We're still debating bringing babies to restaurants?

The problem could go beyond etiquette. [View on web]( [A family of two adults and one child sits in a brewery's outdoor seating area. While one parent accepts a beer from a waiter, the other stares fondly at the child. Meanwhile, the child looks cheekily at the camera, equally curious, cautious, and amused.]( Bringing children to restaurants and bars requires some forethought. | Toronto Star via Getty Images Within a recent Resy confirmation was a request I’d never seen before. “To respect the comfort and experience” of all the restaurant’s guests, the restaurant kindly requested that everyone dining be at least eight years old. Eight seems like such an arbitrary age, perhaps not old enough to be able to sit through a restaurant meal without needing distraction, but not young enough to just sleep through it. If the restaurant is trying to keep things sophisticated, I’m not sure this is the solution. The question of whether or not kids should be allowed at restaurants is kind of moot, as it’s generally a self-solving one that parents ultimately decide. In the New Yorker, [Helen Rosner recently wrote]( of how parents usually suss out if a restaurant has a baby-friendly vibe — “maybe there’s enough space between the tables to tuck a folded-up stroller, or a particularly cheery and laid-back waitstaff” — and how it’s a welcome reprieve for parents who enjoy dining out but don’t want to feel like the entire waitstaff is just waiting for them to leave. There are plenty of [guides that already exist]( for [how to dine]( out with children. And honestly, a baby is not going to be throwing a gooey spoon across Eleven Madison Park. Still, I’ve certainly watched enough children run around restaurants unsupervised and nearly have trays of hot food clatter on them to understand why some restaurants may not want the trouble. Restaurants have [long bemoaned]( the difficulty of accommodating children. Nettie’s House of Spaghetti in New Jersey [recently sparked controversy]( for banning children under the age of 10, saying “between noise levels, lack of space for high chairs, cleaning up crazy messes, and the liability of kids running around the restaurant, we have decided that it’s time to take control of the situation.” At least it made the policy explicit instead of giving parents with young kids crappy treatment all night. This debate, such that it even is one, ties into the larger issue of children in public in general, where they could experience all manner of uncontrolled influences. Legislation across the country is attempting to curtail that. [Restaurants that offer drag brunch]( in states that ban “sexually explicit performances” and “adult cabaret performances” taking place in public or in front of children have had to reckon with either barring children or [barring queer performance.]( Again, it’s pretty easy to tell which drag performances are kid-friendly and which are for more mature audiences; the laws use children as a shield to keep queerness out of public life. Unless a restaurant or diner can get rid of anti-drag laws, there’s not one “solution” they can use here except to be more kind to each other, more welcoming of children in general, and more understanding that some gatherings are not for them. And again, this isn’t really as crucial a problem as Instagram or Yelp comments sections might have you believe. If you’re trying to find a restaurant that will accommodate children, or one that will accommodate a more adult night out, you’ll know it when you see it. More reading: - Here’s a [guide from Vogue]( on how to dine out with your kids in a way that gets them excited about restaurants, and not just the iPad you brought to distract them. - Thankfully, drag bans across the country are [being ruled unconstitutional](. - [A great piece]( about snack closets providing food and safe havens for queer youth. - Here’s why your coffee is [getting more expensive](. If you like this email, please forward it to a friend. If you aren't signed up for this newsletter, you can [do so right here](. — Jaya Saxena, correspondent  [Learn more about RevenueStripe...]( [Facebook]( [Twitter]( [Instagram]( This email was sent to {EMAIL}. Manage your [email preferences]( or [unsubscribe](param=today). View our [Privacy Notice]( and our [Terms of Service](. Vox Media, 1201 Connecticut Ave. NW, Floor 11, Washington, DC 20036. Copyright © 2023. All rights reserved.