Fark NotNewsletter: Breaking Spring

This is a multi-part message in MIME format... ------------=_1711574053-45450-13934 Content-Type: text/html Content-Disposition: inline Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable [3D"The](3D")= > [3D"Totalfark"](3D") Having trouble reading thi= s email? View it online [here](3D". Comments thread: [(3D" Unsubscribe links are at the bottom of this message. =20 =20 ________________________ A message= from Drew Curtis: _______________________= _ Hey everyone hope your week's been well. The kids h= ave spring break next week and this year we're going absolutely nowhere.&nb= sp; I mean we'll probably get out on a hike or a bike ride or two if the fo= recast holds, but we have no plans to travel anywhere. For whatever r= eason, having everyone home during the week throws me back to the pandemic,= during which they were home for two straight years. It's kind of nic= e having them around, especially since everyone will be in college soon.&nb= sp; On the other hand, I have to make twice as many trips to the grocery st= ore - teenagers sure can eat. Thursday 4pm it's the [Fark News Livestream](3D") with Lucky, myself - oh, and Rebecc= a Watson is back. Dill's got a prior engagement at an indoor water pa= rk in rural Indiana, I think his daughter is on spring break this week.&nbs= p; Either that or he just wanted to go to a water park. Christine is = out traveling for a wedding I think. Anyhow we called out to Rebecca = to see if she was available and turns out she was! Bonus: there's an = outside chance Dallan might pop in too assuming his actual real job doesn't= need him for an hour. I've got three weeks worth of materia= l stockpile and it's going to be very weird. We're going to have to d= ip into politics a little because things have moved into bizarro land again= . I suspect this will keep happening as we approach November. ________________________ End Drew tran= smission ________________________ Top Interactions Some of the best interactions f= rom the past week. Do note: this takes priority over being placed i= n "top comments." - [cretinbob](3D" asked why p= eople care what this random person is doing. Farkers responded. - [jake_lex](3D") and co. shared what they used to like about Tw= itter. - [Far= kers in](3D"=)This Thread[shared their experiences with bidets.](3D" Top Comments Some of the= top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week. If your po= st isn't here, assume that NotNewsletterMonkey couldn't th= ink of a tagline. (The [Smartest](3D"ht=) and [Funniest](3D"http=) for the past month are found elsewhere.) Funn= y: - [Another bit of proof that the old internet is still alive= here:](3D"=)Ambitwistor[unearthed an ancient gif of P.Diddy= calling Björk.](3D" - Znuh[spotted a Fark lo= okalike.](3D") - TorpedoOrca[knows why the ISIS no= tification didn't make it to Putin's ears.](3D" - Excelsior[knows where the excrement will go, if you lock the bathrooms.](3D"=)- Jroo[reminded](=3D" f a bobcat fact](3D"). Smart: - olorin604= trong>[wonders what the 9/11 conspiracy theorists will think about this bri= dge.](3D") - Excelsior[put into perspective just how= much money was tossed into the Xiatter.](3D" - Father_Jack[illustrated the danger of raiding a gun collector's house.](3D"=) = - grokca[noticed the one actual effect of this stup= id law.](=3D" - Pocket Ninja[reminds us that, no, = suicidal people don't always seem suicidal.](3D" - foo monke= y[survived an ingrown pubic hair.](3D"=) - mybluema= ke[wishes they were back at the retired engineer dive bar.](3D".=) - leeksfromchichis[: "War's over, drugs won..."](3D" mofa['s friend found a medicinal use for marijua= na for his best friend.](=3D" - edmo[shared an idea = that'd really mess with property tax assessors.](3D") [Politics](3D" Politics Funny: - punyrobot[knows exactl= y how much of his buildings TFG actually owns.](3D") Politics Sma= rt: - JeffSon069[wants the GOP to complete th= e speaker trifecta.](3D" - BizarreMan[understands w= hy TFG's property is unusable as collateral.](3D") - damagedd= ude[noticed one mafia lesson a certain someone should've remembere= d.](3D"=) - neofonz[spotted just how long this sudden= retirement will leave Wisconsin down a representative.](3D" - Mentat[: "I'm starting to think [the USA's] entire intelligence = community should just rename itself "Cassandra"."](3D"=) Monkey's Pick I felt these posts were exceptionally fun= ny or smart, even though they didn't get many