Gary Gensler should have counter-trolled

The Bitcoin ETF approval is a PR disaster for the SEC. [Bloomberg]( This is Bloomberg Opinion Today, a general trolling and hijinks of Bloomberg Opinion’s opinions. [Sign up here](. Today’s Agenda - The SEC got [trolled](. - An [influencer]( got more than a scold. - The [collapsed cake]( didn’t stay cold. - South Korean [products]( get sold. The Hack Heard Around the World If you wanted to be featured in Matt Levine’s [newsletter]( Money Stuff, there’s a few things you could do. You could, say, be [the world’s richest person](. Or you could [insider trade]( while drunk on the squash court — or [eavesdrop]( on your spouse. Or you could ask Masa Son to invest $10 billion in [your company](, then use it as kindling to light the whole edifice on fire. But none of that is anonymous. And all of it is messy, legally speaking. The entire world will know you’re a person of low intelligence or even lower morals, including Matt Levine — your favorite literary figure on earth, whom you venerate as a financial saint. So what can you do that doesn’t involve insider trading or securities fraud or [guitar-shaped living rooms](? How about, I dunno, hacking the SEC’s Twitter account and sending a fake post claiming the agency had approved a spot-Bitcoin exchange-traded fund that it was expected to approve the next day? That seems like a pretty surefire way to get Matt’s attention! Yesterday afternoon’s [dramatic cybersecurity breach]( has all the crucial ingredients for Money Stuff — irony, intrigue and [the humiliation]( of Gary Gensler. Wall Street’s main regulator went after all the big, bad crypto wolves for their poor security practices only to have his own institution get compromised because, apparently, it didn’t use 2-factor authentication! That’s EXTREMELY humiliating. And exactly the kind of thing Matt’s gonna be all over — duh, duh, duh. [He writes](: I have [suggested before]( that there are two possible reasons to issue fake announcements that move asset prices: - Market manipulation: You buy the asset, you issue the fake announcement, the price moves, you sell it at a profit; or - General trolling and hijinks: You don’t buy the asset, you issue the fake announcement, the price moves, you have a laugh and high-five your online friends. But he’s missing a bullet! Which is, in my mind, the most obvious: - Getting Matt Levine’s attention: You don’t buy the asset, you issue the fake announcement, the price moves, you have a laugh and high-five your online friends because you were featured in Money Stuff the next day. “The whole thing works better as trolling than as market manipulation,” he argues. “Having the SEC (1) announce that Bitcoin ETFS are approved, (2) walk back that announcement, and then (3) announce it again, for real this time, the next day, really is quite embarrassing. Like if the hacker made the SEC say something outlandish and false, that would be a little funny. But making the SEC say something true a day early is extremely funny.” The only thing that would make it funnier is if Elon Musk was the crypto enthusiast who tweeted the fake announcement to troll the SEC, an institution he despises with a passion. “The likelihood of that is close to zero,” Matt writes. “But it would be the absolute funniest Money Stuff story of all time.” Does the SEC have a shot at somehow coming out of this saga on top? Matt says they could have, if Gary Gensler executed “a great counter-troll” by [rejecting]( all the Bitcoin ETF applications on the basis that the crypto market is still too vulnerable to manipulation, as evidenced by the hacked Twitter account. But that didn’t happen: A little after 4 p.m. in New York, the SEC [approved]( 11 exchange-traded funds that invest directly in [Bitcoin](, mostly because [a court forced its hand](. So what happens next? Although the speculative buildup ahead of the announcement sent crypto prices [soaring](, Lionel Laurent says “the promise of game-changing, gold-like adoption looks like a meme too far.” The [Winklevoss twins]( would love for you to believe that the introduction of a Bitcoin ETF means it’s Gold 2.0, but Bitcoin’s path ahead “looks neither straight nor shiny,” he writes. Read [the whole thing]( (for free). Is It Cake? No, It’s Bloomberg Opinion Today is a historic day, I think. It’s a rare occasion when we publish an [opinion]( [column]( [about]( [cake](. But two columns about cake on the same day?! That’s unheard of[1](#footnote-1). And yet we have Gearoid Reidy on [Japan’s collapsed cake fiasco]( and Rachel Sanderson on the Italian influencer who got [fined €1 million]( for a Christmas cake promotion she did on Instagram. Exciting stuff, truly! Let’s start with the collapsed cakes. Before Japan’s week of drama — an earthquake and a plane collision — Gearoid says the country was preoccupied with a Christmas cake crisis. “After some 800 [strawberry shortcakes]( arrived at households across the country damaged and misshapen, executives of department store operator Takashimaya Co. [bowed]( in apology at a press conference carried on national television.” For those wanting a visualization of the carnage, I won’t leave you hanging. On the left, you’ll see what the cake was supposed to look like. On the right, you’ll see what customers actually received: Instagram vs. reality Now, this whip cream-coated cake costs around $40, including the frozen delivery to your door. “At that price, if some were a little smushed, should it rise to the level of national scandal?” Gearoid asks. That’s like asking Costco for a formal apology if the cheese on your Kirkland pizza slides off. But the visceral reaction to the cake scandal