Cheap shot takedown

That loud anguished cry of pain you heard coming from the north? That was Cheeseheads weeping [READER]( You may have heard an anguished cry of pain coming from the north side Saturday afternoon. That was me, receiving news that Alex Caruso—defensive ace for my beloved Chicago Bulls—broke his wrist and would be out for up to eight weeks. Oh, that’s just too passive. Caruso didn’t break his wrist. Grayson Allen, a worthless piece of [beep], broke Caruso’s wrist with a cheap shot takedown in Friday’s game against the Milwaukee Bucks. Now known, by Bulls fans throughout the world, as the much despised Milwaukee Bucks. Somehow Caruso finished the game, broken wrist and all. But an MRI revealed the break and the news hit the Internet on Saturday. Hence the loud moaning sounds coming from my living room—like the groaning of a diseased dog. Making it worse was the reaction of the Bucks. Or, as I mentioned, the despised Milwaukee Bucks. Allen showed no remorse, smirking as he watched a videotape of the play. Bucks coach Mike Budenholzer basically said what’s the big deal. Bucks star Khris Middleton said Allen’s a great guy. The Bucks PR staff mocked the Bulls, tweeting a picture of Allen eating a donut, as though that was his reward. The NBA suspended Allen, but only for one game. Even though Caruso will miss two dozen games—at least. By breaking Caruso’s wrist, Allen basically won the division for the Bucks, which explains why they rewarded him with that donut. For all these reasons, I spent much of Saturday brooding over the unfairness of it all, and feeling utterly helpless as though there was nothing I could do about it. And then . . . I was watching a playoff game between the Packers and the 49ers. That’s the Green Bay Packers—as in Green Bay, Wisconsin. Home state of the Bucks. Up 10-3 with a few minutes left, the heavily favored Packers were getting ready to punt from near their goal line. As the punter prepared for the snap, I had a realization. The time had come for me to manifest something to happen. I watched that Green Bay punter and said to myself—inflict upon that man all the punishment Grayson Allen should have received. I said to myself—inflict upon his team all the shame Budenholzer and Middleton and the Milwaukee publicists should feel for defending Allen’s butchery. I said to myself—make Cheeseheads pay for their evil ways. And into my TV I beamed so many negative vibrations that, I swear, the goal posts at Lambeau Field started to shake. And, boom, just like that, Jordan Willis of the 49ers blocked the punt. And Talanoa Hufanga scooped up the loose ball and scored the touchdown that tied the game. And not long thereafter, 49ers kicker Robbie Gould—the ex-Bear—kicked the game-winning field goal as time expired. And that loud anguished cry of pain you heard coming from the north? That was Cheeseheads weeping because their beloved little Packers lost to the 49ers. Again. And now the Packers were no closer to the Super Bowl than the lowly Bears. I laughed like the evil sea witch Ursula. Call it karmic payback, Wisconsin, for the awfulness of Grayson Allen. But wait, I’m not done. I’m going to manifest the Bulls back to health in time for the playoffs. Look out, Milwaukee. The manifestation has just begun . . . 🏆 [Final voting for Best of Chicago has begun!]( Are you ready to vote for your faves? You've got until February 2! 📨 [Sign up for updates so you don’t miss out on celebrating the things you love]( in the city you love with the Reader! Colson Whitehead’s [Sag Harbor](. Young friends enjoying a summer away from their parents. I didn’t like this book so much when I read it when it first came out in 2009. But I gave it another chance and—bingo. It worked. Annette LePique on [Building 63rd House]( for Chicago Lawn Ben Joravsky on [the Bears](. Or will they be too ashamed by their awful season to accept public money for their new stadium? What do you think? [Sonni and Zero]( talk about organizing Starbucks workers into a union. [Anna Feuer]( talks about Art Institute employees voting to form a union, and Ken Davis talks about the marriage between ‘BEZ and the Sun-Times. [Davis Faris]( is unleashed. Biden’s first year, the Supreme Court as a tool for white supremacy, and a few thoughts about Ukraine and Putin. [The Ben Joravsky Show]( [Listen to The Ben Joravsky Show]( We've wrapped up season one of CQN! Listen back on all ten episodes [here]( or wherever you get your podcasts. [On winter and the built environment]( Writer Anjulie Rao on architecture critics, newsletters, and supporting new voices by [Taylor Moore]( [Open canvas]( Ayanah Moor welcomes viewers into a world of imagination and identity. by [Bridgette M. 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