Our Wild Wizarding World

From 'Harry Potter' to history [View this email in your browser]( [04162022-header] The new [Fantastic Beasts]( movie comes out this weekend, and while it might not be [any good](, it's making us look back at the [whole wizarding series](. Harry Potter had [good parts](, and parts that [made no sense](, plenty of [celeb fans](, and of course plenty of [other fans]( who [were nuts](. We of course can't forget about creator [J.K. Rowling](, even if many people [want to](. And there are plenty of [other wizarding books]( to look to, and [movies](, as well as [real wizards](from [history](, and [real magic wands]( ... [sort of](. Here's a look back at the facts we learned this week. The links all lead to full articles with much more info, so click [every one]( that interests you, because we inserted one piece of our soul in each. [smc_features-01] [04162022-1]( [15 Harry Potter Plot Holes You Could Fly a Broom Through]( The wizarding world is such a complicated place that it was bound to get swallowed up in a Devil’s Snare of contradictions. J.K. Rowling’s backtracking addiction is a running joke in the fandom, but she couldn’t explain everything, and sometimes, she only made things worse.​​​​ [Read it here](. Now let's nitpick some more: - [The first book's chess puzzle makes no darn sense](. The teachers "protect" their magic stone by assigning series of challenges ... and providing a simple solution for each challenge [right next to it](. - [Harry's a millionaire, and the story keeps ignoring this.]( If he's gonna keep turning down opportunities to splurge, there was really [no need to make him a millionaire]( at all. [04162022-2]( [12 Real-Life 'Wizards' From History]( Although their magic may not (okay, definitely wasn't) real, the actual humans were. And some, like Nicholas Flamel and Rasputin, because fictional characters themselves, which isn't helping us sort out fact from fiction any more easily. [Read it here](. And other "real" wizards: - [The Salem Witch Trials also targeted wizards](. They put one farmer to death by piling rocks on him, and the brave guy just kept shouting at them, "[More rocks!](" - [Ancient art used to depict Jesus wielding a magic wand](. He was a [skilled wizard](, people figured. - [Aleister Crowley was the sex wizard who Mussolini kicked out of Italy](. His interest in the occult led him to the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn, a [secret society]( focused on exploring the supernatural, founded by three Freemasons. [04162022-3]( [Fantastic Beasts Forgot To Do The Thing That Made Harry Potter Succeed]( This is now the dullest major movie franchise with the word "Fantastic" in the title, which is no small feat given the competition. It's like this series just sorta ... forgot what it was that made the Harry Potter movies work in the first place. [Read it here](. That's not the only way the series drifted: - [The Harry Potter books were surprisingly good detective stories](. At least until halfway through the series, when they [abruptly dropped]( the mystery format. - [Fantastic Beasts is failing the exact same way The Hobbit did](. A 100-page textbook is not a good basis for a [trilogy](. [04162022-4]( [J.K. Rowling Gave Her Dad A Harry Potter First Edition, And He Promptly Sold It]( "Lots of love from your first born," it said, followed by nine x's, for kisses. He put it up for auction, along with six other books she'd gifted him. This was highly irresponsible of him, both from both a parental angle and a financial one. [Read it here](. More manuscript madness: - [Harry Potter had a prequel, which was stolen](. We don't mean plagiarized, we mean stolen—a burglar broke in and took it, and [police never recovered it](. [04162022-5]( [Wizarding World Map: 15 Real-Life Harry Potter Spots]( The events of the Harry Potter series are ostensibly limited to London, Hogwarts, and the magical railroad connecting them, but it turns out their real-world counterparts are farther flung than J.K. Rowling’s attempts at retcon. Some of them are even realer than you could ever imagine. [Read it here](. For other intersections with the real world: - [Intel filed a patent for a magic wand](. You could use the wand to control your devices, or to [fight duels](, and yet they never quite put the product into production. - [Harry Potter fans nearly ruined a real-life cemetery](. Tourists keep treating the grave of one "Tom Riddell" like it's Voldemort's. [04162022-6]( [50 Cent Bet $750K That Floyd Mayweather Couldn't Read One Page Of A Harry Potter Book]( It was a challenge 50 genuinely believed Floyd couldn't manage. Because it appears that Floyd Mayweather can't read, or at least can't read very well. Mayweather didn't seem up for it, 50 eased up and said Floyd could instead just read The Cat in the Hat. [Read it here](. More celeb wizardry: - [Sam Neil played Merlin the Wizard in a '90s miniseries smash hit.]( If you saw it, you know what we're talking about, but if not, you'll be shocked by [just how huge](this thing was. [04162022-7]( [The 5 Stages Of Grief (For When Our Favorite Creators Suck)]( Can Rowling, the author of Harry Potter, ever be truly separated from Rowling, the author of a bunch of bigoted, highly-inaccurate blog posts? The answer goes beyond Rowling: Lots of our favorite creators turn out to be very different in real life. [Read it here](. And other stuff for those boycotting: - [In the Witcher books, Ciri gets romantic with a woman](. You might not have seen that side of her from the [TV show or the games](. - [Fantastic Beasts continues China's trend of censoring gay characters](. Warner Bros. agreed to remove the two lines of dialogue referencing Dumbledore's homosexuality there, [at the request of the Chinese government.]( [fb]( [tw]( [yt]( [Logomark_DIGITAL_Red_50X50-px] [insta png]( [tiktok png]( Literally media Ltd. 190 West St, Suite 17B, Brooklyn NY 11222 COPYRIGHT © 2005-2021 Cracked is published by Literally media Ltd. [Unsubscribe](