Fark NotNewsletter: What'd I Miss?

This is a multi-part message in MIME format... ------------=_1711037919-55827-14147 Content-Type: text/html Content-Disposition: inline Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable [3D"The](3D")= > [3D"Totalfark"](3D") Having trouble reading thi= s email? View it online [here](3D". Comments thread: [(3D" Unsubscribe links are at the bottom of this message. =20 =20 Apologies for the missing NNL last week - I ha= d to get a firmware update. What'd I miss? ...Oh. Oh boy. XOXO, = NotNewsletterMonkey ________________________ A message from Drew Curtis: _______= _________________ Hey everyone = hope your week's been well. I'= m mainly a casual sports fan but I was brought up on Kentucky basketball an= d it's a great excuse to have beers over a game a couple nights a week from= November until early April. My favorite two sports days of the year = are Thursday and Friday when the NCAA tournament kicks off. Mainly be= cause those first four days are an absolute bloodbath. 32 games in tw= o days followed by another 16 in two days. 64 teams enter, 16 = leave. And the upsets are the best. I used to spend all day on = either the Thursday or the Friday at a local bar, working remotely and watc= hing the carnage unfold. This year I'll likely limit it to just Thurs= day evening because I hate losing the next day to a hangover. But man= I love it. Sports betting is = legal in Kentucky this year which adds an extra level of fun. I've pu= t $5 on every underdog with 4:1 or higher odds. Here's a list for tho= se who want to play along at home. Vermont over Duke Sucks Longwo= od over Houston Yale over Auburn= pan> Colgate over Baylor St Peters over Tennessee SDST over Iowa ST More= head over Illinois Long Beach over = Arizona Akron over Creighton= Duquesne over BYU Wagner over UNC There's also Oakland over Kentucky but I can't bring myself to bet tha= t one. Fun fact - I had no idea Oakland even had a university. = Extra fun fact: this Oakland isn't located in California - they're in Michi= gan. I also don't think Col of= Charleston can beat Alabama but that one's close to a 4:1 payout as of thi= s writing. I mean none of thes= e teams should actually win but I bet at least one or two do. That's = the best part of the NCAA tournament - you never know where the upsets will= come, but they will happen. N= o [Fark News Livestream](3D") this week - I was out of= pocket most of last week so I'm short on material. Won't be short on= material next week however. ________________________ End Drew transmission ________________________ Top Interactions Some of the best interactions from the past week. Do note: this ta= kes priority over being placed in "top comments." - [fullyautomati= c](3D") and [mikefinch](3D"https://w=)shared times the kids turned the hau= nted house around on the actors. - Farkers informed [Thenixon](3D") t= hat, yes, there actually were books about trans healthcare in the 1930s. Top Comments S= ome of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week. = If your post isn't here, assume that NotNewsletterMonkey c= ouldn't think of a tagline. (The [Smartest](3D" and Funniest for the past month are found elsewhere.) Funny: - Wadded Beef[theorizes what'll happen aft= er Texas bans porn.](3D") - thorpe[What, this happened before= ?](3D") Smart: - Ass_Master_Flash= ng>[shared = some old mechanic tricks.](3D") - Ghostwheel20[has experienced = the bad side of cutting corners.](3D") - MattytheMouse= g>[wonders = how they didn't spot the thinly-veiled racism.](3D") - TheOmn= i[= is confused by this positive spin.](3D"=) - trialpha understands= why public areas generally don't allow pets. [Politics](3D" Politics Funny: - Angry Drunk Bureaucrat= [hmm yes.= How many times would that make it, now?](3D") - Farking Clow= n Shoes[knows where the 'bloodbath' comment came from.](3D".=) Politics Smart: - Martian_Astronomer[wonders what i= t'd be like to have this futile job.](3D") - OdradekRex= ng>[wonders= what happened to poor credit report disqualifications.](3D") - Unobtainium[remembers when research had a role in decisionmakin= g.](3D"https=) - markie_farkie[hopes this legal shenanigan= will lead to TFG immediately needing to pay.](3D" - make me= some tea[was told that this TFG comment is, indeed, another insta= nce of Stochastic Terrorism, just one step removed.](3D"=) Monkey's Pick I felt these posts were exceptionally f= unny or smart, even though they didn't get many votes. Warning: Unsorted= , may contain politics. Smart: - freakdiab= lo[= knows how age verification via ID can be done without creating an obvious = security risk.](3D".