dog go boom

a man scorned The Tale Of The Taxidermist And The Exploding Dog For today’s story, we’re going all the way back to 1878, to an edition of the San Francisco News Letter and California Advertiser. The “town crier” section of the paper included such anecdotes as a group of stock brokers accidentally serenading a hospital for sick children (thinking a beautiful woman lay within), a woman coming to the paper and asking them to publish a poem (the paper refused and instead publicly shamed the poet), and the tale of the taxidermist and the exploding dog. “A horrible tragedy has just been enacted at San Francisco,” said the paper, “and which illustrates man’s perfidy and woman’s fatal sin of curiosity.” A woman broke off an engagement with a taxidermist. “He discovered who his dread rival was and reproached the faithless sweetheart for her perfidy.” At this point, the story has used the word perfidy twice in three sentences, to describe two different people, so you’d be forgiven for quitting reading right here. The woman’s small pet dog attacked the man, who killed it with a cane. You’ll remember that the man was a taxidermist, so he took the dead dog and stuffed it and returned it to his ex, with one warning: Don’t scorch its tail. She thought this was a weird instruction and didn’t pay close heed to it. She soon did allow the stuffed dog close to a candle flame, with did scorch its tail. “Our innumerable intelligent readers can imagine what followed,” said the paper, showing shocking optimism about our deductive powers. Because this story actually ends with the revelation that the man had put an entire pint of nitroglycerine inside the dog, and when the tail caught fire, it lit a fuse, and the explosive blew up in the woman’s face. The man then arrived and retrieved a piece of her as a souvenir. Why should anyone believe this entirely absurd story? Well, maybe you shouldn't. But for those of you who assume that the paper simply printed lies, they actually offered a separate section of the edition titled “lies of the day.” “It is not true that the Chinese Embassy, per City of Tokyo, have been tendered a public reception by the Workingmen’s party,” says this section. “That William Ward will counsel his English friends next time he takes them to a theater. That Mr. F— left his chamber door unlocked at the Palace last Tuesday night.” You may think we’ve developed complex levels of sarcasm and irony in the 21st century, but we’ve got nothing on the 1870s. For more romance gone wrong, check out: - [5 Romantic Ways To Get Revenge on That Special Someone]( - [A Wife Gets Her Husband to Pay a Fake Ransom ... Over and Over]( - [Marriage Counseling, Swedish Style]( Top image: [James Heilman, MD]( Daily Digest [Kanye Doesn’t Get Why Anthony Jeselnik Isn’t Canceled, But He Is]( By Keegan Kelly / October 26th, 2022 [Reminder: Casper The Friendly Ghost Is A Giant Creep]( By JM McNab / October 26th, 2022 [‘It’s The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown’ Has Become A Bee-Hive For Stupid Parent Complaints]( By Keegan Kelly / October 26th, 2022 [Last-Minute Halloween Costume Ideas For The 5 Men Having Sex With My Wife]( By Eli Yudin / October 26th, 2022 [Tales from the Comedy Road from Jerry Seinfeld's Favorite Standup]( By Matt Solomon / October 26th, 2022 [READ MORE]( [fb]( [tw]( [yt]( [Logomark_DIGITAL_Red_50X50-px] [insta png]( [tiktok png]( [ARTICLES]( | [PICTOFACTS]( | [Videos]( Literally media Ltd. 190 West St, Suite 17B, Brooklyn NY 11222 COPYRIGHT © 2005-2022 Cracked is published by Literally media Ltd. Want to change how you receive these emails? You can [update your preferences]( or [unsubscribe from this list](. ONE CRACKED FACT | [View in browser](