Fark NotNewsletter: Politics and Religion

This is a multi-part message in MIME format... ------------=_1718826187-50872-11255 Content-Type: text/html Content-Disposition: inline Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable [3D"The](3D")= > [3D"Totalfark"](3D") Having trouble reading thi= s email? View it online [here](3D". Comments thread: [(3D" Unsubscribe links are at the bottom of this message. =20 =20 ________________________ A message= from Drew Curtis: ________________________ He= y everyone hope your week's been well. It's hot outside. How = do I know? Because that's the most prolific story of the week. = It's been hot in the south west since before last week, but now that the he= at has reached the East Coast, here come all the stories. It's hot!&n= bsp; Here's how to survive in the heat, just in case you forgot from last y= ear and the year before that. Drink lots of water, stay inside, move = to Montana where apparently they just had a blizzard. The usual. = ; Tune in next week for "There Will Be Traffic on the 4th of July." This week, it's [the Fark News Livestream](3D"https=)= Thursday 4pm - with me, Christine, and Rebecca Watson. Dill's on sol= o dad duty this week, Lucky is still out doing stuff and things. We'v= e got coal-powered Russian subs, a really bizarre coup-coup plot in Germany= , a possible revolutionary earthquake detection technique, and foul-mouthed= parrots are back in the news cycle again. Also, it's hot! _______= _________________ End Drew transmission = ________________________ Fa= rking Tip Photoshops close the standard 2 days (or thereabou= ts) after being greened... but they're open a while beforehand. Meaning you can probably still vote on those 5-day-old posts. Top Interactions Some o= f the best interactions from the past week. Do note: this takes pri= ority over being placed in "top comments." - [jbc](3D")= and [MrBallou](3D"https:=) found a way to turn 'Krogering'= into a euphemism. Top Com= ments Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments fr= om the past week. If your post isn't here, assume that NotNewsle= tterMonkey couldn't think of a tagline. (The [Smartest](3D" and [Funniest](3D" for the past month a= re found elsewhere.) Funny: - Jake Havec= hek['s old skateboarding buddy seems like a cool Baptist.](3D"=) = - maxandgrinch[ah yes, 'fireplace.' The 'place where = fire was.' Yes.](3D" - Pocket Ninja[noticed the o= ne intact part of this house.](3D") - pounddawg[re= layed the words of someone with a silly viewpoint on the '[whatever] male' = categorization system.](3D") - I Ate Shergar[has a= photo of a real Gamma Guy.](3D") - eKonk[: "2. Whe= n you think about it, deep down inside, aren't all of us just trying to bog= art our way into the freaking? Isn't that what life really is all about?"= a> - Mock26](3D")[mocked how this article was created.=](3D" Smart: - thorpe[suggests t= hese off-the-grid campers should start worrying about accidentally drinking= their own sewage.](3D") - scottydoesntknow[explai= ned the issue with this dumb legal play.](3D") - Ivo Shando= r[knows the real meaning of the 'alpha' in 'alpha male.= ' ;-)](3D"=) - Aar1012[mentioned a method to fake d= rinking alcohol.](3D" - emtwo[: has an interesti= ng outlook on life and word games.](3D") - robertus= >[: "It's early yet, but this may just be the Dystopian Phrase of the Day" - robodog](3D")[knows how to stop Need For Speed s= henanigans.](3D" [= Politics](3D=) Politics Funny: -&nbs= p;NewportBarGuy[asked for a translation into the standard = military language.](=3D" fortheloveof [obliged.](3D" -&nb= sp;Badmoodman[spotted an oddity with the "Blacks for Tru= mp" co-chairs. At least they both have 'black' in their last names?](=3D" (Sp= otted by [Diogenes](3D"=)) - cretinbob= ng>[found a post proposing a Trump airline.](3D") NewportBarGuy= ng> [visualized what they think will happen.](3D") - Pocket = Ninja[: "YOU HAVE BEEN PWNED BY WATER."](3D"=) - Thi= s Is Bold Text[laughs at the thought of opening state-specific sto= ck exchanges.](3D"https=) Politics Smart: - prop= asaurus[wonders why we haven't reused this proposed system for vot= er registration yet.](3D".=) - markie_farkie[has an = optimistic timeline of TFG's legal future.](3D") - Skarekro= ugh[remembers the hope people once had for the TFG administration.