💪 The myth of the self-made man

Put the hater list away and give thanks to your biggest fans. [READER]( The Daily Reader November 21, 2023 Let me set the scene. It’s a recent community meeting—somewhere in Bridgeport. The topic is migrants coming to Chicago and the need to help the migrants find their way in a new place that might seem so cold and hostile. And a resident takes the mike and effectively says, in a (more or less) friendly tone, “Why do we have to do anything for them? Nobody did anything for my family.” It’s a variation on a theme I’ve heard many times. Not from this woman at the mike—I never met her before. But from others. Many others. The theme goes like this . . . “I did it on my own. Nobody helped me. If I can do it, why can’t they?” In reality, it’s a lie. OK, that’s strong. Maybe not a lie. More like a myth—the myth of the self-made man. It’s a fairy tale we tell ourselves to make us feel better or justified about not helping others. We all know it's not true. We all know we’re not self made. At least, not totally self made. And that somewhere or sometime someone gave us a break or assistance when we needed it the most. If we were honest, we would admit it. Especially now, this being the Thanksgiving season. A moment when we're supposed to express gratitude and give thanks. That is sort of the whole point of this holiday. There are also the people on the other side of the coin, so to speak. That is, the ones who go out of their way to deter us for one hateful reason or another. What’s the opposite of Thanksgiving? You know, that special day of the year where we stew over old grudges, cuss out the dirty dogs who’ve done us wrong, and fantasize about what we should have told them to put them in their place? Oh, yes. I think that’s called . . . the other 364 days of the year. On that hateful list, I include… Wait! This is Thanksgiving. I’ll put the hater list on the back burner and take a moment to thank three people, all of whom have died. A great boss (John McDermott), a great teacher (Mrs. Roane), and a great high school counselor (Mrs. Brown). They were three people who believed in me before I believed in myself. And that’s just three. There are many others. I’m sure you have your own list of people who helped you. Don’t be afraid to give them a shout-out, even if you’re the only one who hears it. It doesn’t diminish the significance of your achievements to thank the people who made them happen. Peace. 🎙Listen to [The Ben Joravsky Show]( 🎙 [What Ben's Reading] [Secrets Typed in Blood]( by Stephen Spotswood: a pretty funny mystery novel set in 1940s New York City. [DMB (Debbie-Marie Brown)]( on contract fights at Howard Brown Health and Berlin Nightclub. [Ben Joravsky]( (1988) on Evanston’s dogs. [Best of the Ben J. Show]( [Juan González]( Democracy Now! cohost and one of America’s great journalists, explains the migrant “crisis” Author and Roosevelt University associate professor [David Faris]( on House Speaker Mike Johnson Advance the Electorate PAC cofounder [Chris Scott]( explains Texas and Ohio [RICJ Racial Justice Writers’ Room Fall Cohort Concludes]( The six members of this season’s cohort celebrated, pitched story ideas to media professionals. by [Chicago Reader]( | [R]( → [POTUS is painfully funny]( The women behind the man in the Oval Office have a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. by [Kerry Reid]( | [Read here]( → [Seduced, abandoned, and excellent]( Lise Davidsen makes a stunning Lyric debut in Jenůfa. by [Deanna Isaacs]( | [Read here]( → [At the upcoming Bonyeon, chef Sangtae Park will have a hundred tastes in his head]( The couple behind the West Loop’s Omakase Yume and TenGoku Aburiya are opening the first dedicated all-beef tasting menu in the U.S. by [Mike Sula]( | [Read here]( Sweater weather SALE! Don't let Chicago winter get you down: show your love for the Reader by grabbing any sweatshirt for only $25! [GET YOUR GO-TO CREWNECK]( [Issue of Nov. 16 – 29, 2023 Vol. 53, No.]( [VIEW/DOWNLOAD ISSUE [PDF]]( [View this e-mail as a web page]( [@chicago_reader]( [/chicagoreader]( [@chicago_reader]( [Chicago Reader on LinkedIn]( [/chicagoreader]( [chicagoreader.com]( [Forward this e-mail to a friend](. Want to change how you receive these e-mails? You can [update your preferences]( or [unsubscribe from this list](. Copyright © 2023 Chicago Reader, All rights reserved. Our mailing address is: Chicago Reader, 2930 S. Michigan Ave., Suite 102, Chicago, IL 60616