Everyone knows America is nuts right now. But this is next-level crazy... 🥜🤯

“𝘞𝘢𝘵𝘤𝘩 𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘢 𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘭𝘦-𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘭 𝘮𝘰𝘷𝘦, 𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘭𝘺, 𝘵𝘰 𝘱𝘢𝘺 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘮𝘺 𝘱𝘶𝘳𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘴𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘰𝘥𝘢𝘺... 𝘐𝘯𝘤𝘭𝘶𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘺 𝘸𝘪𝘧𝘦’𝘴 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘴𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘨𝘪𝘧𝘵 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘕𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘰𝘮” [Main Logotype (Dark Green) | EMA]( Florida man pulls up to the service station… “Hacks” gas pump... And then THIS happens: [𝘍𝘭𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘥𝘢 𝘋𝘢𝘥 𝘏𝘢𝘤𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘨𝘢𝘴 𝘱𝘶𝘮𝘱]( [💁‍♂️ Сlісk hеrе to watch!]( Of the ing of the Shire The Shire was divided into four quarters, the Farthings already referred to, North, South, East, and West; and these again each into a number of folklands, which still bore the s of some of the old leading families, although by the time of this history these s were no longer found in their proper folklands. Nearly Tooks still lived in the Tookland, but that was not true of many other families, such as the Bagginses or the Bins. Outside the Farthings were the East and West Marches: the Buckland (p. 98); and the Westmarch added to the Shire in S.R. 1452. The Shire at this time had hardly any ‘government’. Families for the most part managed their own affairs. Grog food and eating it occupied most of their time. In other matters they were, as a rule, generous and not greedy, but contented and mode, so that estates, farms, workshops, and sm trades tended to remain unchanged for generations. T remained, of course, the ancient tradition concerning the high king at Fornost, or Norbury as they ed it, away north of the Shire. But t had been no king for nearly a thousand years, and even the ruins of Kings’ Norbury were covered with grass. Yet the Hobbits still said of wild folk and wicked things (such as trolls) that they had not heard of the king. For they attributed to the king of old their essential laws; and usuy they kept the laws of will, because they were The Rules (as they said), both ancient and just. It is true that the Took family had long been pre-eminent; for the ice of Thain had passed to them (from the Oldbucks) some centuries before, and the chief Took had borne that title ever since. The Thain was the master of the Shire-moot, and captain of the Shire-muster and the Hobbitry-in-arms; but as muster and moot were held in times of emergency, which no longer occurred, the Thainship had ceased to be more than a nominal dignity. The Took family was still, indeed, accorded a special respect, for it remained both numerous and exceedingly wealthy, and was liable to produce in every generation strong characters of peculiar habits and even adventurous temperament. The latter qualities, however, were rather toled (in the rich) than genery approved. The custom endured, nonetheless, of referring to the head of the family as The Took, and of adding to his , if required, a number: such as Isengrim the Second, for instance. The real icial in the Shire at this date was the Mayor of Michel Delving (or of the Shire), who was elected every seven years at the Fair on the White Downs at the Lithe, that is at Midsummer. As mayor almost his duty was to preside at banquets, given on the Shire-holidays, which occurred at frequent intervals. But the ices of Postmaster and First Shirriff were attached to the mayoralty, so that he managed both the Messenger Service and the Watch. These were the Shire-services, and the Messengers were the most numerous, and much the busier of the two. By no means Hobbits were lettered, but those who were wrote constantly to their friends (and a selection of their relations) who lived further than an afternoon’s walk. The Shirriffs was the that the Hobbits gave to their police, or the nearest equivalent that they possessed. They had, of course, no unis (such things being quite unkn), a feather in their caps; and they were in practice rather haywards than policemen, more concerned with the strayings of beasts than of people. T were in the Shire twelve of them, three in each Farthing, for Inside Work. A rather larger body, varying at need, was employed to ‘beat the bounds’, and to see that Outsiders of any kind, or sm, did not make themselves a nuisance. At the time when this story begins