Truths observed at the intersection of faith and life by Crosswalk.com editors
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That Boy Dating Your Daughter Is More Than a Nuisance
by Shawn McEvoy
Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts⦠- [Psalms 95:7-8](
My little girl will turn eight in a week, and believe it or not⦠I'm looking forward to the day she starts bringing boys home.
Oh, believe me, there's no rush. I'm happy to remain Numero Uno in little Lauren's eyes as long as possible. All I'm really saying here is that I believe in her, in how she's being raised, in how she's taking after her mother. Whoever she brings home - I'm confident saying - is not going to be a person without redeeming qualities.
So what has me so primed for this experience that I don't sound like the typical dad at the door with a sneer and a shotgun? What else? The experience of having been valued and trusted myself.
Twenty-three years ago I didn't know it, but I became part of a family. The McGriffs were a very unique family. When I met their eldest daughter, Dick and Susan had just remarried each other after having divorced each other. I never knew all the details, only that this was their first example to me of it never being too late, of recognizing wrongs and repenting.
They took to me right away, but don't get the impression that they didn't lay down the law or have rules. It was the way they imposed them - agreeably, fairly, seriously - that made so much of a difference. It's not even that they didn't try to "change" me - to be perfectly honest they did try: suggesting Christian alternatives to my secular music, suggesting viewed-at-their-home Cary Grant movies to the ones I would have preferred taking their daughter to the theater to see, giving us five minutes after a date to say goodnight before the front lights would be flicked on and off signaling that, okay, that's enough now.
I dated Malia for four-and-a-half years, off and on. During that time I built memories, house-sat for their family, came to cherish younger sisters Michelle and Amy like they were my own. Oh, like most young couples our relationship wasn't perfect; we would fight and make things more difficult than they had to be, just as I continue to do. But from her folks there was always instruction, encouragement, solidity. Laughs and firm handshakes. Always trust regardless.
Thanks to Facebook, I've regained contact with these three sisters, observed how their family has grown, and chuckled at the way they continue to interact despite living all over the country (Malia in particular had the most amazing talent for taking tense situations and making them laughable, one I'm told she still has, one that is a story for another time). I sent them the following email:
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