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The Last Remaining Evidence of My Father's Voice Is Fading Away

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esquire.com

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esquire@newsletter.esquire.com

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Sun, Jun 18, 2017 02:11 PM

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His accent was a thing to behold, and all too soon I will have forgotten it. . add esquire@newslette

His accent was a thing to behold, and all too soon I will have forgotten it. [ view in [browser](. add esquire@newsletter.esquire.com to your address book ] [Esquire]( [Sunday Reads] FOLLOW US [Facebook]( [Twitter]( [Pinterest]( [Instagram]( [You Tube]( [Google Plus]( [The Last Remaining Evidence of My Father's Voice Is Fading Away]( My family had a small collection of home videos when I was growing up in the late '80s and early '90s, captured on one of those hulking, heavy video cameras you inserted a whole VHS tape into–almost like a VCR with a lens attached. There are a few videos of my brother and me, inane footage of the two of us running around the yard at various ages, sometimes fighting and sometimes actually enjoying each other's company. There's also one of me at 3 years old, climbing on top of a picnic table to humiliatingly sing Michael Jackson's "Beat It." My mother is there briefly, too, with fashionable early-'80s short hair and early-'80s short-shorts. You never see my dad, but you can hear him–almost godlike, because he was a disembodied, booming voice thanks to his close proximity to the camera he held. I watched one a few years ago at Christmas on an ancient VCR, the tape very scratchy and mostly out of focus, as the cartridge is falling apart–it's obsolete and almost done for. The tapes are sitting in a pile at my mom's house, and I know that one day they will break for good, and that they are probably too old to transfer to a digital medium. The last remaining evidence of my father's voice, the final thing that roots him and his existence in my brain, will eventually cease to exist–just like VHS tapes, and the accent he spoke with, and my memories of him, too. [READ MORE]( [MORE FROM ESQUIRE] [Esquire]( [15 Quotes About Fatherhood from Famous Dads]( "Any fool can have a child. That doesn't make you a father." [Read On]( [Esquire]( [My Dad's Journal from 1977 Inspired Me to Quit My Job and Travel the World]( He biked across America; I ventured through Asia and Europe. [Read On]( [Esquire]( [My Father Said a Lot of Words. His Last Were the Only Ones That Mattered.]( The others I'll never erase from my memory. [Read On]( [Esquire]( [His Trash Talk Made Me Cry. It Also Made Me Tough.]( Chess is a rough game when dad is the world's biggest sh*t talker. [Read On]( [Esquire]( [My Dad, My Boy]( A single mother channels her father's wisdom as she raises her son. [Read On]( [Unsubscribe]( • [Privacy Policy]( [esquire.com]( ©2017 Hearst Communications Inc. All Rights Reserved. Hearst Email Privacy, 300 W 57th St., Fl. 19 (sta 1-1), New York, NY 10019

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