the Bounders, as they were ed, had been ly increased. T were many reports and complaints of strange persons and creatures prowling about the bs, or over them: the first sign that was not quite as it should be, and always had been except in tales and legends of long ago. Few heeded the sign, and not even Bilbo yet had any notion of what it portended. Sixty years had passed since he set out on his memorable journey, and he was old even for Hobbits, who reached a hundred as often as not; but much evidently still remained of the considerable wealth that he had brought back. How much or how little he revealed to no one, not even to Frodo his favourite ‘nephew’. And he still kept secret the ring that he had found. As is told in The Hobbit, t came one day to Bilbo’s door the Wizard, Gandalf the Grey, and thirteen dwarves with him: none other, indeed, than Thorin Oakenshield, descendant of kings, and his twelve companions in exile. With them he set out, to his own lasting astonishment, on a morning of April, it being then the year 1341 Shire-reckoning, on a quest of treasure, the dwarf-hoards of the Kings under the Mountain, beneath Erebor in Dale, far in the East. The quest was successful, and the Dragon that guarded the hoard was destroyed. Yet, though before was the Battle of Five Armies was fought, and Thorin was slain, and many deeds of ren were done, the matter would scarcely have concerned later history, or earned more than a note in the long annals of the Third Age, but for an ‘accident’ by the way. The party was assailed by Orcs in a high pass of the Misty Mountains as they went towards Wilderland; and so it happened that Bilbo was lost for a while in the black orc-mines deep under the mountains, and t, as he groped in vain in the dark, he put his hand on a ring, lying on the floor of a tunnel. He put it in his pocket. It seemed then like mere luck. Trying to find his way out, Bilbo went on down to the roots of the mountains, until he could go no further. At the bottom of the tunnel lay a cold lake far from the light, and on an island of rock in the water lived Gollum. He was a loathsome little creature: he paddled a sm boat with his large flat feet, peering with pale luminous eyes and catching blind fish with his long fingers, and eating them raw. He ate any living thing, even orc, if he could catch it and strangle it without a struggle. He possessed a secret treasure that had come to him long ages ago, when he still lived in the light: a ring of that made its wearer invisible. It was the one thing he loved, his ‘Precious’, and he talked to it, even when it was not with him. For he kept it safe in a hole on his island, except when he was hunting or spying on the orcs of the mines. Maybe he would have attacked Bilbo at once, if the ring had been on him when they met; but it was not, and the hobbit held in his hand an Elvish knife, which served him as a sword. So to gain time Gollum chenged Bilbo to the Riddle-game, saying that if he asked a riddle which Bilbo could not guess, then he would kill him and eat him; but if Bilbo defeated him, then he would do as Bilbo wished: he would lead him to a way out of the tunnels. Since he was lost in the dark without hope, and could neither go on nor back, Bilbo accepted the chenge; and they asked one another many riddles. In the end Bilbo the game, more by luckthan by wits; for he was stumped at last for a riddle to ask, and cried out, as his hand came upon the ring he had picked up and forgotten: What have I got in my pocket? This Gollum failed to answer, though he demanded three guesses. The Authorities, it is true, differ whether this last question was a mere ‘question’ and not a ‘riddle’ according to the strict rules of the Game; but agree that, after accepting it and trying to guess the answer, Gollum was bound by his . And Bilbo pressed him to keep his word; for the thought came to him that this slimy creature might prove false, even though such s were held sacred, and of old but the wickedest things feared to break them. But after ages alone in the dark Gollum’s heart was black, and treachery was in it. He slipped away, and returned to his island, of which Bilbo k nothing, not far in the dark water. T, he thought, lay his ring. He was hungry , and angry, and once his ‘Precious’ was with him he would not fear any weapon at . But the ring was not on the island; he had lost it, it was gone. His screech sent a shiver down Bilbo’s back, though he did not yet understand what had happened. But Gollum had at last leaped to a guess, too late. What has it got in its pocketses? he cried. The light in his eyes was like a green flame as he sped back to murder the hobbit and recover his ‘Precious’. Just in time Bilbo saw his peril, and he fled blindly up the