A toast to the bride and groom

[Bill Bonner’s Diary]( A Toast to the Bride and Groom By Bill Bonner Tuesday, October 5, 2021 [Bill Bonner] BALTIMORE, MARYLAND – What do you say when your daughter has just gotten married? The father of the bride has top billing for the evening’s entertainment. The couple has knelt before the altar. The priest has given his blessing. The crowd has cheered. Drinks have been served. The guests have finished their salad and the main course. [image]Setting up for the wedding And now, the most dangerous moment of the evening approaches. If he makes a fool of himself, he will never forget it. If he embarrasses the family, they will never forgive him. And what tone to take? Comedy? Tragedy? Light? Heavy? Serious? Or sentimental? He must move along fast enough so that the guests don’t fall asleep. But he can’t shirk the weight of what is happening: His little girl is leaving. [image]The beautification process begins Your editor gave it his best. Here’s how it went… Recommended Link [Crypto insider warns: “Bitcoin is NOT digital gold… THIS is…”]( [ad_img]( “If you suspect Bitcoin is going to crash, I just want you to know, you’re right.” – Jeff Brown Prepare now, and get rich later… [Here is the truth about Bitcoin that no one else will tell you.]( -- Another Wedding Speech Good evening. Welcome. The title of my speech is taken from The Sound of Music. Many of you will remember it: How do you solve a problem like Maria? How do you catch a cloud and pin it down? Well… today is the day we finally solve the problem of Maria. From this day forward, she’s Adrien’s problem. So, I begin by thanking you all for coming here to the wedding. You are all witnesses. And I want to give a special thanks to Adrien’s parents, Elisabeth and Richard. Thanks so much for bringing Adrien into our lives. I’ve been telling everyone that since I have two daughters, and since I’ve already given a wedding speech for one of them… …all I need to do is change the names. So if you were here for Sophia’s wedding… well… this would be a good time to visit our superb portable toilets. I’m just joking… And I should thank our wedding planner and all the people who have worked so hard to put on this wedding… setting up porta-potties… the tents… gardening… organizing. There was so much activity around here. Yesterday, it looked like we were planning an invasion of Normandy… It was a lot of effort… and I am grateful to all those who helped pull it together… especially to our own Supreme Allied Commander… our family’s own Dwight D. Eisenhower, my wife Elizabeth, who masterminded the whole campaign… …and thank God I don’t have another daughter. [Featured: Are you ready for Congress’ “Wealth Transfer Act”?]( Rules of Engagement I was just in Dublin, Ireland. I told the fellow I was with that I was going to America to give a wedding speech. He said he was just at a wedding where the father of the bride went on for two hours. “It was terrible,” he says to me, “but fortunately, it was an Irish wedding… and they kept the bar open the whole time.” Well, don’t worry, I’m not going to go on and on. I’ve got the speech down to an hour and a half. No more. And at this very moment, Elizabeth has her hands on the power cord. At the first sign of verbosity… or senility… now or later in life… she has promised to pull the plug. And it’s not going to be the same speech. That speech was the subject of much… shall I say… literary criticism. Yes… I was put on notice. I was given three rules for any future speeches at family events: - It’s not about me. They really didn’t have to tell me that. I know. This is about… about… oh yes… Maria… my daughter. Oh, I remember the exact moment Maria and I first bonded. We were standing on the front steps of our house in Baltimore. Elizabeth had just come home with our new son. And Maria knew she had competition. She was no longer Elizabeth’s only child. She was no longer the baby of the family. And so, we stood on the steps. And Maria, not quite two years old, took my hand, looked up at me… and I knew exactly what she meant to say: “It’s just you and me now, Daddy.” And it’s been like that ever since. - My second rule… I am not to go into a rant about COVID-19… or the Fed’s monetary policies. This restriction, too, was completely unnecessary. But if it weren’t for the COVID, we wouldn’t be here. That’s right. The lockdown policies were meant to keep people apart. But somehow, in the middle of the most severe part of the lock-up, Maria and Adrien got together. So I say thanks to Governor Hogan for shutting down the entire Maryland state economy so Maria and Adrien could meet. - Now, the third rule imposed was the silliest of all. I am not supposed to mention Nietzsche. I wasn’t going to mention