A Covid “variant of interest?” Not with a dull name like JN.1

Plus: Pro pickleball, Ryanair's profits and more. [Bloomberg]( This is Bloomberg Opinion Today, the original variant of Bloomberg Opinion’s opinions. [Sign up here](. Today’s Agenda - We need a better [Covid shot](. - Pro [pickleball’s]( future is fraught. - US Senators sure “[hold](” a lot. - Ryanair’s CEO nears the [bonus jackpot](. WHO Lost the Plot This morning, when the World Health Organization [classified]( the JN.1 Covid strain as a “variant of interest,” one couldn’t help but wonder what the heck happened to the Greek alphabet. Ever since they named omicron in November 2021, no other variant has been hazed into the medical world’s version of a sorority. Did we run out of letters? Did we anger the Greek gods? Although Zeus did not respond immediately for comment — his secretary said something about dealing with a [microplastic hurricane]( — I suspect he’s not the reason we stopped the practice. Instead, the WHO [tightened]( its rules about name assignments and placed a greater emphasis on the [Pango naming system](, which is why we have confusing charts that look like this: Somewhere along the line, we lost the plot. If the variant is important, it should have an important-sounding name, right? Although we have one-off nicknames, such as “the Kraken,” we need a universal system to raise the alarm bells for regular people who know nothing about spike genes or nucleotide sequences. Do you even remember the variant I named in the first sentence of this newsletter? No! Of course not. (It’s JN.1, to spare you a scroll.) What the WHO needs is a marketing consultant to rebrand the chart. Instead of an [obscure combination]( of letters, dots and numbers, variants could be fruits and vegetables! We could call the JN.1 “The Onion Variant,” which also happens to be the nickname I secretly gave to an ex-boyfriend who had bad breath: Nobody would lose track if our colds were named after clementines! But no, no, no, we have alphanumeric strands like “XBB.1.5.10” and “BA.5.2.6,” both of which are harder to remember than a Social Security number. No wonder F.D. Flam [says]( (free read) the public’s concern over Covid is waning. Your boss and your boss’s boss [may be sick]( at [home](, but they’re probably not testing for Covid. Making matters even worse is that the boosters don’t seem to work very well. “The CDC is still arguing that they prevent spread of the virus, but some respected infectious disease experts [call this incorrect](. Some experts also argue there’s no evidence that giving young people multiple boosters does anything to lower their odds of infecting grandma or grandpa,” F.D. writes. Perhaps that’s why so few people have bothered getting an additional shot this year: F.D. thinks we need a better vaccine; one that would directly protect the respiratory tract. “The stubborn tendency of our immune systems to insist on fighting the original variant” helps explain why so many fully vaccinated, multiple-boosted people have gotten omicron not just once but sometimes two or three times, she writes. “If people are sick and tired of anything, it’s getting Covid,” F.D. writes. “If we had a new shot that kept us Covid-free for at least a year, more people would be willing to get it.” Until then, we’re stuck with an ever-growing list of arcane-sounding variants and subvariants. It’s not just the booster that needs to become better; it’s the muddled messaging, too. Trouble in Pickleball Paradise Julian Arnold and Mary Brascia celebrate a point during a quarterfinals Major League Pickleball match. Photographer: Emilee Chinn/Getty Images North America Did you know that Major League Pickleball is a real institution that exists? The sport that started out as a [backyard game]( named after a dog became a professional league in 2021. It has real-life players that make actual money. Or they made actual money, at least: Bobby Ghosh [says]( the MLP, facing severe economic headwinds, is struggling to pay its athletes. Pickleball popped off early on in the Covid-19 pandemic, to [the ire]( of tennis players. Since then, America’s [fastest-growing]( (and [loudest]() sport has enjoyed its spot in the limelight, beloved by [Golden Bachelors]( and [billionaires]( alike. [Avenue Capital]( co-founder Marc Lasry even sold his stake in the Milwaukee Bucks to buy a franchise in the MLP, because he grew confident that pickleball would be more profitable [than the NBA](. But reality is taking a “big bite out of pro pickleball’s juicy prospects,” Bobby writes. Skeptics have long wondered whether the MLP could [actually turn a profit](, and now that the MLP has [asked]( players to take a 40% reduction in compensation, they apparently have their answer. But none of this means the sport is going to die like an airborne ball swatted in the [kitchen](. “It may just be that pickleball is one of those sports