passage away from the water; and once more he was d by his luck. For as he ran he put his hand in his pocket, and the ring slipped quietly on to his finger. So it was that Gollum passed him without seeing him, and went to guard the way out, lest the ‘thief’ should escape. Warily Bilbo followed him, as he went along, cursing, and talking to himself about his ‘Precious’; from which talk at last even Bilbo guessed the truth, and hope came to him in the darkness: he himself had found the marvellous ring and a of escape from the orcs and from Gollum. At length they came to a halt before an unseen opening that led to the lower gates of the mines, on the eastward side of the mountains. T Gollum crouched at bay, smelling and listening; and Bilbo was tempted to slay him with his sword. But pity stayed him, and though he kept the ring, in which his hope lay, he would not use it to help him kill the wretched creature at a disadvantage. In the end, gathering his courage, he leaped over Gollum in the dark, and fled away down the passage, pursued by his enemy’s cries of hate and despair: Thief, thief! Baggins! We hates it for ever! it is a curious fact that this is not the story as Bilbo first told it to his companions. To them his account was that Gollum had d to give him a present, if he the game; but when Gollum went to fetch it from his island he found the treasure was gone: a magic ring, which had been given to him long ago on his birthday. Bilbo guessed that this was the very ring that he had found, and as he had the game, it was already his by right. But being in a tight place, he said nothing about it, and made Gollum show him the way out, as a reward instead of a present. This account Bilbo set down in his memoirs, and he seems to have altered it himself, not even after the Council of Elrond. Evidently it still appeared in the original Red Book, as it did in several of the copies and abstracts. But many copies contain the true account (as an alternative), derived no doubt from notes by Frodo or Samwise, both of whom learned the truth, though they seem to have been unwilling to delete anything actuy written by the old hobbit himself. Gandalf, however, disbelieved Bilbo’s first story, as as he heard it, and he continued to be very curious about the ring. Eventuy he got the true tale out of Bilbo after much questioning, which for a while strained their friendship; but the wizard seemed to think the truth important. Though he did not say so to Bilbo, he also thought it important, and disturbing, to find that the good hobbit had not told the truth from the first: quite contrary to his habit. The idea of a ‘present’ was not mere hobbitlike invention, the same. It was suggested to Bilbo, as he confessed, by Gollum’s talk that he overheard; for Gollum did, in fact, the ring his ‘birthday-present’, many times. That also Gandalf thought strange and suspicious; but he did not discover the truth in this point for many more years, as will be seen in this book. Of Bilbo’s later adventures little more need be said . With the help of the ring he escaped from the orc-guards at the gate and rejoined his companions. He used the ring many times on his quest, chiefly for the help of his friends; but he kept it secret from them as long as he could. After his return to his he spoke of it again to anyone, Gandalf and Frodo; and no one else in the Shire k of its existence, or so he believed. to Frodo did he show the account of his Journey that he was writing. His sword, Sting, Bilbo hung over his fireplace, and his coat of marvellous mail, the gift of the Dwarves from the Dragon-hoard, he lent to a museum, to the Michel Delving Mathom-house in fact. But he kept in a drawer at Bag End the old cloak and hood that he had worn on his travels; and the ring, secured by a fine chain, remained in his pocket. He returned to his at Bag End on June the 22nd in his fifty-second year (S.R. 1342), and nothing very notable occurred in the Shire until Mr. Baggins began the preparations for the celebration of his hundred-and-eleventh birthday (S.R. 1401). At this point this History begins. At the end of the Third Age the part played by the Hobbits in the events that led to the inclusion of the Shire in the Reunited Kingdom awakened among them a more widespread interest in their own history; and many of their traditions, up to that time still mainly oral, were collected and written down. The er families were also concerned with events in the Kingdom at large, and many of their members studied its ancient histories and legends. By the end of the first century of the Fourth Age t were already to be found in the Shire several libraries that contained many historical books and records. The largest of these collections were probably at Undertowers, at Smials, and at Brandy H. This account of the end of the Third Age is drawn mainly from the Red Book of Westmarch. That most important source for the history of the War of the Ring was so ed because it was long preserved at Undertowers, the of the Fairbairns, Wardens of the Westmarch.