Crime, Fruit and Anger

You and I know that lazy, angry, untrustworthy people are everywhere. Greetings Everyday Spy, When Jihi takes the kids to the grocery store, the classic choices always make the list. String cheese, crackers, deli meat, and a huge variety of fruit. Including Sina’s favorite - mandarin oranges. Jihi’s one of those people that will take a full grocery cart through the self-checkout line. On one of these trips, a grumpy teenage female employee was busy brooding with her face so deep in her cell phone you could barely see her ears sticking out. All of our groceries rang up quick and easy -- which was good because the last thing Jihi wanted to do was talk to the surly teenage employee. Until the time came to ring up the oranges... ITEM NOT FOUND was all the monitor would tell us. After a few failed attempts to get the right price and put in the product code, the red light on the register turned on and the screen said ‘please wait for employee assistance.’ The kids loved the lights, colors, and chaos… but Jihi did not. She knew exactly what ‘employee’ was going to offer her ‘assistance.’ When the grumpy teen came over to help, her annoyance spilled everywhere around her. My youngest looked at her with silent confusion (which is a rare look for my brazen little girl). My son was equally dumbfounded by such an openly angry stranger. When the teenage employee also couldn’t get the price to work, she told Jihi to just take the oranges and leave without paying for them. “But, isn’t that stealing?” my son asked before he could hold his tongue. The teenager said it wasn’t, and that she did it all the time when the machines didn’t work. Jihi -- a business owner, law school graduate, and ex-CIA officer -- knew that our son was right and the employee was dead wrong… And knowing both the complicated mind of a teenager and the simple mind of a gradeschooler, she volunteered to leave the oranges out of our shopping order. They checked out and went down the street to a local fruit stand to get strawberries instead. You and I know that lazy, angry, untrustworthy people are everywhere. And we both know we do not want our kids to be one of them. The mind of a child between 7-13 is programmed to observe behaviors that fall outside of social norms. That's why you see them test rules and limits so often. Their brain understands social structure and it wants to see how norms flex, rebound, or break. The risk is that their observation skills lack interpersonal skills - which is why our son knew we were supposed to pay for the oranges but was confused by the teenager’s surly attitude. His brain knew the structure of trade, but not the empathy of teenage hormonal struggles. You can coach your pre-teen to witness how society really works without compromising the values you’ve worked so hard to teach them. But to do so, you have to spot situations where social norms break down - and then walk away from them. No matter how beneficial they may be to your wallet, your pride, or your convenience. Our son will know teenage angst. And he will one day have a job he hates… But if we do our job right, he will never consider shoplifting a solution instead of a crime. Godspeed, #EverydaySpy P.S. - [The best spy training the world has ever seen is waiting in your Deep Cover Platform. Do you have what it takes to try?]( Follow @EverydaySpy on Social Media! [Facebook]( [Twitter]( [LinkedIn]( [YouTube]( [Instagram]( Andrew Bustamante, Founder of EverydaySpy.com, is a former covert CIA Intelligence officer, decorated US Air Force Combat Veteran, and respected Fortune 500 senior advisor. Learn more from Andrew on his Podcast (The Everyday Espionage Podcast) and by following @EverydaySpy on your favorite social media platform. This email was sent to {EMAIL}. Don't want to receive these emails anymore? [Unsubscribe]( EverydaySpy, 411 Walnut St. #20309, Green Cove Springs, FL 32043