him anyway. And yes, he wrote that “God is Dead,” so he seems kind of out of place at a Christian wedding ceremony. And all we know for sure is that Nietzsche is definitely dead. He went crazy, as German philosophers tend to do, and then died in 1900. And now, with those rules firmly implanted… like a harpoon in a whale… let’s go on. Recommended Link [What This Multimillionaire Discovered in The Arizona Desert Will Shock You…]( [image]( About 240 miles north of the Grand Canyon… Deep in the Arizona desert… A rogue multimillionaire has identified a $3.1 trillion opportunity. Some might call it “a miraculous discovery.” Right now the mainstream media… Wall Street analysts… Or anyone in the general public likely has no clue about this opportunity… But since early investors could soon make a significant amount of money from it… This renowned millionaire investor has given permission to share it with you. [Click here to see the full story.]( -- To the Rescue Adrien seems like a great guy. Just two weeks ago, we were at a cocktail reception together. Our grandchildren were playing in the pool. And I was talking with Adrien and our other son-in-law, Ryan, about the Fed’s monetary policy, when I noticed that our granddaughter, Dorothy, had somehow gotten into the deep end of the pool and was disappearing below the water. So I’m sure you can all appreciate the social dilemma in which I found myself. Naturally, I didn’t want to interrupt the conversation, especially since it concerned the Fed’s monetary policies. But I saw the bubbles coming up from little Dorothy’s mouth… and I thought I should say something. And so, when a pause in the conversation finally came, I let Adrien know that the niece of his soon-to-be wife was drowning in the pool behind him. Adrien swung around, and in a single motion, drew her up out of the water as if she were an Atlantic salmon. In other words, like a real pro. [Featured: The End of the NASDAQ…]( Modest Beginnings But I’m going to focus on Maria. I know her so well and can give you a clear assessment of her strengths and weaknesses. I’m going to pass over the drugs and alcohol… and that movie she made that’s on the internet. She was young. She needed the money. So let’s put that behind us. Maria came along when we were still renovating our house in Baltimore. There were tools all over the place… Cans of paint… Wallpaper. We really weren’t prepared for a baby. We didn’t even have a crib. So we just pushed aside the chisels and box cutters and laid her down in an old toolbox. Next to the table saw. Her first toy was a chalk line. And it’s how Maria and I got to be so close. I’d go to work and just take the toolbox with me. When I needed a nail, I’d just fish one out of her mouth. That’s probably why, to this day, Maria has a good work ethic. And here’s a tip for Adrien. When you need a birthday present for Maria… try a gift card for Ace Hardware. Drama Queen But it was clear almost from the very beginning that Maria was destined to be an actress… a singer… and yes… a drama queen. Growing up, every scene was either a tragedy or a comedy… But fortunately, Maria grew up in France, where corporal punishment was still permitted. She probably didn’t get as much spanking as she needed, because I thought I had to put on a uniform… But it didn’t matter; she was a very good girl. And besides, I always had her right where she wanted me. When we were still living in the countryside in France, Maria was ready to go to what we would call high school, and what the French call “college.” The place where the families we knew sent their girls was a boarding school – the Union Chrétienne – in an old stone convent in Poitiers, run by the Sisters of Everlasting Severity. Or something like that. The girls wore blue and white uniforms. They lived in such cold barracks, it would have given a Spartan soldier the shivers. And they were not allowed to talk with each other after 8 p.m. I asked Elizabeth, “Do you think this is going to work for Maria?” “Well, it works for all the other girls. They complain about it, but they get used to it. Maybe they even like it.” A few days later, we took Maria there… dropped her off… and waved goodbye. She had tears in her eyes, but she bravely went into the school. She was about 13 years old. No phone calls were permitted. But three days later was the first day parents could visit. Before I drove up to see her, Elizabeth warned me that Maria would complain… but we should remain firm, like the other parents… and let her get used to the place before considering a change. Besides, there weren’t many options. Well, I got to the school… and Maria came running out, in tears… “Daddy, Daddy… You’ve got to get me out of this place.” But I held firm. For about two minutes. Then, I told the head mistress that the school really didn’t suit my daughter… and Maria came home with me. Recommended Link [Stop Reading. Write This Down.]