know you're not in f= avor of this. The easiest way to do this is to check out Countable's = writeup on the subject and click "Take Action" - this will contact FCC head= Ajit Pai with one click. Check out [= untable.us/articles/17 13 -countable-explains-net-neutrality= pan>](3D") for more info. Rather than rehash Countable's = excellent summary of the problem, I thought I'd share my early experiences = dealing with net neutrality. One of the things I find i= nteresting about the subject is that it's politically partisan at all. &nbs= p;Republicans are supposed to be against it, Democrats are supposed to be f= or it. When Fark first started back in 1999, I owned a = local dial-up ISP in Frankfort Kentucky - in fact this is the reason Fark e= xists at all, because we had available web hosting which was rare-ish at th= e time. I was involved in lobbying at the state level for net neutral= ity at the time because it was clear the telcos were going to use their mar= ket power to wipe out local ISPs - which they eventually did. The tel= cos had already started politicizing the concept, but since the Democrats w= ere in power at the federal level, they dropped all their lobbying efforts = on them instead of the Republicans. As a result, I spent a lot of tim= e talking to state-level Republicans who were staunchly in favor of net neu= trality. It was an interesting example of how lobbying dollars can ch= ange any politician's mind on any issue. At one point i= n early 2000, Bellsouth was attempting to get a bill passed that would dere= gulate state authority over them in all sorts of ways. However, this = gave us small ISPs a bill we could work with. After weeks of conversa= tions with Republicans, we managed to convince them to insert language into= the bill that would prevent Bellsouth from offering preferential wholesale= pricing to its Bellsouth.net dial-up ISP subsidiary. Which interesti= ngly they claimed they weren't doing anyhow, and regardless of that, at som= e point near the top of the corporate hierarchy all this money converged an= yhow. So we didn't expect much of a response from them when the bill = was amended. The following day I made a few calls to the Repub= lican representatives who had helped us. No response. A few day= s later, I went up to the legislative offices to visit previously welcoming= representatives, and no one would see me. Finally I managed to run i= nto one of them in a hallway, he pulled me aside into his office, closed th= e door quickly, and said "I can't be seen talking to you." Apparently, the Rep told me in a hushed voice, the day after the amendme= nt was attached to the bill, Bellsouth rolled a literal busload of lobbyist= s up to the state capitol, including one former Governor, and ran a full co= urt press on every legislator they could get in touch with. Unsurpris= ingly, the amendment was soon removed, but they went further than that - I = don't know what language the lobbyists used but they put the fear of god in= to the entire legislature to the point where they couldn't be seen talking = to us at all. A few months later, Bellsouth rolled out = its wholesale DSL pricing, and not surprisingly, the only company capable o= f signing a contract at the lowest possible level was its own Bellsouth.net= subsidiary. I tell this story because the cable companies and= telcos have said that they have no intention of violating net neutrality, = yet they've spent billions of dollars trying to gut these same rules.  = ;It's a bald-faced lie - they have every intention of using market power to= shape the Internet. So definitely contact Ajit Pai via the Co= untable link above - it's one click and won't take that long. ___= _____________________ We now return you to your usual Fark= NotNewsletter. ________________________ &= nbsp; Comment Mentions The number of comments these words were mentioned in on Fark and= TotalFark in the past week. Note: This does not mean they were the = most-used words Michael Flynn - 1862 Matt Lauer - 581 Ga= rrison Keillor - 199 Banana - 241 Comment Votes Some of the top-= voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week Fu= nny: doyner had a [nickname for Garrison Keillor](3D" Scorpitron is reduced to a th= in red paste spotted the problem wi= th Thanos in the new Avengers movie Prank Call of Cthulhu = strong>shared [the news from Lake Wobegon](3D"=)= dwelling noticed the [mo= st surprising part of Matt Lauer's firing](3D" Sum Dum Gai = ng>identified some [mystery