Is Elon Musk after your brain's browser history?

Neuralink gets a guinea pig. [Bloomberg]( This is Bloomberg Opinion Today, a healthy layer of friction between Bloomberg Opinion’s opinions. [Sign up here](. Today’s Agenda - Neuralink gets a [guinea pig](. - Let’s stop Iran’s [drilling rig](. - Colon cancer got [way too big](. - China’s youth have [a new travel gig](. Browser History In 2017, Reddit said it was exploring an IPO. But it’s taken [so long]( that we have computers in our heads now. Well, one lucky individual does, at least. This week, [the first human]( received a brain implant from Neuralink, Elon Musk’s startup that aims to grant users “control of your phone or computer, and through them almost any device, just by thinking.” Parmy Olson says the device, called Telepathy, is about the size of a quarter and slides in just under the skull. But before you sign up to be the richest man in the world’s guinea pig, let’s consider what this will mean for your life. “Today’s keyboard and mouse act as healthy layers of friction between thinking we want to do something on the internet and doing it,” she [writes]( (free read). Without that barrier, you may find yourself acting out of character, doing crazy stuff like [calling your wife “pookie”]( or [throwing soup]( at the Mona Lisa (Howard Chua-Eoan [has thoughts](). Whether or not Elon Musk’s dream of helping the Stephen Hawkings of the world comes to pass, his brain chip only adds to the feeling that the internet is [changing](, and not always for the better. In recent years, “millennials have started to discuss the internet with a hint of mourning. As the first generation that grew up with it in their lives, they hold a special attachment to those pioneering web days, when they would ask friends and crushes whether they would ‘be online’ after school, and information and belonging came through communities of forums and blogs,” Dave Lee writes. That’s since changed, what with the tectonic rise of social media and corporate brown-nosing. But through it all, “Reddit has been an outlier, the last big social network to resist this ugly transformation and a halfway house between the old and new internet,” he notes. Until now, that is. “The chance to go public may finally be here,” Dave writes. But is it too late? I’ll [let you decide]( — without the help of a brain chip. Bonus Free Read: Gen Z's [“legging legs” trend]( risked reincarnating millennials’ obsession with thigh gaps, but the backlash it received on TikTok showed the evolution of internet culture. — Jessica Karl ([hi](!) Two World Wars Were Enough Here’s an idea: What if we just didn’t do a World War III? We could treat it like [the recession]( last year. Everyone says “guys, it’s coming, it’s coming,” and then nothing! Nada! Nope! No thank you, sayonara, see you never: John Authers [says]( stories about World War III are their highest in 16 months, but I’m not seeing [much enthusiasm]( for it over on TikTok. Earlier this week, when the head of the British army said a “citizen army” may be needed in the future, chaos ensued. “I don’t do well under pressure. I cried during my geography GCSE,” Grace Barry [said](. “I get really bad heartburn all the time … I’ve not been on a field since PE since school,” Max Balegde [said](. Although the UK government has since [quelled fears]( about an impending draft, the fact remains: Most young people just wouldn’t be very good at war. And it’s not just the in UK. In the US, too, Gen Zers are [unwilling]( to participate in a war, not out of altruism, but out of [sheer laziness](. The comments on these videos alone speak volumes about the monumental disaster we’d be in if World War III actually arrived: Perhaps there’s another method for retaliation against the fatal drone [attack]( in Jordan — one that doesn’t involve sending petrified TikTokers to the battlefield. Although we’ve considered the various [military options]( Biden has at his disposal, Javier Blas says there’s [another way]( he can respond: Close the petrodollar spigot. “Over the last year or so, Iran has been able to boost its oil production to a five-year high of about 3.2 million barrels a day, earnings billions of dollars in the process,” he writes. If the US were to target Iranian oil production through renewed sanctions, it