A chilling hostage story's powerful lesson

And how you can endure anything [Image](https://) Greetings Everyday Spy, Sometimes the bad guy wins. Every time I reflect on the truth of those five words, my heart breaks. There are three kinds of people in the world: - People who want to help others - People who want to hurt others - People who haven't decided yet if they want to help or hurt I've spent my life helping people as a soldier, a spy, and now through my website, EverydaySpy.com. In my last email, I told you about a European spy I worked with a long time ago. We needed to be strong in our bodies to handle the hard work and long hours. We needed to be strong in our minds to make good choices and stick to our plan. But most of all, we needed to be strong in our emotions. Being strong emotionally means understanding your feelings and dealing with them in a beneficial way. You don't see this in the movies. But the following true story shows how crucial emotional strength is in real life: On May 27th, 2001, some bad guys took 20 people hostage in the Philippines. Three of them were Americans. The bad guys wanted a lot of money and attention from the media. An FBI negotiator, who is my friend, was sent to lead the talks and bring the hostages home safely. It was hard because the local police kept attacking the bad guys without talking to the FBI first. The bad guys moved the hostages into the jungle. The FBI negotiator tried her best to save as many hostages as she could. 7 of the 20 hostages got out during the fighting, but the 3 Americans were still captured. On June 11th, 2001, the bad guys warned against any more rescue attempts. To show they were serious, they beheaded one of the American hostages, Guillermo Sobero. Obviously, words can't describe how heartbreaking this was. It changed the FBI's job from trying to reason with the bad guys to trying to rescue the hostages by force. My friend felt terrible that she couldn't save Guillermo, but she still had two more hostages to save. She had to be strong emotionally to do her job and bring them home. After another FBI agent came to take over, my friend was allowed to go home. That's when she let herself cry and feel all her emotions. Every hero is a person first, and people have feelings. Every feeling has three parts: thoughts, body reactions, and actions. People are often taught to hide their feelings instead of understanding them, which can be bad for their health. But not dealing with feelings the right way can make them stronger. It causes problems like high blood pressure, weight gain, and feeling tired and uncomfortable. To deal with stress, people might do unhealthy things like eat too much, use drugs, or even hurt others. Many people have mental health problems because they don't know how to handle their emotions in a healthy way. Being strong emotionally doesn't mean not having feelings. It means accepting your feelings and using them in a good way. You're human, so you'll always have feelings. But if you let your feelings control you, you can't be your best self. Here's how to be strong emotionally during stressful times: 1. Stop and name the feeling. When you pause to identify the emotion, your body stops reacting because your mental focus is dedicated to identifying what you are feeling. 2. Reframe it in a way that helps you reach your goals. Rather than being sad at the loss of life, my FBI friend chose to reframe the emotion as certainty that the group had lethal intentions. This empowered her to make decisive decisions under tight time constraints 3. Embrace and react. The last step is to accept the feelings you've looked at in a new way and let yourself feel them. Accepting and reacting to the feeling you first had does two important things [keeps your brain working the way it should to handle feelings in a healthy way.]( It also stops other bad feelings like embarrassment, guilt, and frustration from showing up later. People who are strong emotionally, like soldiers and spies, know how necessary these 3 steps are. They can't let their feelings take over because it could put themselves and others in danger. You have a mission ahead of you. Now you have the skills to complete it. Godspeed, #EverydaySpy P.S. Fortunately, few people have to face the nightmare scenario my friend did. So, using the 3 steps to emotional strength above in less charged situations is good practice for when the worst occurs. And during normal life, emotional strength is the foundation for [predicting and controlling peoples' next moves with a secret edge that you’ll use to build wealth, business, and influence.]( Andrew Bustamante, Founder of EverydaySpy.com, is a former covert CIA Intelligence officer, decorated US Air Force Combat Veteran, and respected Fortune 500 senior advisor. Learn more from Andrew on his Podcast (The Everyday Espionage Podcast) and by following @EverydaySpy on your favorite social media platform. This email was sent to {EMAIL}. Don't want to receive these emails anymore? [Unsubscribe]( EverydaySpy, 411 Walnut St. #20309, Green Cove Springs, FL 32043