The Bill Burr Rant That Trashed Alt Comedy

Plus: 30 Companies That Couldn’t Find Their Rear Ends With Both Hands                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 February 28, 2024 | [Read Online]( [fb]( [tw]( [in]( [email](mailto:?subject=Post%20from%20Cracked%20Newsletter&body=The%20Bill%20Burr%20Rant%20That%20Trashed%20Alt%20Comedy%3A%20%0A%0Ahttps%3A%2F%2Fcracked.beehiiv.com%2Fp%2Fbill-burr-rant-trashed-alt-comedy) Welcome to the Cracked newsletter! This issue is about CDs worth bank, unsolved mysteries, U.S. landmarks, wild lies, and much more. Was this email forwarded to you? [Subscribe here](. [The Best Jokes and Burns About the Alabama Frozen Embryo Ruling]( Last week, [the Alabama Supreme Court ruled]( that frozen embryos, lumpy clumps of cells mere millimeters long, are, legally, indistinguishable from actual human children. This shocking story prompted outrage across the country, as well as questions like, “How ugly are the kids in [Alabama](?” Following the controversial decision, fertility clinics across the [Heart of Dixie]( have been scrambling to arrange daycare for the thousands of frozen embryos while they shop for school clothes in a size microscopic — actually, they’ve [been shutting their doors]( as the state prepares for what will presumably be a mass exodus of reproductive health professionals who don’t want to face child endangerment or infanticide charges should they ever accidentally drop a test tube. [READ MORE]( [The Bill Burr Rant That Trashed Alt Comedy]( It’s the 2012 comedian feud you may never have heard of — the alt comics vs. the club stand-ups. In one corner, the hipsters in skinny jeans and Buddy Holly glasses were playing to a room of people who looked just like them. In the other corner, the hard-working club comics slung punchlines in front of a brick wall, working the room and taking on the hecklers. [Bill Burr]( was firmly in the latter group, and in 2012, he’d had enough of the “nerds” who condescended to the regular joes who told good, old-fashioned jokes for a living. “I really can’t wait for the backlash on nerds,” [Burr ranted on hisÂ]([Monday Morning Podcast](. (He preached similar versions of this sermon in other [interviews of the time](.) “I’ve had it with them embracing the fact that they’re awkward to the point of pretending to be awkward even when you’re not.” He described this kind of comic as a guy “f***ing 35 years old, walking around acting like some 14-year-old on his first date.” [READ MORE]( 30 Easter Eggs Laid By What We Can Only Imagine Is Some Kind of Bunny 12 Pieces of Trivia Small Enough to Swallow Without Chewing 33 Lies That Seem Impossible to Say With A Straight Face, But Here We Are 7 CDs You Probably Owned, Threw Out and Now Are Worth Bank 39 Unsolved Mysteries You Might Want to Take a Crack At 5 Questions About U.S. Landmarks We Bet You Can’t Answer 30 Companies That Couldn’t Find Their Rear Ends With Both Hands TWEET OF THE DAY [ARTICLES | PICTOFACTS | VIDEOS]( [fb]( [tw]( [ig]( [yt]( [tk]( Update your email preferences or unsubscribe [here]( © 2024 COPYRIGHT © 2005-2023 Cracked is published by Literally Media Ltd. 190 West St. Brooklyn, New York 11222, United States of America