airplane food](3D"https://w=)= markie_farkie predicted what will happen [after all incidences of sexual misconduct become public= a> SkylineRecords had a term for](3D")[a guy posing with a hand grenade with the pin pulled out](3D" PlaidJaguar didn't understand a [complaint about the new Avengers trailer](3D" scottydoesntknow= knew [why a note was hidden in a Je= sus statue's behind](3D"=) Markoff_Cheney chided another F= arker's [lack of understanding of workplace s= exual harassment](3D"=) Smart: FlashHarry = trong>replied to someone who asked what the = hell was happening themindiswatching thought that Republicans have a reason for wanting to rais= e the deficit Mrs.Sharpier thought that [more people should pay for what happened with Matt Laue= r](3D") Walker wanted to know [why there are different penalties for sexual misconduct](3D" GRCooper argued in favor of [unive= rsal basic income](3D" pastramithemosterotic was confuse= d by something that [keeps getting men into t= rouble](3D"https://=) clodcomplex designed a [congratulatory card to celebrate good news](3D" Kubo = made [an ornithological greeting car= d](3D"=) Witchyman explained [why Matt Lauer is ashamed](3D" vwarb discussed the ide= a that [millennials are "killing" things](3D") CSB Sunday Morning: [Adventures in shopping](3D" Smart: Vansthing shared a story about [the first time buying Christmas gifts for the family](3D")Funny: MBK learned [the hazards of jewelry shopping with a sibling](3D" CSB [Coo= l Story, Bro] Sunday Morning is a thread where Farkers share stories based = on a weekly topic. If you would like to suggest a topic for a CSB Sunday Mo= rning thread, please email [dugitman](3D"h=). Politics Funny: ArgusRun's reactio= n to [Michael Flynn's guilty plea](3D"=) on= December 1st went viral because it was spectacular nekom = ng>provided [damning evidence of a War on Chr= istmas](3D"=) Mr. Coffee Nerves had a novel suggestion for= [dealing with James O'Keefe](3D") n= aughtyrev suggested a solution for a guy who doesn't want to be kn= own as [the Nazi sympathizer next door](3D") LarryDan43 showed us [the d= ish of the day](3D" Politics Smart: Mr. Cof= fee Nerves had a novel suggestion for [dealing with James O'Keefe](3D" Fingerware Error gave= the reason behind [unhinged attacks on Donal= d Trump](3D"https://w=) BizarreMan explained [the tax bill's negative effects on the poor](3D" Bith Se= t Me Up described [the hand that mil= lennials have been dealt](3D"h=) El_Perro thought that ther= e was something to learn from [Project Veri= tas trying to fool Washington Post with a fake rape victim](=3D" Contest Votes = Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from= highest number of votes down Photoshops: = RedZoneTuba boldly went where no ta= ttoo has gone before verchad found out that [Popeye isn't just a sailor man](3D") RedZo= neTuba discovered that [Popeye has f= allen on hard times](=3D" RedZoneTuba found a clue about = [Richard Simmons' secret past](3D") = ADHD Librarian added a new employee to [a Fark classic](3D" Tom G showed [a bike trick either gone very wrong or very right](3D") Thrakkorzog [helped Budweiser g= et its flavor](3D"ht=) Iggie sent [a special visitor to the White House](3D" Don_cos = showed [how Fark's science division lost its = funding](3D") FarkingIceHole showed that [women can perform more tasks than men can](3D") Farktography: Farktography Contest No. 656: "[Dream a Li= ttle Dream](3D" had Farktographers use the "Deep Dream Generator" on their = photos. It ended in a five-way tie between [D_PaulAngel](3D" 3D" [CiliarySpasm](3D"), [Tom G](3D") and [Queen Mab](3D"). Farktography is Fark's weekly photography contest. If you would like to su= ggest a Farktography theme, you can contact [Elsinore](3D" trong> or stop by the [Farktography Forum](3D"http:/=). = Upcoming Fark Parties = See Farkers up close in their unnatural habitats Saturday,= December 9th: [L.A. Fark Party](3D"=) Fark Weird News Quiz Results (brought to you by ox45tallboy) &nbs= p; We had only one person crack the 1000 barrier this week. Drun= kenGator sits alone atop the heap with 1033. Denjiro= ng> makes second place with 978, and sticksjr hits third w= ith 949. Rounding out the top 5 are HighwayBill in fourth = with 938 and bingethinker just behind in fifth with 937. The hardest question on this week's Hard Quiz was over what kin= d of critter got loose and wandered around a small town near Toledo, Ohio. = Only 29% of quiztakers knew that "Scooby" was a camel. Understandable, sinc= e Toledo isn't quite in a desert area and Scooby is a silly name for a came= l. The easiest question on this week's quiz was over what comp= any had a data breach it did not disclose to people. 