The Bob Update| Snapshot

What’s up Boo? I feel like I owe ya this one. At least 10 times a day someone asks, “Hey, how’s Bob?” It’s a polite and caring question. And this part sucks to admit…but I also hate when I’m asked this question. I hate it because I don’t know how honest I should be. I hate it because it’s a reminder of a really shitty reality. I hate it because I feel guilty that we aren’t with him. I hate it because Alzheimers is such a horrible disease. “So how is Bob?” I typically reply, “Bob is as well as can be expected.” But today I thought I would give you the full answer… With Alzheimer’s, there is no ‘getting better.’ It’s always a decline, which means the honest answer is: “Bob is worse.” But who wants to hear that? And in case you’re not a [Patreon subscriber]() (where we get a lot more personal) here’s a quick recap. A little more than two years ago, Bret and I agreed we could no longer care for his father the way he needed. We worked with “A Place For Mom” and found the most remarkable home for him. I can’t rave enough about the absolute angels at Belmont. It’s truly remarkable what they do for their residents. [image]( Today, he is physically healthy, but much of the Bob we remember is gone. He doesn’t remember the thousands of young men he mentored, winning 345 games or 8 CIF football championships (two with Bret and two with his grandson, Brock, as quarterback). He doesn’t remember family trips to Hawaii or that everyone looked to him for direction. When you needed help of any kind, you called “coach.” “So how is Bob?” The honest answer involves the painful reality of this disease. Dementia brings up emotions, finances, private family disagreements and discussions about death and quality of life. Bob would hate knowing this was his life. He would have asked us to slip something in his drink years ago. But that’s not a wish we could honor. Alzheimer’s suspends loved ones and family in a state of guilt, exhaustion and perpetual grief; grief with no end, grief with no grave, but your loved one is gone. Alzheimer’s sucks because no one survives it and it often destroys the health of the person’s caretakers in the process. In the beginning stages you can slow its progression, but once Alzheimer's takes hold, there are no alternative treatments and nothing you can do to stop it. Loved ones watch helplessly as it slowly robs its victim of every cherished memory, their achievements, the names of their children, their sense of time and reality. And as the brain slowly forgets how to perform the most basic of tasks, it siphons every drop of their dignity, one day at a time. Alzheimer’s is a slow, devastating, and sad goodbye. Sorry. I know this one is heavy, but you asked and I wanted to give you the full answer. Bob is worse, but Bob is alive. And even though he might not remember what he’s done or the names of his sons, he does smile and laugh and brings so much joy to the staff at Belmont. They all call him “coach.” He sees family often, and his wife is doing much better now. We talked to him on Father’s Day. We told him stories with lots of “F-bombs,” which made him laugh. There are always little glimpses that tell us he’s still there. His essence, his soul, his eternal optimism - it’s crazy how those things still show up. Even in this advanced stage, he is still kind and caring, even to those who today are strangers to him. (On some deep level there is a knowing, a familiarity that puts him at ease when he is with family). To those who have lost a loved one suddenly, I hope this email doesn’t offend you. We know we’re blessed to have such a long time to say goodbye and tell him how much we love him. It is a gift to see his smile and find new ways to bring him joy. So that’s it. That’s the answer. I do appreciate every one of you who has kept Bob, Bret and their family in your prayers. My heart goes out to all the caretakers out there. It’s no joke. If you know someone caring for a sick loved one, send them a text and let them know what an angel they are. Love you, mean it… Chalene PS… If you want to donate I highly recommend [() Follow Us ==//vd790.keap-link006.com/v2/click/5dd7fb47ed43bc5698e0b63ff6da9eac/eJyNkE0LwjAMhv9LzsPVj-nWm4jImHoQPUvZIqvOtLTRIbL_bhXxpOA175MnvLkDIynivAIJ12qSCYjAYamtRuKZIVblK0z6IhkLEUGj6bRw5mJB3r8tf_LntD_MkuFADCLgm8VAbTfTWZGvF_tlvi4CbZULd_5RpZNslKbiY5qvpvkSuu6nGs-a59dg9yDZXfDZq9KhG-9cE_ia2XoZx23b9qwmRoeee6U5x2WtGiQ8mpq8oTi4lLVI1fsdBd5AHlTjsXsAmZZnjA== NOTE: If you would like to stop receiving these weekly Snapshot emails: [Click Here](. We will update your preferences AND you will still receive communications from other brands you may have subscribed to. Want less email? 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