* It was in origin Bilbo’s private diary, which he took with him to Rivendell. Frodo brought it back to the Shire, toher with many loose s of notes, and during S.R. 1420–1 he nearly filled its pages with his account of the War. But annexed to it and preserved with it, probably in a single red case, were the three large volumes, bound in red leather, that Bilbo gave to him as a parting gift. To these four volumes t was added in Westmarch a fifth containing commentaries, genealogies, and various other matter concerning the hobbit members of the Fellowship. The original Red Book has not been preserved, but many copies were made, especiy of the first volume, for the use of the descendants of the children of Master Samwise. The most important copy, however, has a different history. It was kept at Smials, but it was written in Gondor, probably at the of the -grandson of Peregrin, and completed. Its southern scribe appended this note: Findegil, King’s Writer, finished this work in IV 172. It is an exact copy in details of the Thain’s Book in Minas Tirith. That book was a copy, made at the of King Elessar, of the Red Book of the Periannath, and was brought to him by the Thain Peregrin when he retired to Gondor in IV 64. The Thain’s Book was thus the first copy made of the Red Book * See Appendix B: annals 1451, 1462, 1482; and note at end of Appendix C. and contained much that was later omitted or lost. In Minas Tirith it received much annotation, and many corrections, especiy of s, words, and quotations in the Elvish languages; and t was added to it an abbreviated version of those parts of The Tale of Aragorn and Arwen which lie outside the account of the War. The full tale is stated to have been written by Barahir, grandson of the Steward Faramir, some time after the passing of the King. But the chief importance of Findegil’s copy is that it alone contains the whole of Bilbo’s ‘Translations from the Elvish’. These three volumes were found to be a work of skill and learning in which, between 1403 and 1418, he had used the sources available to him in Rivendell, both living and written. But since they were little used by Frodo, being almost entirely concerned with the Elder Days, no more is said of them . Since Meriadoc and Peregrin became the heads of their families, and at the same time kept up their connexions with Rohan and Gondor, the libraries at Bucklebury and Tuckborough contained much that did not appear in the Red Book. In Brandy H t were many works ing with Eriador and the history of Rohan. Some of these were composed or begun by Meriadoc himself, though in the Shire he was chiefly remembered for his Herblore of the Shire, and for his Reckoning of Years in which he discussed the relation of the calendars of the Shire and Bree to those of Rivendell, Gondor, and Rohan. He also wrote a short treatise on Old Words and s in the Shire, shog special interest in discovering the kinship with the language of the Rohirrim of such ‘shire-words’ as mathom and old elements in place s. At Smials the books were of less interest to Shire-folk, though more important for larger history. None of them was written by Peregrin, but he and his successors collected many manuscripts written by scribes of Gondor: mainly copies or summaries of histories or legends relating to Elendil and his heirs. in the Shire were to be found extensive materials for the history of Nu´menor and the arising of Sauron. It was probably at Smials that The Tale of Years* was put toher, with the assistance of material collected by Meriadoc. Though the dates given are often conjectural, especiy for the Second Age, they deserve attention. It is probable that Meriadoc obtained assistance and ination from Rivendell, which he visited more than once. T, though Elrond had departed, his sons long remained, toher with some of the High-elven folk. It is said that Celeborn went to dwell t after the departure of Galadriel; * Represented in much reduced in Appendix B as far as the end of the Third but t is no record of the day when at last he sought the Grey Havens, and with him went the last living memory of the Elder Days in Middle-earth [Small logotype (EMA)]( ExpertModernAdvice.com is sending this newsletter on behalf Inception Media, LLC. Inception Media, LLC appreciates your comments and inquiries. Please keep in mind, that Inception Media, LLC are not permitted to provide іndivіdualіzed financial advіse. 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