Family Fights and Finding Peace | Marriage & Family

[Also: What Science Tells Us About Resolving Conflicts] Also: What Science Tells Us About Resolving Conflicts | [View online]( [ChristianityToday.org]( [Beautiful Word Newsletter]( Thursday, January 04, 2018 Family Fights and Finding Peace Over the past year, I've begun to realize on a deeper level how profoundly I've misunderstood peace for most of my life. I've essentially thought of peace as [the absence of conflict]( in family life, peace has meant "everyone getting along" and experiencing exclusively positive feelings for one another. There's nothing like Christmas break to shatter those (unrealistic) expectations! Amid the recent family joys of celebrating Christ's birth and the giving and receiving of gifts, we've also spent a lot of time together and have given and received annoyance, moodiness, impatience, resentment, and any number of huffs, sighs, and angry looks. If you have kids, you know exactly what I mean. This is the reality of life as a family: flawed human beings living in close proximity, letting each other down as we do our best to love one another. In this week's [featured article]( Amy and Trevor Simpson argue that real love actually means embracing family conflict rather than avoiding it or seeing it as inherently negative. It's in working through those inevitable conflicts that we build toward a real understanding of peace. I've also included two additional resources that speak to family conflict: [an excerpt]( from CT's 2018 Book Award winner, Liturgy of the Ordinary by Tish Harrison Warren, in which she shares candidly about God's work in the midst of marital conflict, as well as a [science-based essay]( about conflict and listening. In my own family life, I'm learning there's a great deal of spiritual health in both expecting and accepting flaws and fights and failings because they offer us the gift of opportunity. They are an invitation to actively embody the grace of Christ to one another, the humility required for honest apology, and the love that powers real forgiveness. Grace, mailto:tcw@christianitytoday.com [Kelli Trujillo](mailto:tcw@christianitytoday.com) [Kelli B. Trujillo](mailto:tcw@christianitytoday.com) Editor, CT Women Sponsored by Tyndale [Press Pause & Live LIFE]( Time is flying by with our kids! Want to teach Biblical truths to help your teens and tweens with their future decision making? You still have time! Here's how... Featured Article [4 Reasons to Embrace Family Conflict]( Your family is worth fighting for. Amy & Trevor Simpson Additional Articles [Fighting with My Husband and the Work of Shalom]( Do I proclaim radical love for the world even as I neglect to care for those closest to me? Tish Harrison Warren Science [Why We Argue Best with Our Mouths Shut]( Science reveals the power of being quick to listen and slow to speak. Christine Herman More from CT Women [Millennials Can Leave Evangelicalism. But Not Its Pop Culture.]( [Millennials Can Leave Evangelicalism. But Not Its Pop Culture.]( Does the cottage industry around Christian subculture nostalgia reveal the church's failures—or its successes? Morgan Lee [CT Women's Top 10 Articles of 2017: Kay Warren, Joni Eareckson Tada, and More]( [CT Women's Top 10 Articles of 2017: Kay Warren, Joni Eareckson Tada, and More]( Readers rank the best posts of the year. The editors Related CT Newsletters [CT Entertainment]( Reviews and perspectives on movies, TV, and music. [Sign Up Now]( [CT Weekly]( Weekly headlines, commentary, and site news. 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