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But He’s Bothering Me - Encouragement for Today - October 5, 2018
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Peace and perspective from God's timeless truths. Encouragement for Today --------------------------
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Peace and perspective from God's timeless truths.
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Encouragement for Today
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[Arlene Pellicane]
October 5, 2018
But Heâs Bothering Me
[ARLENE PELLICANE](
âThe tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.â [Proverbs 18:21]( (NIV)
Just a few days before my birthday my husband, James, started saying little comments that were getting under my skin. They werenât even about getting older, but they still bothered me. We both felt under the weather, and some of his comments (even said jokingly) started to drive me crazy.
I could feel the tension mounting and teased him back. When I was by myself, I simply prayed, âGod, change me. My husband is bugging me. Help me not to overreact. Help me communicate to him the things that bother me, and then help me forget about it.â
God answered my prayer that day â I was less touchy and able to calmly talk with James. I realized afterward that if I kept a soft heart toward God, it would result in me having a soft heart toward my husband. The reverse is also true: When I harden my heart toward my husband, I also harden my heart toward God. There is a correlation between my relationship with God and my relationship with others.
Our heart-health and our word-health are connected.
Todayâs key verse, [Proverbs 18:21]( says, âThe tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.â What we say often returns back to us, either adding to our lives or subtracting from it. Our speech has consequences in marriage and in all our relationships.
The previous verse sheds more light on the power of words, âFrom the fruit of their mouth a personâs stomach is filled; with the harvest of their lips they are satisfiedâ ([Proverbs 18:20]( NIV). When our words are truthful and gracious, weâre nourished by them. When they are hurtful and untrue, we starve our souls.
You and I canât control the words of our spouses (or others close to us), but we can control the words that come out of our mouths. During casual, daily conversations, do we use a tone thatâs kind? Will we use our words as weapons against others to retaliate when they step on our toes? Or will we use our words to heal and restore?
Thankfully, itâs possible to change the tongueâs bad habits by the power of the Holy Spirit.
If you have a history of snapping at your husband, family members, or friends in anger, you donât have to live enslaved to outbursts. You donât want to stuff your feelings, but you do want to learn how to communicate in a constructive â not destructive â way.
How can you tell the difference? Letâs say I want to tell my husband I was upset by the way he brushed off my last comment about his latest big purchase.
Constructive words: Honey, I am trying to be more responsible with money. But it didnât feel like you were listening to my concerns. Is there a better time for us to talk? Can we come to an agreement about saving money?
Destructive words:Â I donât know why I bother trying to reason with you. When I have an opinion, you just shut me down. You donât care about how I view our finances. You make decisions all the time without considering my feelings.
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