Anguish at dusk

Oh, my poor, poor Bulls. Who started the season so gloriously promising [READER]( In the last few days, you may have heard howls of anguish at dusk. Don’t be disturbed. They will not harm you. It’s only me on my evening walks, howling in misery over the cruel fate that’s befallen my beloved Bulls. Oh, my poor, poor Bulls. Who started the season so gloriously promising, beating higher-vaunted teams from coast to coast and winning the hearts of new fans in the process. Oh, my poor little Bullies. Who had such great stars as Zach LaVine. DeMarvelous DeMar DeRozan. Ayo—who I was the first to [tell you about](. And so on. Well, in the last few days, the wheel has fallen off of the wagon. The Bulls have been hit, and hit hard, by COVID. At last count, nine Bulls have gone on the COVID list. Which means I have to keep my phone handy just in case the Bulls get so desperate, they ask me to suit up. Don’t laugh. In my prime, I had a decent jump shot from the corner. It got so bad the Bulls signed Stanley Johnson to a ten-day contract to be a live body that they could throw into play. And then he got COVID. Hold it, phone’s ringing. Nope, it’s not the Bulls. They’re not that desperate—yet. At the moment, the following Bulls are on the COVID list: Zach, DeMar, Ayo . . . You know, I can’t get through this list without a howl. AHHHHHHHHHH!!! I’ll tell you what’s going on—it’s a curse. The Jordan Curse. Yes, this is a real thing. Though I may be the only person who knows about it. The Jordan Curse is a curse the Bulls brought on themselves in 1998 by running the greatest basketball player out of town. That would be Michael Jeffrey Jordan. I know, the Bulls swear up and down that they didn’t actually run Jordan out of town. That they wanted to keep the dynasty together. Blah, blah, blah, blah. No one in Chicago believes them. The Jordan Curse works like this . . . As soon as the Bulls are on the cusp of doing something great, calamity strikes. And they fall apart. To give you some examples . . . In 2011, on the verge of beating the dreaded Miami Heat in the conference finals . . . Ömer Aşık breaks his leg. Dreaded Heat defeat the Bulls. In 2012, looking like NBA champs . . . Derrick Rose blows out his knee. Bounced in the first round. In 2015, heading for conference finals . . . Pau Gasol injures his hamstring. Lose to the Cavs. In 2017, up two games to nothing against the Celtics . . . Rajon Rondo breaks his hand. Lose four straight. Season over. And now this. Positioned to be one of the best teams in the NBA . . . Slammed by COVID. Who knows when, or if, they’ll get back to winning. It’s the Chicago version of the Curse of the Bambino. That’s the one the Boston Red Sox inflicted on themselves when they traded the great Babe Ruth. After that the Red Sox didn’t win a World Series for 86 years. If the Jordan Curse lasts that long, it will be—hold on, while I do the calculations . . . 2084 before the Bulls win another championship. By then I’ll be 128 years old. Better eat more vegetables, if I plan to be at that Grant Park celebration. Hold on, here comes a howl . . . AHHHHHHHHHH!!! Feel free to try it yourself, my friends. [Ben Joravsky [signature]]( [One day]( Nominate your favorites, November 17 - December 15]( [I Came As a Shadow]( Thompson’s autobiography. The old coach, who died just before it was published, tells it like it is. Shoutout to coauthor, Jesse Washington. [Sheri Flanders]( on Spielberg’s West Side Story [Ben Joravsky]( files a FOIA to see if Mayor Rahm’s telling the truth [Achy Obejas]( on poetry and politics [Rummana Hussain]( on the Smollett verdict [Monroe Anderson and Peter Goldman]( on The Death and Life of Malcolm X [The Ben Joravsky Show]( [Listen to The Ben Joravsky Show]( We've wrapped up season one of CQN! 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