( [image]( Teeka Tiwari picked Bitcoin at $428 before it became the first trillion-dollar coin by market value. Now he’s giving away the name of his next top pick for FREE! A coin he believes could follow in Bitcoin’s footsteps to become Crypto’s Next-Trillion Dollar Coin. [Click here and write its name down.]( -- Flying the Nest And now, Maria has grown up. She has passed through the difficult years… the larval stage… and has emerged as a beautiful, responsible adult. I wouldn’t go as far as to say the metamorphosis is complete. But she has wings… and I confess… …that after so many years together… when I feel the brush of those wings upon my cheek… and I think of her now flying away with Adrien… I have mixed emotions. Fortunately, she is not flying far away… The young couple are moving in next door to us in Baltimore. And now, I see Elizabeth reaching for the power cord, so I’m going to wrap up by giving them some advice. Nietzsche was pronounced insane in 1889 after the famous “horse incident.” He was walking down the streets of Turin, when he saw a teamster beating his horse. Nietzsche flung himself around the horse’s neck, burst into tears… and refused to move. Finally, a priest and two butchers had to pry him loose. Here’s a quote: “Logic and reason have no role in a happy marriage.” Nietzsche didn’t say that. I said that. Nietzsche never got married; so he didn’t know. Instead of marriage, he chose insanity. And he never regretted it. And here’s a takeaway for both Maria and Adrien from the horse incident: There are bound to be some rough patches ahead. No… don’t get out the whip. Just throw your arms around each other… and don’t let go until you get psychiatric assistance. There. I hope that helps. [image]The beautiful bride beneath the veil Thanks to one and all. Regards, [signature] Bill P.S. Here’s a video of Maria serenading her new husband… [image]( --------------------------------------------------------------- Like what you’re reading? Send your thoughts to [feedback@rogueeconomics.com](mailto:feedback@rogueeconomics.com?subject=A toast to the bride and groom). --------------------------------------------------------------- FEATURED READ [The U.K Is Facing a Desperate Fuel Shortage]( army started supplying service stations in the U.K. on Monday in an effort to end more than a week of shortages that have forced pumps to close. The government said in a statement on Friday that almost 100 tanker drivers will be deployed from this week… MAILBAG Dear readers debate American stupidity and the [definition of fiscal insanity]( Americans aren’t necessarily stupid. Rather they are the product of government schools. The greater population has been trained to conform and accept after 12 years of government indoctrination. Insanity is expecting a government school to turn out students that would resist the self… same government’s proclivity to be wasteful in the extreme. We have smart people who behave foolishly because we have paid to train them to be so. Bill, yours is a voice in the wilderness. Thank you for your perseverance in the face of great ignorance. – Bill G. Americans must be stupid to continue to send the likes of Pelosi, Schumer, McConnell, and Graham back to Washington. Something has to be done to get new blood and new ideas to our ruling class. Surely these are not the best we have. If anyone thinks these morons will get us out of the mess they have created then, yes, they are stupid. I heard Kevin “Mr. Wonderful” O’Leary say that the 10 most dangerous words in the English language are, “I’m from the government and I’m here to help you.” What they really mean is that they are here to help themselves, usually to our money or freedoms. – Jerry K. When is this country going to divide along red and blue lines? I’m the same age as you and would surely like to move south. Just need that push to get going. Winter is almost here. – John P. Has America trained smart people to be stupid, like Bill G. believes? Are current politicians the “best we have,” as Jerry K. wonders? Write Write us at [feedback@rogueeconomics.com](mailto:feedback@rogueeconomics.com?subject=A toast to the bride and groom). IN CASE YOU MISSED IT… [Holy Cow, Only $19!]( “Hi, my name is Jeff Clark. For the past 36 years, I’ve helped people from all walks of life make money in the markets. Retired stockbrokers… presidents of companies… people with almost no financial experience… and everything in between. But I haven’t done it the usual way… My method is different. It’s unlike anything you’ve probably ever seen before. 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