votes. Warning: Unsorted, = may contain politics. Funny: - Xcott= ng>[: "I see that the mind control drugs made them forget to outlaw the mind= control drugs."](3D") - Gorden Bennett[guessed at w= hy](3D")Valter[can't seem to poop at home.](=3D" - = Kalyco Jack[do it.](3D"=) Smart: - usahole[: "To do this 'town savior' thing successfully you'v= e got to have actual townspeople on your side."](3D"https=) - Creep= y Lurker Guy[remembers how safe SWAT raids were conducted.](3D"https:/=) = - Creepy Lurker Guy[knows where to find a cheap radio= jammer.](3D" - HighOnCraic[uncovered an ancient = "how-to" handbook for the GOP.](3D" [CSB](3D" Morning theme - "[The treasure you found at the secondhand = store](3D")" This week, Farkers were challenged to share cool st= uff they found at secondhand stores. [Funny:](3D") -&nb= sp;mercator_psi[set into motion the events leading to the = song "Raspberry Beret."](=3D" - Mr. Fuzzypaws[found = a real-life TACOSAURUS REX! YEAHHHHHHHH!](3D") - I'm an excel= lent driver[almost didn't recognize what a record is.](3D"https://=) -&nbs= p;thealgorerhythmstarted a band. - = WordsnCollision[Instructions Unclear: guess.](3D"http=) = [Smart](3D"): - [The painting of](3D" 9['s parents' old boat painting went on a journey.](3D"=) - = Phil McKraken[found an ancient fan.](=3D" - poconojoe[was a beneficiary of lifetime headphone warranty.](3D"https://w=)- gonegirl: "Now it's my big gay wall clock."= - iambichop[ensured these piano books made their = way to someone who wanted them.](3D" Top Contest Entries Some of the top-voted [contest](3D" entries from last week. A= s always, everybody gets one - and they're sorted by how likely they are to= still be open. [Photoshops](3D" - Yammering_Sp= lat_Vector[reenacted the Last Supper in their backyard.](3D"https://w=) -&n= bsp;Thoaar[knows the best bathroom.](3D"h=) - = SubsequentDamage[dropped a bomb in "Phaaart" magazine.](3D"htt=) -&nb= sp;Bumcheese[reimagined the painting Cameron (Ferris Buell= er) admired.](3D=) - RedZoneTuba[knows the next ra= lly location.](3D") - GoodDoctorB[gave this batsman= a book of his own.](3D") - EvaDewer[menaced this ba= sketball player.](3D") - Octafrye[is not impressed.=](3D") - Mr. Shabooboo[needs to watch out for that t= iger.](3D" - samsquatch[can't decide on which lyric= s to use.](3D" - kabloink[slipped.](3D" - gameshowhost[knows what they're running from.](3D"=) - = ;Terrapin Bound[knows which road goes on forever.](=3D" -= Nick el Asssaw windswept hair. - Yammering_Splat_Vector's redshirts can't seem to figure out t= he newfangled holographic display. - I_Am_Weasel= g>[found these two in the deserts of Tatooine.](3D") - retrop= hil[... I don't.](3D"=) - FirstDennis[found t= he perfect mount for their He-Man figurine.](3D") [Captions](3D" this Easter Bonnet parade](3D")" ([image](3D"=)) - = Blipvert [saw a human sacrifice.](3D"=) - Cache [mi= ssed the Rose Parade.](3D") "Caption this festive photo" (= [image=](=3D")) - BizarreMan [remembers the time Sean Spicer was t= he White House Easter Bunny.](3D" - Heamer [overreacted t= o a request for silence.](3D") "[C= aption this poolside party](3D")" ([image](3D")) - RedZon= eTuba [didn't forget about Jonathan Livingston Seagull](3D"=) (or his = [autobiography](3D").) - Albert911emt [knows exactly when to drop the bombs.](3D=) = "[Caption this face-to-face meeting=](3D")" ([image](3D"=)) - RedZoneTuba [was denied = the traditional dog greeting.](3D") - Subtonic [didn't get= peanut butter.](3D") "[Caption this [religious] cheerleading squ= ad](3D=)" ([image](3D")) - Barnhawk72 [cheered on the revival of= Christ. I think.](3D" - Unobtanium [possesses a differ= ent kind of spirit.](3D") [Farktography theme:](3D" "[Sta= tuesque](3D")" This week, Farkers were challenged to show us sculptures an= d statues of all kinds. - bikkurikun[visited a gia= nt Buddha.](3D") - Lovesandwich[discovered a forest = Ozymandias.](3D" - kittyhas1000legs[encountered a b= ear statue in a black and white world.](3D") - Warthog= g>[visited the Netherlands, finding their statues.](3D") [= Upcoming Fark Parties](3D" It's easy to plan for a Fark P= arty - you're effectively saying that "I'm going to be here at this time, c= ome hang out." [Submit one!](3D"=) = [Monday, April 8, 2024, Total eclipse of the Sun Fark Party at Noon.](3D")= > We're ~2 weeks out! NOTE: Venue changed! We're meeting at [a = swingset on the golf course in Delaware Park](3D"). Yes. Fark Headlines of the Week A se= lection of some of the top headlines