Midweek pick-me-up: Adrienne Rich on relationships

NOTE: This newsletter might be cut short by your email program. [View it in full](.  If a friend forwarded it to you and you'd like your very own newsletter, [subscribe here]( — it's free.  Need to modify your subscription? You can [change your email address]( or [unsubscribe](. [The Marginalian]( [Welcome] Hello {NAME}! This is the midweek edition of [The Marginalian]( by Maria Popova — one piece resurfaced from the sixteen-year archive as timeless uplift for heart, mind, and spirit. If you missed last week's archival resurrection — Seneca on gratitude and what it really means to be a generous human being — you can catch up [right here](. Also worth reading, my [16 life-learnings from 16 years of The Marginalian](. And if my labor of love enriches your life in any way, please consider supporting it with a [donation]( — it remains free and ad-free and alive thanks to reader patronage. If you already donate: I appreciate you more than you know. [FROM THE ARCHIVE | How Relationships Refine Our Truths: Adrienne Rich on the Responsibility of Love]( her [stirring poetry]( to her timeless wisdom on [love, loss, and creativity,]( beloved poet and feminist Adrienne Rich (May 16, 1929–March 27, 2012) endures as one of the most celebrated poets of the twentieth century, a remarkable woman of equal parts literary flair and [political might](. In a monumental manifestation of both, when Rich was awarded prestigious National Medal of Arts in 1997 — the highest honor bestowed upon an individual artist on behalf of the people of the United States — she famously [became the first (and still only) person to decline the honor]( in a protest against the monopoly of power and the government’s proposed plan to end funding for the National Endowment for the Arts. Adrienne Rich But Rich was also a masterful writer of prose at the intersection of the philosophical, the political, and the deeply personal. In her essay titled “Women and Honor: Some Notes on Lying,” originally read at the Hartwick Women Writers’ Workshop in June of 1975 and eventually included in the altogether fantastic anthology [On Lies, Secrets, and Silence: Selected Prose 1966-1978]( ([public library]( Rich adds to [history’s finest definitions of love]( with eloquence that resonates with particularly poignant beauty in these days of [historic change]( for the freedom and dignity of love: An honorable human relationship — that is, one in which two people have the right to use the word “love” — is a process, delicate, violent, often terrifying to both persons involved, a process of refining the truths they can tell each other. It is important to do this because it breaks down human self-delusion and isolation. It is important to do this because in doing so we do justice to our own complexity. It is important to do this because we can count on so few people to go that hard way with us. How beautifully this lends itself to paraphrasing [Rich’s memorable words]( from two decades later — “I don’t think we can separate art from overall human dignity and hope” — to “I don’t think we can separate love from overall human dignity and hope.” [On Lies, Secrets, and Silence]( is indispensable in its entirety. Complement it with Rich on [what “truth” really means]( and her spectacular [convocation address on claiming your education](. [Forward to a friend]( Online]( [Like on Facebook]( donating=loving In 2022, I spent thousands of hours and thousands of dollars keeping The Marginalian ([formerly Brain Pickings]( going. For sixteen years, it has remained free and ad-free and alive thanks to patronage from readers. I have no staff, no interns, not even an assistant — a thoroughly one-woman labor of love that is also my life and my livelihood. If this labor has made your own life more livable this year, please consider aiding its sustenance with a one-time or loyal donation. Your support makes all the difference. monthly donation You can become a Sustaining Patron with a recurring monthly donation of your choosing, between a cup of tea and a Brooklyn lunch.  one-time donation Or you can become a Spontaneous Supporter with a one-time donation in any amount. [Start Now]( [Give Now]( Partial to Bitcoin? You can beam some bit-love my way: 197usDS6AsL9wDKxtGM6xaWjmR5ejgqem7 Need to cancel an existing donation? (It's okay — life changes course. I treasure your kindness and appreciate your support for as long as it lasted.) You can do so [on this page](. KINDRED READINGS: [How to Love: Legendary Zen Buddhist Teacher Thich Nhat Hanh on Mastering the Art of "Interbeing"]( * * * [Games People Play: The Revolutionary 1964 Model of Human Relationships That Changed How We (Mis)Understand Ourselves and Each Other]( * * * [The Third Thing: Poet Donald Hall on the Secret to Lasting Love]( * * * [Relationship Rupture and the Limbic System: The Physiology of Abandonment and Separation]( * * * [Losing Love, Finding Love, and Living with the Fragility of It All]( * * * A SMALL, DELIGHTFUL SIDE PROJECT: [Uncommon Presents from the Past: Gifts for the Science-Lover and Nature-Ecstatic in Your Life, Benefitting the Nature Conservancy]( [---]( You're receiving this email because you subscribed on TheMarginalian.org (formerly BrainPickings.org). This weekly newsletter comes out each Wednesday and offers a hand-picked piece worth revisiting from my 15-year archive. The Marginalian MAIL NOT DELIVERED 47 Bergen Street, 3rd FloorBrooklyn, NY 11201 [Add us to your address book]( [unsubscribe from this list](   [update subscription preferences](