that people like to play much more than they like to watch, and popularity may not automatically translate into profitability,” Bobby explains. Consider ping pong, he writes: “More than [20 million of us play it](, mostly in basements and college dorms — but [Major League Table Tennis]( isn’t exactly a money-spinner.” The funniest part of the saga — in my mind, at least — is that MLP is [sponsored]( by Jimmy Buffett’s [Margaritaville](. Call me crazy, but I never would have put my faith in the financials of a sports league [sponsored]( by a chain restaurant whose Times Square location filed for bankruptcy not once, but [twice]( this year! The truth is, pickleball doesn’t need [margarita pitchers]( or a major league to stay relevant. It’s fun on its own, whether you’re playing at the [local park]( or the [retirement home](. Crash Course “Don Jr., Eric, Ivanka and Donald Trump himself have all testified … it’ll be interesting to see what Judge Engoron says about the believability of those witnesses in general.” Andrew Weissmann NYU Law School professor In [the latest episode]( of Crash Course, Tim O’Brien [dives into]( Donald Trump’s civil fraud trial in New York. Telltale Charts Picture this: You apply for a job. You land the interview. You get the offer letter. But before you start your first day, one of your new colleagues blocks you from joining, not because they think you’re unqualified but because they are using you as leverage to get their boss to change the Work From Home policy. Sounds pretty unfair, right?? Sadly, this is essentially what happens when US Senators place a “hold” — often anonymously — on a presidential nominee in order to effectively block their confirmation. A [new analysis]( by Max Stier’s organization found that the number of Senate cloture votes — a lengthy process that he says requires around 50 senators — has skyrocketed in recent years. “It took an average of 82.7 days for the Senate to confirm 899 of George W. Bush’s nominees as of Nov. 19 of his third year in office. Biden, in contrast, had only 673 appointees confirmed by the same date this year, and it has taken an average of 167.4 days to win each approval,” he writes. “If you could be one person for a day, who would it be?” is a question you probably got asked in kindergarten, but let’s answer it again now. Me, personally? I’d want to be Ryanair CEO Michael O’Leary on the day that he snags his €100 million ($108 million) bonus in 2024. “While I can’t quite believe I’m saying this, on balance I think he deserves it,” Chris Bryant [writes](. Although the bonus is far from guaranteed — Ryanair may fall short of the threshold needed for O'Leary to secure the bag — the airline is on the right trajectory, thanks to the guy steering the plane. “You’ll struggle to find a manager who has had more of an impact on ordinary people’s lives over the past three decades than O’Leary, who was appointed Ryanair CEO in 1994,” he writes. Maybe he’ll make even more money next year if he makes people [pay to use the toilets](! Further Reading Free read: Case [(almost) closed]( on who wrote “The Night Before Christmas.” — Justin Fox Obamacare is [too costly](, but replacing it isn’t the answer. — Bloomberg’s editorial board British retailers are up against [the Grinch]( this Christmas. — Andrea Felsted AI gives banks plenty of [new ways]( to repeat old mistakes. — Paul J. Davies Your money may not survive [a quantum heist](. — Andy Mukherjee It’s dumb to make “[decolonization](” a dirty word. — Pankaj Mishra ICYMI TikToking “[tranq tourists](” visit Philly to film drug users. [THC gummies]( are sending hundreds of children to the ER. Surprise! [Phones]( seem to make students dumber. Brands are [getting creative]( with airport advertising. Kickers How the [internet ate]( in 2023. This [teenage girl]( is in her Ozempic Era. Area intern buys [first-class tickets]( to Saint Lucia. (h/t Christine Vanden Byllaardt) France’s biggest beauty pageant has a [pixie cut controversy](. (h/t Jhodie-Ann Williams) Like humans, chimps [remember old friends]( after decades apart. Notes: Please send tickets to Saint Lucia and feedback to Jessica Karl at jkarl9@bloomberg.net. [Sign up here]( and follow us on [Threads](, [TikTok](, [Twitter](, [Instagram]( and [Facebook](. Follow Us Like getting this newsletter? [Subscribe to Bloomberg.com]( for unlimited access to trusted, data-driven journalism and subscriber-only insights. Before it’s here, it’s on the Bloomberg Terminal. Find out more about how the Terminal delivers information and analysis that financial professionals can’t find anywhere else. [Learn more](. Want to sponsor this newsletter? [Get in touch here](. You received this message because you are subscribed to Bloomberg's Opinion Today newsletter. If a friend forwarded you this message, [sign up here]( to get it in your inbox. 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