would strip the country of a crucial revenue stream. Javier’s back-of-the-envelope math suggests Iran pocketed more than $10 billion in 2023 thanks to its higher oil output. Without such revenue, Iran’s proxy forces will have little money to afford new weapons. Fewer weapons seems like a pretty good way to stop World War III before it even begins. Crash Course "You have voter suppression laws that are trying to beat back not the voter today, but the voter that's coming … We have a Latino voter turning 18 every 30 seconds in this country." Maria Teresa Kumar CEO of Voto Latino In the [latest episode]( of Crash Course, Tim O’Brien [speaks]( with the CEO of Voto Latino CEO about the mobilization of enthusiastic and engaged younger, US-born Latino voters. Telltale Charts This one is for the [IBS girlies](: What the heck is happening with our colons? Lisa Jarvis [says]( rectal cancer is now the leading cause of cancer deaths in men under the age of 50. Among women under age 50, it’s second only to breast cancer. “Unraveling what’s driving the increased rates of colon cancer in younger people is a gargantuan task. It requires considering the major behavioral, lifestyle and environmental changes that occurred as cancer rates rose, seemingly starting with people born in the late 1970s and early 1980s,” she explains. The uptick in obesity is one obvious suspect. And changes to the gut microbiome — the tangle of bacteria, fungi and viruses that helps us digest food — are also worth exploring. Do you have $10 in your wallet? If so, you can afford 35 meat skewers — a gargantuan amount, even for heavily carnivorous individuals. But there’s a catch: You gotta be willing to travel to Zibo, a declining industrial town in eastern China. Although it may sound daunting to you, plenty of young Chinese did just that last year, rendering the town a viral social media sensation. They “were pleasantly surprised by ‘[how sincere and honest](’ local businesses were, as they didn’t raise prices even when tourism demand surged,” Shuli Ren [writes](. And it’s not just Zibo: Young people on social media also flocked to the northeast city of Harbin, which is famous for hosting an annual Ice and Snow Festival. The tourists were even given a nickname by locals — “southern potatoes” — because they wrapped themselves in layers of winter clothes. “It was a boom for an icy, freezing place that has long suffered from population decline and fiscal struggles,” she explains. Further Reading The Fed still has a lot of [puzzling data]( to consider as it meets this week. — Bloomberg’s editorial board General Motors now has what Tesla’s lost — [an upbeat outlook](. — Liam Denning Hot sauce ETFs will [continue to boom]( without Jim Cramer. — Jonathan Levin Americans’ working years deserve [a happier ending](. — Kathryn Anne Edwards The US is being [deliberately vague]( about its relationship with Taiwan. — Karishma Vaswani Dev Patel and Jordan Peele’s [new film]( channels a Bollywood icon. — Bobby Ghosh ICYMI Trump allies [declared war]( against Taylor Swift. Broadway star Chita Rivera [passed away]( at 91. Stanley Cups might be [leaking lead](. Nine News did a sexist [Photoshop job](. London police killed a man armed with a [sword and crossbow](. Kickers Circus animals [were rescued]( in a highway fire. Sarah J. Maas is [the mortal queen]( of faerie smut. Sydney Sweeney [appears to be lying]( about her past. 394 [hot dog ice sculptures]( later, he quit his day job. Notes: Please send [Qualitative Research]( and feedback to Jessica Karl at jkarl9@bloomberg.net. [Sign up here]( and follow us on [Threads](, [TikTok](, [Twitter](, [Instagram]( and [Facebook](. Follow Us Like getting this newsletter? [Subscribe to Bloomberg.com]( for unlimited access to trusted, data-driven journalism and subscriber-only insights. Before it’s here, it’s on the Bloomberg Terminal. Find out more about how the Terminal delivers information and analysis that financial professionals can’t find anywhere else. [Learn more](. Want to sponsor this newsletter? [Get in touch here](. You received this message because you are subscribed to Bloomberg's Opinion Today newsletter. If a friend forwarded you this message, [sign up here]( to get it in your inbox. 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