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Give Me a Break, Nikki Haley

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esquire.com

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esquire@newsletter.esquire.com

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Tue, Feb 20, 2024 07:31 PM

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I realize that not voting for a convicted criminal should not get you a cookie in an advanced democr

I realize that not voting for a convicted criminal should not get you a cookie in an advanced democratic republic, but these are the parameters Haley has chosen. It's another attempt to middle the issue of the Republican frontrunner—demonstrate your performative independence, but throw the MAGA hordes a well-gnawed bone by setting their god-emperor free to roam the country stroking their g-spots and selling them overpriced, ugly-ass footwear. Reality, however, bellows at us that a) such a move will not gull the rubes into supporting a President Haley, let alone a candidate Haley, and b) that, once freed, El Caudillo del Mar-a-Lago is better than even money to tour the country beating the everlasting aspirations out of a Haley Administration. [View in Browser]( [Esquire]( [SHOP]( EXCLUSIVE [SUBSCRIBE]( [Nikki Haley Is Throwing the MAGA Hordes a Well-Gnawed Bone]( [Nikki Haley Is Throwing the MAGA Hordes a Well-Gnawed Bone]( I realize that not voting for a convicted criminal should not get you a cookie in an advanced democratic republic, but these are the parameters Haley has chosen. It's another attempt to middle the issue of the Republican frontrunner—demonstrate your performative independence, but throw the MAGA hordes a well-gnawed bone by setting their god-emperor free to roam the country stroking their g-spots and selling them overpriced, ugly-ass footwear. Reality, however, bellows at us that a) such a move will not gull the rubes into supporting a President Haley, let alone a candidate Haley, and b) that, once freed, El Caudillo del Mar-a-Lago is better than even money to tour the country beating the everlasting aspirations out of a Haley Administration. [Read More](   [The 15 Best Sheets for Every Type of Sleeper]( [The 15 Best Sheets for Every Type of Sleeper]( Whether you run hot or cold, these are the brands to invest in. [Read More]( [How Troy Kotsur Reached 'Curb' Cameo Greatness]( [How Troy Kotsur Reached 'Curb' Cameo Greatness]( The Oscar-winning actor opens up about working with Larry David on the final season of Curb Your Enthusiasm—which was exactly as batshit of an experience as you'd think. [Read More](     [What to Do If You're 'Divorce-Curious']( [What to Do If You're 'Divorce-Curious']( The institution of marriage isn’t doing so hot. In the United States, fewer Americans are getting married than ever before, while many are getting married later in life, if at all. What’s to be done about it? According to journalist Lyz Lenz, blow it all up and start over. In This American Ex-Wife, a blistering memoir-meets-manifesto about the fraught gender politics of marriage and divorce, Lenz details how the end of her marriage became the beginning of her life. Raised religious and married at a young age, Lenz walked away from an unsatisfying partnership to rebuild her life on her own terms, only to discover that happiness, liberation, and freedom lay on the other side. “I believed that I would be a sad sack single mom, like you see in all the movies, but when I got to the other side, I realized, ‘This is actually great,’” Lenz tells Esquire. [Read More](   [The Best Wireless Surround Sound Systems for an At-Home Theater Experience]( [The Best Wireless Surround Sound Systems for an At-Home Theater Experience]( You deserve better than those TV built-in speakers. [Read More]( [The 20 Best Joggers For Your Next Run. Or Not.]( [The 20 Best Joggers For Your Next Run. Or Not.]( Let's just be honest with each other here. [Read More](     [What to Watch After 'True Detective: Night Country']( [What to Watch After 'True Detective: Night Country']( Following Sunday night's finale of True Detective: Night Country, I still have some (read: a million) questions. Were there truly spirits haunting the Alaskan tundra? What really happened to Navarro? Can the dead really reappear to the citizens of Ennis and guide them? And will we ever get to see what Liz Danvers's Tinder profile looked like? I'm sorry to say this, reader, but we’ll never have all the answers we are looking for. (That said, it didn't stop us from trying to find them.) But if you're looking for more movies and TV shows that’ll give you another thrilling detective mystery, we can definitely help you there. Whether you loved Night Country's supernatural flair, its eco-horror, the murder mystery at the center of it all, or simply a damn good Jodie Foster performance, we have plenty of viewing recommendations to keep the investigation going. [Read More](   [ESQ SHR Jewelry]( [LiveIntent Logo]( [AdChoices Logo]( [How satisfied are you with the content of this newsletter?]( Follow Us [Unsubscribe]( | [Privacy Notice]( | [CA Notice at Collection]( Esquire is a publication of Hearst Magazines. ©2024 Hearst Magazine Media, Inc. All Rights Reserved. This email was sent by Hearst Magazines, 300 West 57th Street, New York, NY 10019-3779

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