America's Perfected the Fine Art of Quarter-Assing It

I’ve had an office job; I can identify a half-assing. What we're seeing these days is quarter-assed, and it’s a perfect illustration of our national condition. After a long few years in our political and virological histories, we have arrived at the Great American Quarter-Assening. It is particularly dangerous for our nation to find herself in a constitutional crisis during a quarter-assening, but it makes sense, because it’s a quarter-assed conspiracy that got us into it. Donald Trump lost the last election, then called a bunch of people and said, “Let’s pretend I won.” It nearly worked, except a couple of those people said no.   [View in Browser]( [Esquire]( [SHOP]( EXCLUSIVE [SUBSCRIBE]( [America Has Perfected the Fine Art of Quarter-Assing It]( [America Has Perfected the Fine Art of Quarter-Assing It]( I’ve had an office job; I can identify a half-assing. What we're seeing these days is quarter-assed, and it’s a perfect illustration of our national condition. After a long few years in our political and virological histories, we have arrived at the Great American Quarter-Assening. It is particularly dangerous for our nation to find herself in a constitutional crisis during a quarter-assening, but it makes sense, because it’s a quarter-assed conspiracy that got us into it. Donald Trump lost the last election, then called a bunch of people and said, “Let’s pretend I won.” It nearly worked, except a couple of those people said no. [Read More](   [Don't Worry, Michael Mann Won't De-Age Your Heroes in Heat 2]( [Don't Worry, Michael Mann Won't De-Age Your Heroes in Heat 2]( "I just don't don't connect with heavy prosthetics or visual effect-laden things," he tells Esquire. "I’d also have a problem with the movement of the actors. I mean, I’m 79 and I don't move the way I did when I was 39!" [Read More]( [Looking for Clarence Thomas]( [Looking for Clarence Thomas]( He grew up speaking a language of the enslaved on the shores of Pin Point, Georgia. He would become the most powerful Black man in America, using the astonishing power vested in a Supreme Court justice to hold back his own people. What happened? [Read More](     [Republican Shock at the Trump FBI Raid Makes Sense If You Ignore His Entire Adult Life]( [Republican Shock at the Trump FBI Raid Makes Sense If You Ignore His Entire Adult Life]( The American right has exploded in indignation at news the Republican Party's standard-bearer, one Donald Trump, was searched by the FBI on Monday. It was a grave abuse of power, they say, a Deep State conspiracy and/or anything else that does not involve the possibility that maybe, just maybe, Donald Trump is crooked. Never mind that none of us know the details of the search beyond some news reports that it was related to Trump's handing of classified documents. These folks are ready to put themselves out on a limb to defend The Leader. Sen. Marco Rubio, who in 2016 called Trump a "con artist" who must be prevented from taking power, compared the federal cops showing up at Trump's door to the work of authoritarian regimes in Latin America. Sen. Rand Paul has, without evidence, floated the idea the Feds may have planted evidence. [Read More](   [The 10 Best Apple Watch Cases That'll Safeguard Your Timepiece in Style]( [The 10 Best Apple Watch Cases That'll Safeguard Your Timepiece in Style]( The (arguably) best smartwatch in the world deserves the best care. [Read More]( [20 Best Outdoor Furniture Stores For Your Patio and Beyond]( [20 Best Outdoor Furniture Stores For Your Patio and Beyond]( Your time outdoors should be both comfortable and aesthetically pleasing. [Read More](     [The Beast Blender Performs As Good As It Looks]( [The Beast Blender Performs As Good As It Looks]( I hate to admit it: I’m the type of person who values aesthetic over performance. But from time to time, I find something that works just as good as it looks, and the sense of achievement I feel is as if I created it myself. Enter: The Beast. You’ve likely seen the elevated-looking blender pop up on your Instagram feed, especially if you said the word “blender” near your phone recently. Launched in 2021, it looks like the future of kitchen gadgets—I hope. The stylish and sleek design was actually all the convincing I needed to upgrade from my old Nutribullet. So, I tried it, and I loved it. [Read More](   [Win a 5-Night All-Inclusive Stay for Two to The Club Barbados ($4,000 Value)!]( Follow Us [Unsubscribe]( | [Privacy Notice/Notice at Collection]( esquire.com ©2022 Hearst Magazine Media, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Hearst Magazines, 300 West 57th Street, New York, NY 10019