🌚 The dark side of the moon (pie)...

Tales from the dentist [READER]( The Daily Reader 🎃 October 31, 2023 🎃 Not sure how, or when it happened, but . . . I cracked a tooth. My dentist sounded the warning months ago. Actually, the hygienist saw it first. She said I should see a specialist to check it out. And I said, “OK.” Then I put it out of my mind. As I subscribe to that delusionary field of medicine known as “if you pretend it doesn’t exist, it can’t hurt you.” A few months later, I returned to the dentist’s office for a cleaning and the hygienist was a little more concerned. Conversation went like this . . . Hygienist: “Remember that tooth I was telling you about?” Me: “Oh, yes . . .” Hygienist: “Well, now it’s infected. That means there’s an infection in your mouth. Your mouth is in your head. So you have an infection in your head!” And I had a breakdown. A version of the [words of Pink Floyd]( started ringing in my ears. “There’s something in my head, but it’s not me . . .” So I went to the oral surgeon. And she did a great job taking out the cracked tooth and suturing the wound. But the procedure came with a warning. Surgeon: “Don’t eat solids.” Me: “Mwzypth . . .” (That’s sort of how I sounded right after the operation.) Doctor: “No chips. No meat. No seeds. No nuts. No cereal. Just mushy stuff and soup for about five days.” Got it. But . . . I’m having food cravings. I wake up in the middle of the night dreaming of sirloin. I watch basketball and the ball turns into a piece of fried chicken. As I write this, I’m having visions of cheeseburgers. I watched the Bears game with my friend, Cap. The TV announcer was babbling about Bears backup quarterback Tyson Bagent and his head turned into a potato chip. The announcer’s head—not Bagent’s. Bagent’s head turns into a piece of pepperoni pizza. Cap’s an excellent cook. His wife, Deb, came into the TV room with a plate piled with a few of Cap’s delicacies: greens, spaghetti and meat sauce, and fried fish. My mouth watered. “Benny, have some,” said Deb. “The fish is so good.” Trust me, I was tempted. But . . . The cautionary tale of Celeste is like an old song playing over and over in my head. Celeste is one of my wife’s dearest friends. They recently went out to dinner and my wife told her about my tooth. And Celeste told my wife that she had a similar extraction. Only something went wrong. And she got a massive infection. Apparently, some morsel of food got stuck in the wound. And it festered. Beyond that, it’s a mystery that may have involved a Dorito. Who knows? There are few details—it happened years ago. Memories are short. Maybe I’m hallucinating from lack of substantive food and it wasn’t even Celeste. It could have been Gail. Another friend of my wife, who had a tooth removed. Oh, it’s so confusing. And I’m so exhausted. Time out to nourish myself with . . . A pile of mashed-up avocado that I’m eating with a spoon. Uhm. So good. I’m pretending it’s linguini with white clam sauce. “I feel like I’m on the dark side of the moon pie . . .” 🎙Listen to [The Ben Joravsky Show]( 🎙 [What Ben's Reading] Richard Russo’s latest novel—[Somebody’s Fool](. Every novel Russo writes is worth reading. Mike Sula on [Chubby Boy’s Burgers]( [Ben Joravsky]( on Chicago rats I have known [Best of the Ben J. Show]( Writer [Jesse Washington]( on working on Georgetown basketball coach John Thompson’s memoir Chicago Sun-Times columnist [Rummana Hussain]( on hate for migrants in Chicago Block Club Chicago editor [Mick Dumke]( on games the City of Chicago plays [Scary stuff is academic]( Horror Studies, a book series distributed by the University of Chicago Press, presents academic takes on horror’s many facets. by [Dan Kelly]( | [R]( → [A monster of a good time]( Mercury Theater Chicago’s Young Frankenstein offers unabashed silliness and fun. by [Josh Flanders]( | [R]( → [Review: Anatomy of a Fall]( This year’s Palme d’Or winner is a masterclass in suspense. by [Maxwell Rabb]( | [R]( → [Review: The Holdovers]( This thoughtful, rewatchable dramedy is best seen during the holidays. by [Maxwell Rabb]( | [R]( → Turn the music up! [SIGN UP FOR EARLY WARNINGS]( [Issue of Oct. 19 – Nov. 1, 2023 Vol. 53, No. 1]( [VIEW/DOWNLOAD ISSUE [PDF]]( [View this e-mail as a web page]( [@chicago_reader]( [/chicagoreader]( [@chicago_reader]( [Chicago Reader on LinkedIn]( [/chicagoreader]( [chicagoreader.com]( [Forward this e-mail to a friend](. Want to change how you receive these e-mails? You can [update your preferences]( or [unsubscribe from this list](. Copyright © 2023 Chicago Reader, All rights reserved. Our mailing address is: Chicago Reader, 2930 S. Michigan Ave., Suite 102, Chicago, IL 60616