Midweek pick-me-up: Kahlil Gibran on the courage to weather the uncertainties of love

NOTE: This newsletter might be cut short by your email program. [View it in full](.  If a friend forwarded it to you and you'd like your very own newsletter, [subscribe here]( — it's free.  Need to modify your subscription? You can [change your email address]( or [unsubscribe](. [Brain Pickings]( [Welcome] Hello, {NAME}! This is the Brain Pickings midweek pick-me-up: Once a week, I plunge into my fourteen-year archive and choose something worth resurfacing and resavoring as timeless nourishment for heart, mind, and spirit. (If you don't yet subscribe to the standard Sunday newsletter of new pieces published each week, you can sign up [here]( — it's free.) If you missed last week's edition — life, loss, and the wisdom of rivers — you can catch up [right here](. And if you find any solace, joy, and value in my labor of love, please consider supporting it with a [donation]( – over these fourteen years, I have spent tens of thousands of hours and tremendous resources on Brain Pickings, and every little bit of support helps keep it – keep me – going. If you already donate: THANK YOU. [FROM THE ARCHIVE | Kahlil Gibran on the Courage to Weather the Uncertainties of Love]( [kahlilgibran_theprophet.jpg?fit=320%2C462]( “Love is the quality of attention we pay to things,” poet J.D. McClatchy wrote in his beautiful meditation on [the contrast and complementarity of love and desire](. And what we choose to attend to — our fear or our faith, our woundedness or our devotion to healing — determines the quality of our love. How we navigate our oscillation between these inescapable polarities is governed by the degree of courage, openness, and vulnerability with which we are willing to show up for and to our own hearts. “The alternations between love and its denial,” philosopher Martha Nussbaum observed in contemplating [the difficulty of knowing ourselves]( “constitute the most essential and ubiquitous structural feature of the human heart.” That is what the great Lebanese-American poet, painter, and philosopher Kahlil Gibran (January 6, 1883–April 10, 1931) explores in one of the most stirring passages from [The Prophet]( ([public library]( — the 1923 classic that also gave us what may be the finest advice ever offered on [the balance of intimacy and independence in healthy relationships](. [kahlilgibran.jpg?resize=615%2C758] Kahlil Gibran, self-portrait Speaking to the paradoxical human impulse to cower before the largeness of love — to run from its vulnerable-making uncertainties and [necessary frustrations]( at the cost of its deepest rewards — Gibran offers an incantation of courage: [2e292385-dc1c-4cfe-b95e-845f6f98c2ec.png]When love beckons to you, follow him, Though his ways are hard and steep. And when his wings enfold you yield to him, Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you. And when he speaks to you believe in him, Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden. For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning. Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun, So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth. Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself. He threshes you to make you naked. He sifts you to free you from your husks. He grinds you to whiteness. He kneads you until you are pliant; And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God’s sacred feast. All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life’s heart. But if in your fear you would seek only love’s peace and love’s pleasure, Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love’s threshing-floor, Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears. Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself. Love possesses not nor would it be possessed; For love is sufficient unto love. [abzlove19.jpg] Illustration from [An ABZ of Love]( a vintage Danish book beloved by Kurt Vonnegut In a sentiment John Steinbeck would come to echo a generation later in his beautiful [letter of advice on love]( to his teenage son, Gibran adds: [2e292385-dc1c-4cfe-b95e-845f6f98c2ec.png]Think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course. Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself. But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires: To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night. To know the pain of too much tenderness. To be wounded by your own understanding of love; And to bleed willingly and joyfully. To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving; To rest at the noon hour and meditate love’s ecstasy; To return home at eventide with gratitude; And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips. [The Prophet]( remains a timeless trove of wisdom and a mighty clarifying force for the turbidity of the heart. Complement it with Gibran on [why we make art]( and [his stunning love letters]( then revisit Adrienne Rich on [how honorable relationships refine our truths]( Erich Fromm on [the art of loving and what is keeping us from mastering it]( Leo Tolstoy on [love and its paradoxical demands]( and this wondrous [illustrated meditation on the many meanings and manifestations of love](. [Forward to a friend]( Online]( [Like on Facebook]( donating=loving Every week since 2006, I have been pouring tremendous time, thought, love, and resources into Brain Pickings, which remains free and is made possible by patronage. If you find any joy and solace in my labor of love, please consider supporting it with a donation. And if you already donate, from the bottom of my heart: THANK YOU. (If you've had a change of heart or circumstance and wish to rescind your support, you can do so [at this link]( monthly donation You can become a Sustaining Patron with a recurring monthly donation of your choosing, between a cup of tea and a Brooklyn lunch.  one-time donation Or you can become a Spontaneous Supporter with a one-time donation in any amount. [Start Now]( [Give Now]( Partial to Bitcoin? You can beam some bit-love my way: 197usDS6AsL9wDKxtGM6xaWjmR5ejgqem7 RELATED READING: [abzlove.jpg]( [Hannah Arendt on Love and How to Live with the Fundamental Fear of Loss]( * * * [kahlilgibran2.jpg]( [Kahlil Gibran on Silence, Solitude, and the Courage to Know Yourself]( * * * [myheart_luyken0.jpg]( [My Heart: An Emotional Intelligence Primer in the Form of an Uncommonly Tender Illustrated Poem About Our Capacity for Love]( [---] You're receiving this email because you subscribed on Brain Pickings. 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