=](3D"=) - fortheloveof[has a rule-of-thumb for voti= ng, based on a military viewpoint.](3D" - Martian_Astronom= er[shared a Mickey Mouse metaphor about Christianity.](3D".=) [CSB](3D"=) S= unday Morning theme - "[Taking music lessons](3D" This week, Far= kers were challenged to share tales from when they took music lessons. [Funny](3D")= : - ms_lara_croft[could play The Rolling S= tones on the accordion in elementary school.](3D" - Mambo = Bananapatch[stopped at Wonderwall.](3D"https://=) - Groupon= boob job[now knows why their mother pushed piano lessons so hard = on them.](3D"=) - GrizzledVeteran[found their pia= no during Covid.](3D") - Vansthing['s mom can shred= , 'cause she knows the fundamentals by heart.](3D") [Smart](3D"): -&nb= sp;Cafe Threads[turned a childhood activity into a family = tradition.](=3D" - Hal5423[started with the pian= o, but found their professional calling in the clarinet.](3D" - chewd[got on stage and sucked at it, but it was still great.=](3D"https://=) - The Pope of Manwich Village[thought they = could take on a new instrument with no practice.](3D") Top Contest Entries Some of the t= op-voted [contest](3D"=) entries = from last week, sorted by how likely they are to still be open. Go send in = your own submissions, they're fun even if you don't win! [Photoshops](3D")= ng>: Since there's a lot of these, everybody (and every thread) ge= ts one and only one. - Octafrye[got the Dude's = support on reaching for the moon.](3D") - Stephen_Falken= trong>[wants to believe in hovering streetlights.](3D") - S= ubsequentDamage[got a hold on a Predator's gun.](3D"http=) - Thoaar[saw a tree upgrade from dogs to humans.](3D"https:/=) -&nb= sp;RedZoneTuba[Maine, "Where the men are lonely, and the = moose are nervous."](=3D" - Yammering_Splat_Vector= [visited the site of the fart campfire. Man, their saddles are gonna be b= lazin' after this one.](3D") - Large Marge sent me= [revealed this boat to be a lure for unsuspecting sailors.](3D") -&nbs= p;p51d007[drew 'Hot 4 Teacher' on the whiteboard.](3D"ht=) = - EvaDewerdiscovered the Vuvuzela Bakery. = - Resident Muslim[painted a self-portrait.](3D" -= thealgorerhythm[improved Summer Wheatley](3D" ([this girl](3D")). - whatsupchuck[smoked the fancy beer-blunt.](3D"=) - Driver[knows just how effective those 'no skateboarding' si= gns are.](3D"https:=) - west.la.lawyer[is under an assau= lt by the coordinated hand-eyes.](3D") - James_Corn= >[knows who's in charge.](3D") - samsquatch[disco= vered Clark Kent's shed skin.](3D") - Noj Grebellak= >[found the dog that pooped out those sculptures.](3D") - = Bumcheese[showed this announcer an old-timey play by play of the g= ame.](3D"=) - bathbone[returned the flowers to the = wild.](3D" - Mock26[witnessed the Barbie submarin= e.](3D" - asstamassta[leapt into tragedy.](3D" = [Ca= ptions](3D"=): "[Caption these persnickety pic= kers](=3D")" ([image](3D".=)) - RedZoneTuba[: "Well, OK. I g= uess I can afford a pot to piss in."](3D") - WyDave [fi= nally found a Moscow Mule cup that's their size.](3D") "[C= aption this rehearsal direction](3D")" ([image](3D" - RedZoneTuba= [sees the required attire as a way to scam money out of the perf= ormers.](3D"=) - Driver [just wants those two to get off = the stage of the Yogi Bear show.](3D" - dionysusaur [jo= ked about 'directing' looking a bit like 'mansplaining'.](3D") [Farktogr= aphy theme:](3D") "[Rust Buckets](=3D")" This week, Farkers = were challenged to show us the beauty in rusty things. - = gorrck[visited the wreck of the Peter Iredale.](3D"=) - EvaDewer[shared a car from Old Car City.](3D"https:=) - MorningBreath[discovered an old one-eyed car that probably nee= ds dentures.](3D"ht=) - Elsinore[saw Mars in this rus= t.](3D" - kyuzokai[encountered an ancient fire hy= drant.](3D" [Upcoming Fark Parties](3D"http=) I= t's easy to plan for a Fark Party - you're effectively saying that "I'm goi= ng to be here at this time, come hang out." [Submit one!](3D" [Shakespeare in Delaware Park Opening Nigh= t Reception. Buffalo, New York. June 20th, 5:30PM](3D=) (Tomorrow= rong>!) [NYS Craft Brewer's Festiva= l - Canalside Buffalo, June 22, 2-6PM](3D") (In 3 days!) We're still planning the OCT. 12TH, 25th Anniver= sary Fark Party (Lexington KY)! Thread TBA. Fark Headlines of the Week A