=) - NM Volunteer[: "Quite literally, my only= way out of debt is unemployment."](3D") [CSB](3D" Morning theme - "[How You Met Your Best Friend](3D")" Thi= s week, Farkers were challenged to share how they met the friend closest to= their heart. [Funny](3D"=): - Mojongo['s dog, M= ONGO, was the biggest.](3D") - thealgorerhythm[met t= heir wife at Arby's.](3D") - Lsherm[knows not to le= t their friend book the hotel.](3D") [Smart](3D"): - = neofonz[was the reason his friend-to-be didn't drop out of college= .](3D".=) - Cafe Threads['s friendship was created thro= ugh the power of weed.](3D" - ms_lara_croft[and Sus= an's friendship has lasted 60 years, and will likely continue on for longer= .](3D") - Loris['s friend since kindergarten died, re= cently.](3D" Top Contest En= tries Some of the top-voted [contest](3D" entries from last week. Normal operation = will return next week - we're still ironing out the kinks. Contests: - Yammering_Splat_Vector= g>[, who knows what they're scheming?](3D") - Thoaar = watched the annual Salmon Simulation swimming competition. - I_Am_Weasel[provided convenient censorship.](3D"ht=) - RedZoneTuba[installed a fancy clutch.](3D"ht=) - = Thoaar[remembers what it was like to have a walkman in your pocket= .](3D"=) - Yammering_Splat_Vector[had to make a qui= ck replacement for a lost Star Trek prop.](3D") - Thoaar= ong>[Ah yes, the plierbirds. Majestic.](3D") IN ADDITION,The [2024 F= ark Fiction Anthology is open for submissions](3D"=)! This is our = ninth year doing this, and over the previous eight years, we've ra= ised thousands of dollars for charity and have unleashed dozens if not hund= reds of new Fark writers onto the world! If you haven't heard of th= is project before, this is an annual charity event run by Farkers, for Fark= ers, or anybody really, where a crack team of editors and readers finds the= best short fiction that everyone here on Fark can write! The best of the b= est of the best is collected, folded, spindled, and published on Amazon as = trade paperback or Kindle ebook editions, and all proceeds go to benefit St= . Jude Children's Research Hospital! Want to be a part of this? Sen= d us your best short (under 10,000 words) fiction in any of these fine genr= es: Fantasy! Science Fiction! Humor! Horror! My= stery, suspense, or thriller! (Or honestly, anything else,= because if it's good enough we'll make a new tab for it!) Have a g= ood idea for a story? [Send it to us at this link!](3D"h=) [Farktography theme:](3D") "[Anything Goes 3](3D"https://w=)" This week, Farkers were ch= allenged to show us their best work they haven't showed us before - after a= ll, there's no theme requirements for this one! - EvaDewer[photographed a polite disagreement.](3D"=) - Elsinore= [saw a water drop with a parachute.](3D"=) - kittyhas= 1000legs[photographed an IRL black-and-white pond.](3D"=) - = common sense is an oxymoron[caught a Great Blue Heron.](3D" - orioniddiscovered an isolated church. = [Upcoming Fark Parties](3D"=) It's easy to pl= an for a Fark Party - you're effectively saying that "I'm going to be here = at this time, come hang out." [Submit one!](=3D" [Monday, A= pril 8, 2024, Total eclipse of the Sun Fark Party at Noon.](3D") ~3 Weeks = Out! NOTE: Venue changed! Check the post for info! Fark Headlines of the Week A sel= ection of some of the top headlines from last week. [NATO head= quarters raises flag of Sweden, which is a huge plus](3D") [The murder rate is skyrocketing](3D") [Shooting at a Walmart in Punxsutawney lea= ves one dead, six more weeks of Murica](3D") [Uvalde police chief an= nounces his resignation, plans to spend more time standing around uselessly= with his family](3D") [I'm fairly sure if they took all the porn= off the internet, there'd only be one website left and it would be called = 'Bring Back the Porn'](3D=) When the vete= rinary surgeon calls to say your dog's op went well, but he'll let you know= if there's any change Suddenly, it's the inevitable cro= ssover headline between "everything Down Under wants to kill you" and "Boei= ng 787 dreamliner" Far= k Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy) 3/13/24 Anothe= r fun time on the Quiz last week, where we determined that fitted sheets we= re a conspiracy against single men. On the Quiz itself, richh99= rong> came out on top with a score of 966, followed by Denjiro= in second with 959 and capngroovy and bud jones tying for third with 931. SoundOfOneHand= Wanking made fourth with 927, and Hassan Ben Sobr= rong> made it into the top five with 920, The hardest question on l= ast week's Hard Quiz was about which company has realized the sheer amount = of money being invested in quantum computing technology and suddenly h= ad the flash of inspiration to ask the tough questions, like "why?" Only 