How to cultivate long-term relationships with ourselvesâÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ âÍ Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â [bullet journal]( â â âLove is a verb.â â bell hooks Vienna, Austria
Dear {NAME},
Â
My parents have been happily married for over half a century. As Iâve gotten older and realized just how rare that is, I look to them for clues as to what magic is needed to cultivate such a functional, let alone playful, long-term relationship. Though there are many elements required, two of the most important are no mystery: - Learn what makes them feel loved, appreciated, and supported. - Keep doing those things for the rest of your life together. Both are required because knowing someone's âlove languageâ is very different from speaking it. There are many ways each of us can make those we care for feel like weâre on their team. Letâs call them Acts of Care. Many are very small. Maybe it's kind words, maybe it's flowers, maybe it's notes, or simply doing the dishes. These Acts of Care may be small, but they build big trust â showing them, through our effort, that not only do we care for them, but that weâre really in this with them and have their back. When these Acts of Care are absent or removed and someone feels like the other is no longer on their team, it reliably results in a relationship becoming dysfunctional or falling apart. This leads to a related question: Why are these small acts of care often absent from the longest relationship weâll ever have: the one with ourselves? Though weâll spend the rest of our lives with ourselves, we rarely conceptualize this relationship like we would a long-term relationship with another. We often limit our consideration for our future self to what we want. We fail to consider what our future self will need, especially in the immediate future of tomorrow, or next week, like space, rest, or support. Thatâs where we tend to take shortcuts, and leave a mess. Letâs take untying our shoes as an example. You come home rushed or exhausted and simply slide off your shoes. Now your future self will have to deal with the inconvenience of untying them when theyâre trying to get to work in the morning. This may seem like a really small inconvenience, but this is just one of many sprinkled throughout your life. Over the years, they add up. Also, we know our past self didnât innocently forget, they simply couldnât be bothered. It becomes easy to treat ourselves poorly when it feels like weâre stuck eternally cleaning up after our past self. So what can we do? When we take some time to look, we can find simple ways in which we can show our future self that we are on their team. Ask yourself: What insignificant shortcuts am I taking that make life harder for the person Iâm trying to be? What can I do now to make their life just a little easier then? It begins by avoiding shortcuts like untying your shoes. This is not hypothetical. The few seconds it takes in the present to simply untie my shoelaces after training has had an outsized impact on my future self. I look down every morning now and remember my past self taking that time to do this for me when he was exhausted. He did this because he wants to support who Iâm becoming, what Iâm doing. I feel like he wants me to win, and I canât help but appreciate the effort. It inspires me to be more like him, so I will be by doing something to support my future self. A lot of the baggage that we carry about ourselves accumulated over time. We took small shortcuts that led to unfavorable conditions for who we are and our relationship to ourselves. The good news is we can use the reverse strategy for repairing that relationship. Just as weâre keenly aware of all the shortcuts we take, we can also be aware of all the shortcuts we don't take when we easily could have. We drank water instead of Coke. We laid out the gym clothes before we went to bed. We cleaned up the kitchen before the next morning. We untied the shoes instead of sliding them off. We are acting out of care, over and over again. This week, I invite you to think about three small ways in which you can show your future self that you care about them, that youâre on their team, and you want them to win. Go Team, Ryder The Bullet Board - [Explore creating your own self-care instructions](. Like our plants or our clothing, we also have unique care instructions. In this video Ryder talks about how we can explore and communicate them.
- Become an Affiliate: By becoming a Bullet Journal affiliate, you will get a 10% commission whenever someone uses your code. Active affiliates have a chance to be invited to receive new Bujo® goodies and join us in our love for sharing the gift of Bullet Journal! If youâd like to become a Bullet Journal affiliate, [click here to sign up](. Next in Bujo U: Bujo a Second Brain [Bujo U community]( Each quarter we focus on different themes in [Bujo U](, putting them into practice in Experiments and Book Club.Â
Â
April - June we are exploring the world of Personal Knowledge Management (PKM). How do we collect, store, manage, use, and create from information? If you've ever collected recipes, planned a home project, coordinated a trip, wrote an article, or researched a topic, you likely already have a PKM. Let's refine our process and systems together through a group experiment and Building a Second Brain book club!
Â
By doing these activities together, we hope to put our intentions, goals, and new ideas into actual action to fuel our lives and definitions of Happiness. We invite you to join us. [Get Your 14-Day Free Trial of BuJo U]( Shop [Image of The Pencil]( The Pencil [Shop]( [Image of Stealth Set]( Stealth Set [Shop]( [Image of Pen Bundle]( Pen Bundle [Shop]( [instagram]( [YouTube]( [pinterest]( No longer want to receive these emails? [Unsubscribe](.
Bullet Journal 223 Bedford Avenue #1157 Brooklyn, New York 11211 Can't see this email? [View in Your Browser](