se= lection of some of the top headlines from last week. [Dozens of hikers ill after trips = to waterfalls near Grand Canyon. Sounds like they should have stuck to the = rivers and lakes they're used to](3D") [Obama erection reaches fu= ll height](3D") [Investigation underway after ship carrying taconite collides with und= erwater object in Lake Superior, mostly because taco nite is usually on Tue= sday](3D"https:=) [Judge holds Young Thug's attorney in contempt of cour= t for...refusing to divulge how he learned that the judge had an ex-parte m= eeting with a sworn-in witness and the prosecution](3D"=) [Russian anti-sub destroyer, the Admiral Le= vchenko, successfully destroys a ship. Notice I did not say "destroys ANOTH= ER ship"](3D") [Today is Yarn Bombing Day, a day to rem= ember those lost to the terroristic acts of the villainous MacraMayhem](3D"https:/=) [Missouri to execute man exonerated by DNA evidence because spe= ed is more important than accuracy in these things](3D"=) [98 year-old vetera= n donates liver. 48 year-old liver wonders if it can donate Subby](3D") [Man dies in hot tub electrocution= at Mexico beach resort, thwarting his attempt to go back in time and kill = Hitler](3D") [Probably best not to mess with this guy, word on t= he street is that he's violent and well connec](3D"https://w=) Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you b= y ox45tallboy) Another fun time on the Quiz this week, = where we learned that people in the Middle Ages really loved a good fa= rt joke. On the Quiz itself, abmoraz gets a ticket into th= e 1000 club with a score of 1024, followed by TheMothership= trong> in second with 927 and mrfu32 right behind in = third with 926. Denjiro made fourth with 923, and&nbs= p;The Third Man rounds out the top five with 855. The hardest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about a contractor = for the North Carolina Department of Transportation who decided to get peop= le's attention on their temporary electric sign. Only 31% of quiztakers kne= w someone had changed the sign to read "F***ING STAY ALERT", which likely l= ed to half the drivers who saw it get out their cell phones to post a pic t= o social media, thus having the opposite effect. The easiest = question on last week's Hard Quiz was about Jerry West. 84% of people knew = he was considered one of the most iconic figures of the NBA of all time, se= eing success as a player, scout, coach, executive, and consultant. That's a= lso his silhouette seen in the NBA logo that's been used since 1969. W= est holds the record for most free throws made in one season with 840 - and= he set it in 1965-66 when the NBA played only 80 games in a season rather = than the 82 played today. The hardest question on last week's= extra extra Easy Quiz was about which native app the iPad was finally gett= ing, having never had it as part of the iPad version of iOS before. Only 68= % of quiztakers knew that Tim Apple had finally given the go-ahead for user= s to be able to do some basic math on their tablets and added the Calculato= r app. This is why I'm glad Microsoft has essentially left the tablet marke= t, as I'm pretty sure they would add an AI assistant to do your math proble= m and record exactly what you were multiplying and why. The e= asiest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about falafel. 94% of quiztake= rs knew the dish was deep-fried balls of seasoned chickpeas that are great = for dunking in any number of sauces like tahini and tzatziki, For some reas= on, some people seem to prefer hummus as a falafel dip, which I find redund= ant. If you missed out last week, now's a great time to [catch up on the Fark Weird= News Quiz](3D") now that you know a few of the answers. Congratulations once= again to the winners, and we'll do it all again on Friday. --------------------------------------------------------------- ([Fark.com](3D"") sent this newsletter emai= l to: {EMAIL}) To stop these emails, go to the Notifications tab of your [MyFark profile](3D"https:=) to change your subscription preferences. Or, [click here to unsubscribe](3D") f= rom newsletter emails, even if your Fark login isn't '{NAME}'. [Click here to unsubscribe from ALL Fark emails](3D"). Fark, Inc. 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