All the Petty Reasons Jerry Dumped a Woman on ‘Seinfeld’

Also: Trivia to Fuel Your Monday  Welcome to the Cracked newsletter! This issue is about Jerry's petty breakups, the recliner of rage, George Santos dunks, and strange trivia. [‘Seinfeld’: All the Reasons Jerry Dumped a Woman, Ranked by Pettiness]( During the Season Seven premiere of [Seinfeld]( Jerry comes to a realization about [his dating life](. “What are we doing?” he asks [George]( at the coffee shop. “What kind of lives are these? We’re like children. We’re not men. We come up with all these stupid little reasons to break up with these women. We’re pathetic!” Afterward, he and George form a pact to grow up. In an attempt to remain true to their word (at least temporarily), George gets engaged to his ex-girlfriend Susan, while Jerry briefly reunites with Melanie, a woman he dumped for shushing him. But Jerry quickly walks back his transformation when he dumps Melanie for eating her peas one-at-a-time. It’s one of the pettiest breakups over the show’s nine seasons, but is it the pettiest? And were all of Jerry’s breakups really that petty? [READ MORE]( [A Perfectly Calm Oral History of ‘Pierre Bernard’s Recliner of Rage’ from ‘Late Night with Conan O’Brien’]( There’s a lot of anger in America today. From the war in Ukraine to our contentious elections, tempers are running high in this country. It’s been like this for decades, but back in the early 2000s, America had a voice that knew just how to articulate our anger for us. That voice belonged to Pierre Bernard, a graphic artist on [Late Night with Conan O’Brien]( who starred in a series of sketches known as “Pierre Bernard’s Recliner of Rage.” From the comfort of a recliner, Pierre would rail upon the big questions that plagued our society — from the lack of availability of certain, very specific art supplies, to the fact that Mallomars cookies are only sold seasonally. He also took it to his least favorite character on Stargate SG-1 and went on a tirade when his bobbleheads wouldn’t bobble properly. [READ MORE]( More Late Night Reads: - [The 15 Best Props, Gimmicks and Recurring Gags in the History of Late Night]( - [5 Unexpected Ways Late Night Talk Shows Changed Everything]( - [13 Rules for Writing Jokes for Late Night]( - [5 Things Every Late Night Comedy Host Needs]( - [15 Late-Night Appearances For The Hall Of Fame]( [Biopics About Famous Comedians That Were Full of Sh*t]( [The Best George Santos Dunks So Far]( [15 Weird and Wonderful Bits of Trivia We Ran Into Last Week]( [‘Community’ Movie Parody Episodes, Ranked]( [14 Iliza Shlesinger Jokes for the Hall of Fame]( [The Most Shockingly Irresponsible TV Therapists]( [15 Bizarro Bits of Trivia About Moonquakes, Politically Motivated Carrots, and Fran Drescher’s Alien Abduction]( [Winners and Losers from Last Week’s ‘Saturday Night Live’ With Michael B. Jordan]( [How a Writer’s Strike Birthed Saturday Night Live’s Famous ‘Da Bears’ Sketch]( [5 Dogs Who Just Would Not Die]( [The Absolute Worst Stuff Michael Did to Toby on ‘The Office’]( [How 14 Sitcoms Addressed (Or Ignored) Major World Events]( [The ‘Everything Everywhere All at Once’ Directors Read Their Worst Letterboxd Reviews]( [15 Bits Of Trivia About Dwindling Friendships, "Platonic Parenting," And The Bart Simpson Bans]( TWEET OF THE DAY [fb]( [tw]( [yt]( [Logomark_DIGITAL_Red_50X50-px]( [insta png]( [tiktok png]( [ARTICLES]( | [PICTOFACTS]( | [Videos]( Literally media Ltd. 190 West St, Suite 17B, Brooklyn NY 11222 COPYRIGHT © 2005-2022 Cracked is published by Literally Media Ltd. This email was sent to {EMAIL} [why did I get this?]( [unsubscribe from this list]( [update subscription preferences]( Literally Media · 190 West St Ste 17B · Brooklyn, NY 11222-3855 · USA