from last week. [Multibill= ionaire can't secure $454,000,000 appeal bond in fraud case](3D") [Paralysed patient plays chess online with his thoughts via brain chip rat= her than the more conventional butt plug](3D") [Heron shocked by recent eBay= purchase, plans to leave negative feedback](3D") [Port-au-Prince has basically devo= lved into an urban hellscape where machete-wielding militias fight to prote= ct their neighborhoods against rampaging gangs and only the strongest will = rule in the end. So why aren't Libertarians flocking there?](3D") [Young drivers with ap= ps are coming, they're learnin' on their own. This bummer with engines humm= ing, more dead in Ohio](3D") Veterans find they've been formally = reprimanded for crimes they didn't commit, weren't told about, and weren't = around for. No word on whether you can hire them if you have a problem, if = no one else can help, and if you can find them [London po= lice arrest man for crossbow attacks, showing the dangers of high-strung pe= ople with quarrels](3D") [Now, I ask you, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, = does this look like the face of someone who would set a porch on fire?](=3D") ["Guerr= illa yarn bombing" decorates arboretum, raises new fear of further strikes = by the evil Macramayhem](3D"=) [Well that's conv= enient](3D") [Dyck pic belongs to cunning Stunt](3D"https://w=) [Home Depot to bring back 12-foot skeleton an= d other spooky friends just in time for Halloween. "We're excited to share = that Skelly will be back this Halloween season along with a new companion a= nd friends." In other news, it's March](3D") Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by = ox45tallboy) Another fun time on the Quiz last week, wh= ere we learned Abe Lincoln was a real cat guy who didn't see the irony= in naming one of his kitties "Dixie". On the Quiz itself, sugaryvi= tamin came out on top with 1030, followed by Denjiro in second with 992 and americathon in third with = 979, kevinatilusa came in fourth with 959, and bud= jones rounds out the top five with 941, Two Dogs Farking sets the staff high score with 948. The hardest = ;question on last week's Hard Quiz was about a new partnership licensing th= e Girl Scouts name and the flavor of their highly addictive Thin Mints cook= ies. Only 22% of quiztakers recognized "Muddy Buddies" as a flavor of Chex = Mix, with the cereal coated in chocolate and powdered sugar, General M= ills execs saw the mint flavor of the Girl Scout cookies is a natural fit f= or the snack, and capitalism did the rest. The easiest questi= on on last week's Hard Quiz was about which former World Heavyweight Champi= on boxer YouTuber Jake Paul would be stepping in the ring against in July. = 92% of quiztakers knew that 57-year-old Mike Tyson agreed to the bout for a= rumored $20 million. I can't blame him, I'd take on Jake Paul for $20 mill= ion, but I'm not sure what they had to offer Jake Paul to take on a maybe p= ast his prime but definitely still in shape Mike Tyson. The h= ardest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about which children's author = was getting a Taylor Swift-inspired course at Vermont State University. Onl= y 30% of quiztakers knew that Al Yankovic was the author of such books as "= When I Grow Up" and the famed first day of school narrative "My New Teacher= and Me!". I'm guessing the curriculum will include "The Authorized Al" as = well as a viewing of "UHF" without the badgers. The easiest q= uestion on last week's Easy Quiz was about the definition of "tawdry". 92% = of quiztakers knew that it meant cheap and gaudy, or morally bad or distast= eful. It seems interesting that Merriam-Webster would choose this as their = word of the day considering who's in the news and won't seem to stop being = in the news, but I'm sure it was a mere coincidence. If you m= issed out last week, now's a great time to [catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz](3D" now that you= know a few of the answers. Congratulations once again to the winners, and = we'll do it all again on Friday. --------------------------------------------------------------- ([Fark.com](3D"") sent this newsletter emai= l to: {EMAIL}) To stop these emails, go to the Notifications tab of your [MyFark profile](3D"https:=) to change your subscription preferences. Or, [click here to unsubscribe](3D") f= rom newsletter emails, even if your Fark login isn't '{NAME}'. 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