When I was as cool as Kim Kardashian 💄

I’m not going to stand in judgment of anyone who buys her skin-care line.Even if it costs $630. [READER]( At the moment, I’m surprisingly obsessed with Kim Kardashian’s latest venture—her skin-care line. The one made from stuff like “niacinamide, glycolic and lactic acid, shea butter and squalene.” And costs $630. And about which [she recently said]( “If you told me that I literally had to eat poop every single day and I would look younger, I might.” I say I'm surprisingly obsessed with her skin-care line ’cause I realize I’m not the sort of guy you’d think would care about such things. I mean, look at me, people! But I am sympathetic to people who are. In many ways, the brouhaha over Kim’s product reminds me of long-ago conversations I had with my father. This goes back to a time in the early 70s when all I wanted in regard to fashion was two pairs of Chuck Taylors. Black high-tops and white low-tops. Which I dreamed of wearing in rotation—black highs one day, white lows the next—as I walked through the halls of my Evanston high school. Alas, my dream was nixed by my father, who, you might say, put the old in old school. He said there was no difference between Chuck Taylor and whatever knock-off brand they sold at Sears. Which is where he took me to buy sneakers. Said I’d been brainwashed by clever marketing. Said he wasn’t going to throw away his money—and he was the one who paid the sneaker bills back then—on advertising. To prove his point he quoted a guy named Mr. Hallam, who lived down the street from us years before when we lived in Rhode Island. By coincidence, Mr. Hallam was a salesman for a sneakers company. Apparently, he told my father what my father went on to tell me: There’s no difference between one sneaker and another. Except for advertising. I think they were probably drunk when they had that conversation—lots of drinking in those days—if they had that conversation at all. I mean, think about it—it’s awfully convenient to quote Mr. Hallam, a sneaker salesman, on the subject of sneakers. Especially since he wasn't around to refute it. I’m not saying my father made it up, though, come to think of it, maybe that’s exactly what he did. Anyway, he won and I lost the argument. And to Sears we’d go. He’d buy me the knock-offs. And through the halls of Evanston High I’d walk in shame, passing all the cooler kids in their Chuck Taylors. Oh, woe is me. So, I’m not going to stand in judgment of anyone who buys Kim Kardashian’s skin-care line. Even if it costs $630. And you could find a knock-off brand that’s just as good at, say, CVS. I apologize for that last line. It was the old school in me speaking. By the way, a few weeks after I got my first job, I’d saved up enough money to buy two pairs of Chucks—one high, one low. Which I wore in rotation, as I walked through the halls of Evanston High. In my mind, I was as cool as Kim Kardashian. I realize she wasn’t born yet. But you get the idea. Listen to [The Ben Joravsky Show]( [City on Fire]( by Don Winslow. I admit, I love Don Winslow tough-guy novels! This one is about a war between Irish and Italian mobsters in Providence, Rhode Island. Can’t get enough Winslow! [Taryn Allen]( on skateboarding as social practice [Ben Joravsky]( The Mark of Cain [Troy LaRaviere]( on guns in the classroom [Kina Collins and Litesa Wallace]( on running for Congress Alderperson [Jeanette Taylo]( off, MAGA! [Chicago native R.A.P. Ferreira can make you see your everyday in a different way]( by [Leor Galil]( [Romance languages]( Joffrey’s Don Quixote offers “fantastic, frothy fun.” by [Irene Hsiao]( 🎵 Are you signed up for our exclusive "Early Warnings" list? [Get "Early Warnings" sent to your inbox every Tuesday by signing up today!]( [Issue of May 26 - June 8, 2022 Vol. 51, No.]( [Download Issue]( [View this e-mail as a web page]( [@chicago_reader]( [/chicagoreader]( [@chicago_reader]( [Chicago Reader on LinkedIn]( [/chicagoreader]( [chicagoreader.com]( [Forward this e-mail to a friend](. Want to change how you receive these e-mails? You can [update your preferences]( or [unsubscribe from this list](. Copyright © 2022 Chicago Reader, All rights reserved. Our mailing address is: Chicago Reader, 2930 S. Michigan Ave., Suite 102, Chicago, IL 60616