90% of quiztakers knew= that it was Uber who decided to try to bribe the hackers rather than simpl= y disclose the hack and take the fallout. You know, at some point, our pers= onal information is going to have to become pretty much worthless since eve= ryone already has it, right? The hardest question on the Easy = Quiz was over what vegetable Campbell's blamed for a drop in profits. 56% o= f quiztakers have been to grocery store lately and seen the price of carrot= s. To Campbell's credit, they kept their prices level and did not adjust th= eir recipes. If it were up to me, I'd just get rid of the annoying orange l= umpy things that don't really add to any soup other than Vegetable Beef. The easiest question on the Easy Quiz was about what infamous ou= tlaw showed up in an old picture found at a flea market alongside famous Wi= ld West sheriff Pat Garrett. 93% of quiztakers knew it was Billy the Kid in= the photo. Garrett would later gun down poor Billy while serving as sherif= f of Lincoln County, New Mexico, which goes to show you that you should be = careful who you're photographed with. If you'd like to take a = shot at this week's quiz, you can take the Fark Weird News Quiz right here=. Fark Headl= ines of the Week (brought to you by Blythe) = Voting for the Fark Headlines of the Year begins on TotalFark tom= orrow! The "year" runs from December 2016 through November 2017. [S= ign up for TotalFark](3D" so you can vote. Thanks submitters fo= r so many awesome headlines this week and thanks to our TotalFark voters fo= r voting up the best! We love all our submissions! To make it t= o Headline of the Week they have to be funny, creative, look at the article= in a new amazing way, make us laugh while giving us context why we should = care - the headlines that you can show to your spouse, your kids, your pare= nts, your co-workers, and the person at the bar next to you and say *this* = is Fark. For the NotNewsletter we pulled out a few of o= ur favorites from this week - check out the [Headlines of the Week](3D") for *all* o= f the very best! MAIN - this tab is back on top again this wee= k, consistently funny and clever. Take an extra look at the epic[top headline](3D") of the week, and an amazing more subtle one we a= lmost overlooked - [10 amazing reaso= ns why big tech should subsidize real journalism. You won't believe what ha= ppens next](3D"http=), and a Fark standby that gets great mileage out of of a CNN = article [What's New Yorker for "Hey, ya'll, hold my beer"?= a> SPORTS - thanks for the laughs in the sports tab, we took t= he top seven this week! GEEK - as always, the geek tab is funn= y and smart! We took the top nine - we especially liked = [TL;DR](3D")= rong>for a four-line Slashdot article on readers voting without readin= g the articles. Nicely played. ENTERTAINMENT - lot= s of fun, subtle humor in the entertainment tab this week - some weeks we h= ave trouble making entertainment funny, but this week was a lot of fun and = funny! POLITICS - this tab was back to being really funny this= week, and still keeping us informed! Check out the top twelve! &n= bsp; BUSINESS - we're really enjoying the business tab, take a look at H= eadline of the Week for the top four this week. Our personal favorite that = you might have missed - [Lo= ng story short: Synopsys upgraded](3D=) DISCUSSION - great week = for the discussion tab, live discussions on sports, tv, politics, and more,= and more general discussions from John Wick-themed Christmas gifts, 40-yea= r-old tattoos, and the tipping point for not be phased by strangeness. &nbs= p;For HotW the headlines have to be good headlines *and* funny, and we had = quite a few this week! The best six - three of the multi-sentence / m= ulti-question format, three of the usual one-line format - are in Headline = of the Week. ________________________ &n= bsp; Voting for headlines is one of the perks of being a TotalFarker. Yo= u can [join TotalFark here](3D").](3D".=) --------------------------------------------------------------- ([Fark.com](3D"") sent this newsletter email= to: {EMAIL}) To stop these emails, go to the Notifications tab of your [MyFark profile](3D"http:/=) to change your subscription preferences. 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