A cheat code for influencing people

Use these openings to build trust instantly [Image](https://) Greetings Everyday Spy, My first day of training at CIA was nothing like I expected. Hollywood had me prepped for dark suits, fast cars, guns, explosives and multiple languages. But the reality was very different. My first day at Langley found me in a beige room surrounded by a handful of other new recruits. We were all undercover. We were instructed not to share our true names or personal details with one another. Everyone in the room was fired up to begin our training. Each of us came from a different background. But we all had the same dream that was becoming a reality. CIA receives over 150,000 applications a year. New recruits come as young as 24 years old and span all ages after that. I sat side-by-side with a retired military officer on one side and a former surgeon on the other side my first day of training. At CIA, everything revolves around ‘Windows and Doors.’ You’ve already learned the 'Give to Get" technique. ‘Windows and Doors’ takes rapport building to the next level. By giving something away in a conversation (or even an introduction), you open social ‘Windows and Doors’ that invite the other person to keep talking. In the spy business, we call this ‘reciprocity’ – a subconscious need the other person feels to give you something back in return. Here is one everyday example of how you might carry a conversation at work: “Hello, Mike! I was headed downstairs to get a cup of coffee – do you want one?” “Hey, Andy. I’m good. I’m already on my second cup. The baby was up all night.” “I remember those days, man. I hope everything is alright.” “She usually sleeps well, so I’m not sure what’s going on. My wife says it’s just teeth. I guess I’ll go with that.” Social mastery happens when you learn how to [use rapport to gain insights and then use those insights to gain trust.]( ‘Giving to Get’ started in the above conversation when I offered Mike a cup of coffee with no strings attached. From there, ‘Windows and Doors’ started to open… First, Mike confirmed that he was a coffee drinker. Not everyone drinks coffee, but we know for sure now that Mike does. And coffee is a cheap gift that earns lots of 1-on-1 time. Second, Mike told us he was tired – that means he most likely is not thinking clearly. That gives Andy an informational advantage that he could use to help or hurt Mike depending on the mission objectives. Third, Mike shared that his child is a girl, and that he may have some concerns about her health. Additionally, he demonstrated that he defers to his wife when it comes to the baby. To 99% of society, conversations are just friendly exchanges between co-workers; normal, unimportant, and easily forgotten. But you and I know better. By carrying a conversation, I gained key details he can use to grow his rapport with Mike today and in the future. This is especially powerful when you consider that Mike – the only other person in the conversation – is likely to forget the conversation ever happened! When you carry a conversation, you gain information – and information is the foundation of rapport. You can sympathize, share, and joke with people based on what you have in common. Marriage, sports, work-related issues, stories, travel, etc. They will feel more comfortable with you because you ‘reciprocate’ with information that is relevant to their interests and personal lives. When I use ‘Windows and Doors’ to carry a conversation, I show the person I’m talking to that I respect their knowledge and appreciate them as individuals. Social mastery is about listening and learning from others… and that takes practice. Start a conversation today using ‘give to get’ to build rapport. Do it with a text message or a phone call to a coworker. Or even introduce yourself to a total stranger. Carry the conversation using ‘Windows and Doors’ and watch as the other person shares awesome, valuable information with you. Information about their likes and dislikes, personal situations, concerns, preferences, and frustrations. Once you know how to build rapport and use it to carry a conversation forward, you are well on your way to being a social master! Godspeed, #EverydaySpy P.S. Imagine [having the power to influence anyone, anytime, anywhere.]( OPTHINK, you'll learn the spy secrets to building instant rapport, uncovering hidden motivations, and steering conversations towards your desired outcome. Andrew Bustamante, Founder of EverydaySpy.com, is a former covert CIA Intelligence officer, decorated US Air Force Combat Veteran, and respected Fortune 500 senior advisor. Learn more from Andrew on his Podcast (The EverydaySpy Podcast) and by following @EverydaySpy on your favorite social media platform. This email was sent to {EMAIL}. Don't want to receive these emails anymore? [Unsubscribe]( EverydaySpy, 411 Walnut St. #20309, Green Cove Springs, FL 32043