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My Father, The Spy

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Sun, Jun 19, 2022 03:02 PM

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To know his story is to know something profound about this country. It is the story of the American

To know his story is to know something profound about this country. It is the story of the American century. [View in Browser]( [Esquire Sunday Reads]( My Father, The Spy My father was a spy, a high-ranking member of the CIA, one of those idealistic men who came out of World War II determined to save the world from tyranny. Like so many of his colleagues, he ended up bitter at a world that mocked and frustrated and finally vilified him. His bitterness was the mystery of my childhood, turning me stubborn and defiant. Like most sons of unhappy fathers, I had a hole inside me cut to the shape of his sadness, a hole I tried to fill in all the usual ways and never did, because happiness would be too much of a betrayal. My miseries were a tribute to his own—a f--cked-up gesture of f--ked-up solidarity. So I was always leaving home and coming back and leaving again and coming back again, and often on these visits I would interview him, trying to bridge the gulf between us in the only way I knew. But whenever I pulled out my tape recorder, he would remind me that he had taken an oath of silence. That was always the first thing he said: "You know, son, I took an oath of silence." [Read the Full Story]( [MORE FROM ESQUIRE]( The Best Bars in America, 2022 It may have been a while since you put on a pair of “nice pants” to go to a bar, but when that very 2022 confluence of joie de vivre and pandemic ennui begins to stir and you hear about a new piano bar with red booths or a semisecret room with Kubrick-level design details or a place that has the best damn Sazerac in the world, you put one leg in after the other and you order yourself a Lyft. Or, hell, hop on the next flight to New Orleans. It is time for the Big Night Out. Drinking culture over the past two-plus years has morphed from negronis hastily made on your kitchen counter to cocktails on the go to cautiously rediscovering what it’s like to sit at a bar to where we are now—going out with a sense of epicness. “Wasn’t this supposed to happen last year, post-vax?” you might ask. It didn’t. Things went sideways. But we are happy to report, as per our last bar tab, which included a seafood tower and many martinis: The people want to party. You’ll see proof of it in many of the new bars on this year’s list. They’re just a little more special. You don’t go there for the ’Gram. You may see someone in a white tux. You don’t just pop in for a drink after work. You go to feel like it’s your birthday even though it’s just a Tuesday. Can you still simply get a drink in peace after a hard day? Yes. Always. We have bars for that purpose on this list, too. But should you find yourself eyeing those nice pants? Wear them. Text a friend or three. And go. [Read the Full Story]( How We Dad Now Dads have made damn good progress. We're more involved than ever; we understand the assignment. But let's not pat ourselves on the back. Certainly not as we claw our way out of a pandemic that's altered everything about the way we live our lives. It's high time to ask the knotty questions about raising kids, the ones you've only dared to ponder with your partner or your closest friends or even just yourself. Because, let's be honest, parenting is as terrifying as it is joyful, and sometimes you worry so much that you might just pee your pants. So we did just that. (Posed the questions, not peed ourselves—yet.) The answers we received, on the pages that follow, will teach you a thing or two—the good, the bad, the meconium-tinged ugly—about what it means to be a caring, supportive, badass dad today. [Read the Full Story]( Line of Trade's Breezy Summer Shirt Will Make You a Seersucker Convert For a long time, I avoided seersucker. I just didn’t get it. To me, it smacked of the old South and dumb congressional stunts—no one needs Seersucker Day, not one single person—and seemed to have no reasonable place in my wardrobe. I wasn’t a hater, necessarily, but a devoted avoider. Since those days, two crucial things have happened. The climate in New York City, where I live, has shifted from humid continental to humid subtropical, making it even grosser in the summer. And designers and brands ranging from the super high-end to the eminently attainable have started messing around with seersucker, rendering it more modern, more wearable, and cooler than ever before. Which brings me to Line of Trade’s Churchill seersucker shirt. It’s available in three colorways (none of which are the traditional blue and cream), and it’s so good that it might convince you, like it has me, to become a seersucker convert. [Read the Full Story]( For Whom Does the American Flag Fly? You couldn’t not notice it: a multitude gathered one morning at an A gate of Phoenix’s Sky Harbor Airport, waving little American flags, recording on their cell phones, laying a soundtrack of exuberant cheers. Intrigued or just nosy, I stopped for a look-see, noticed that walls behind the gate desk were adorned with red-white-and-blue bunting, that other walls featured a slogan saluting all those who serve and their families, that the area was also bedecked with flags: an American flag along with those representing the Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines, Coast Guard, even the one for POW/MIA. Yonder, an agent stood at the mouth of the Jetway and called out the deplaning passengers as if announcing the Suns playoff starters: “From the U. S. Air Force staff . . . !” “From the U. S. Navy . . . !” “Electronics technician first class . . . !” First-class petty officer . . . !” “USS MissionBay rank third class . . . !” Given their hoary hair, their wrinkled mugs, and the fact that some of them caned out of the jet bridge or were pushed in a wheelchair, I surmised that all who exited had earned the honorific of veteran. It heartened me to see that kind of appreciation for our veterans, so much so that I dawdled past my first urge to leave, so much so that I joined in rounds of applause. Though my enthusiasm was sincere, truth be told, it was also tempered. Matter fact, had somebody tried to hand me a little mini flag, I might’ve refused it and for damn sure would’ve been reluctant to wave it. [Read the Full Story]( The Best Books of 2022 (So Far) Congratulations, dear reader: we’ve made it to another great season in books. Whether you read like the wind this spring or fell short of your goals, summer is peak reading season, meaning that it's a new lease on life, a new you, and a whole new slate of releases to devour. Whether you’re looking to understand our current moment through rigorous nonfiction or escape it through otherworldly plots, 2022’s crop of new titles offer something for readers of every persuasion. Our favorite books of the year so far run the gamut of genres, from epic fantasy to literary fiction, and tackle a constellation of subjects. If you want to read about spaceships, talking pigs, or supervillains, you’ve come to the right place. [Read the Full Story]( Follow Us [Unsubscribe]( | [Privacy Notice/Notice at Collection]( esquire.com ©2022 Hearst Magazine Media, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Hearst Magazines, 300 West 57th Street, New York, NY 10019

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