illustrates how Japanese consumers demand perfection. “The country needs to get comfortable with the idea of paying more for its impeccable standards. Or otherwise get used to a few more squished cakes,” he writes. Moving on, we have the second cake in question: The woman awkwardly holding these cake boxes is Chiara Ferragni, who has nearly 30 million Instagram followers and dozens of designer brand deals. Until now, that is: Ferragni was fined €1 million ($1.1 million) for falsely claiming that the proceeds from her pandoro-branded Christmas cake would help a Turin hospital for sick children. It didn’t. Instead, a donation had been made prior to the promotion, and the sales had no impact on the size of the gift. “The pandoro debacle — and Ferragni’s response that the punishment was excessive considering she was only trying to help people — has disfigured her manicured image,” Rachel writes. There’s perhaps no greater illustration of her fall from grace than her declining Instagram followers: Milan prosecutors are now investigating Ferragni for fraud and her ad campaigns with Coca-Cola and eyewear brand Safilo have been put on hold. “Though Ferragni’s fall can be seen as an isolated blow to the estimated $250 billion influencer industry, it could also be a broader warning of shifting winds,” she argues. And to think, it’s all because of a silly little cake. Telltale Charts Haha remember that time when [GOP lawmakers]( were like, “you’ll never take away my gas stove!!!” and pundits on Fox News spent [precious airtime]( getting angry about Kamala Harris’ beef Wellington? Let’s hope that drama won’t persist in 2024. Liam Denning [argues]( gas bulls shaking their fists should focus less on shadowy stove agents and more on “the seemingly unstoppable growth of renewable power generation.” Although he says wind and solar are indeed a growing headwind for gas, Javier Blas [notes]( “the beginning of the end of the fossil-fuel industry remains elusive.” Kyla Scanlon, for her part, [says]( America’s oil and gas industries are far more insulated from the tension on the Red Sea compared to other countries because US crude oil production continues to reach [record]( [highs](. Have you noticed that you’re buying a lot more stuff that’s made in Korea? It’s not just [K-beauty products](: “The US is fast catching up to China as a destination for South Korean goods, lagging by just 1.4 percentage points last year,” Tim Culpan writes. In manufacturing alone, South Korean sales of machinery in the US rose 25% last year. EV growth in America presents a particularly good opportunity for South Korean car companies like Hyundai and Kia, especially considering China’s BYD faces a considerable [import duty](. “South Korean EV sales to the US climbed 60% last year, [according to data]( from the ministry of trade, industry and energy, and were up five-fold over the figure posted in 2021,” he writes. Who knows what this chat will look like in another few years. Further Reading Congress is poised for a rare [workforce breakthrough](. — Bloomberg’s editorial board The [minimum wage]( is a free lunch with hidden charges. — Justin Fox Suburban millionaires beware — [private equity]( needs you. — Aaron Brown There’s no need for the Fed to tolerate [bank runs](. — Bill Dudley [Shadow banking]( won’t give JPMorgan CEO Jamie Dimon a rest. — Marc Rubinstein Souring on [immigration]( is bad economic policy for Australia. — Daniel Moss The [pampered West]( needs to learn the lessons of Gaza and Ukraine, too. — Marc Champion Britain’s [post office scandal]( is a lesson about managers trusting numbers over their own people. — Adrian Wooldridge We have less than a decade of emissions left in our “[carbon budget](” before it’s too late. — Mark Gongloff Don’t Miss: [CPI Report]( Will disinflation continue and set the stage for rate cuts in 2024? [Tune in live]( as Jonathan Levin joins Mark Zandi and Allison Schrager to break down the latest inflation data. ICYMI Chris Christie is [dropping out]( of the 2024 race. Hunter Biden [appeared]( on Capitol Hill. Rabbit [sold out]( of its pocket AI companions. Alaska Airlines [offered]( traumatized passengers $1,500. Kickers [A computer glitch]( led to a lot of false theft convictions. Stanley Tucci is [returning]( to Italy (and your TV). [definitive ranking]( of fast-food french fries. [Glamping]( is getting more accessible. (h/t Mike Nizza for last two kickers) Notes: Please send Five Guys' fries and feedback to Jessica Karl at jkarl9@bloomberg.net. [Sign up here]( and follow us on [Threads](, [TikTok](, [Twitter](, [Instagram]( and [Facebook](. [1] Although I don’t have time to parse through every single piece we’ve ever published in Bloomberg Opinion’s decade-plus existence, I can say with relative confidence that this is the first time it’s ever happened. So join me in making an unofficial declaration. Prepare the trumpets! Cue the applause! Clear your throat! The 10th of January will henceforth be referred to as International Cake Column Day!! Follow Us Like getting this newsletter? [Subscribe to Bloomberg.com]( for unlimited access to trusted, data-driven journalism and subscriber-only insights. Before it’s here, it’s on the Bloomberg Terminal. Find out more about how the Terminal delivers information and analysis that financial professionals can’t find anywhere else. [Learn more](. Want to sponsor this newsletter? [Get in touch here](. You received this message because you are subscribed to Bloomberg's Opinion Today newsletter. If a friend forwarded you this message, [sign up here]( to get it in your inbox. [Unsubscribe]( [Bloomberg.com]( [Contact Us]( Bloomberg L.P. 731 Lexington Avenue, New York, NY 10022