44= % of quiztakers knew that Google is offering $5 million in prize money to a= nyone that can tell them why exactly they are investing hundreds of million= s of dollars in this technology and how they can turn it into a profit, bec= ause apparently they invest in buzzwords rather than business plans. The easiest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about why the ico= nic fountains outside the Bellagio on the Vegas Strip were shut down for ne= arly two days. 67% of quiztakers knew that a yellow-billed loon had popped = in to check out the Sphere and play a few rounds of craps, and thought the = Bellagio was the perfect place to take a dip before he headed to the c= asino floor. The casino shut down the fountains and called the Nevada Depar= tment of Wildlife, who relocated the bird someplace with presumably fewer s= howgirls and slot machines. After all, it was underage. The hardest= question on last week's Easy Quiz was about which filmmaker has a "directo= r's cut" of his latest project that clocks in at six hours - and will be re= leasing it this summer. Only 48% of quiztakers knew that Rebel Moon on Netf= lix was getting a "Snyder Cut". Denis Villanueve's "Dune" was produced by W= arner Bros, so if there is another cut somewhere, it will be on Max first.&= nbsp; The easiest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about which= Hollywood legend has officially retired from acting. 83% of quiztakers kne= w that following 2017's "Phantom Thread", Daniel Day Lewis has not taken a = single role, and wants nothing to do with any projects involving streaming = services. While I respect his decision, it seems kind of like a legendary h= orse jockey refusing to ride in a car even as the town stables are paved ov= er for a parking lot. In the meantime, catch "There Will Be Blood" on Param= ount+ and "Gangs of New York" on Max. If you missed out last week, = it's a great time to [= catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz](3D"https:/=) now that you know a few of the ans= wers. Congratulations once again on the winners, and we'll be doing it all = again on Friday. 3/20/24 Another fun time on the Quiz last week, where we learned manufacturers oft= en make it difficult for an end user to obtain the warranties they are prom= ised. On the Quiz itself, edmo came out on top with a scor= e of 1011, followed by Megateuthis in second with 970= and mrs. badcrumble in third with 954. = WoolyManwich made fourth with 929, and wearsmanyhats made it into the top five with 926. The hardest= question on last week's Hard Quiz was about which president really ma= de an outreach to Irish-American voters with his love of corned beef and ho= noring of St. Patrick's Day. Only 23% of quiztakers knew that the Iris= h Potato Famine happened between 1845 and 1852, and Abraham Lincoln's first= election in 1860 saw Irish immigrants as a significant voting block. No wo= rd on his position on green beer. The easiest question on last week= 's Hard Quiz was about the newest member of NATO. 87% of quiztakers knew th= at the flag of Sweden was raised over NATO headquarters on Monday, so parti= cipating nations can look forward to meatballs in their ration packs and so= me assembly required on their flat-pack tank shipments. Bork, bork, bork.&n= bsp; The hardest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about which = rapper claimed to run a "drug-free workplace" despite owning a weed brand a= nd having the word "BAKED" tattooed on his forehead. Only 62% of quiztakers= recognized Dwayne Carter as the real name of "Tha Carter" rapper Lil Wayne= , It appears those in charge of approving his PPP loan didn't doubt his cla= im, they just said "OKAAAAY", The easiest question on last week's E= asy Quiz was about which movie took home all the Oscars last week. 96% of q= uiztakers knew that Oppenheimer nabbed 7 of the 13 Academy Awards it was no= minated for including Best Picture. I guess you could say it wasn't a bomb?= If you missed out last week, now's a great time to [catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz=](3D" now that you know a few of the answers. Congratulations once again to = the winners, and we'll do it all again next week. --------------------------------------------------------------- ([Fark.com](3D"") sent this newsletter emai= l to: {EMAIL}) To stop these emails, go to the Notifications tab of your [MyFark profile](3D"https:=) to change your subscription preferences. Or, [click here to unsubscribe](3D") f= rom newsletter emails, even if your Fark login isn't '{NAME}'. [Click here to unsubscribe from ALL Fark emails](3D"). Fark, Inc. PO Box 1291, Versailles KY 40383 = ------------=_1711037919-55827-14147--