COP28 was great for celebrities, not so much for the climate

Focus on ending fossil fuel subsidies, not selfies. [Bloomberg]( This is Bloomberg Opinion Today, a historic pact of Bloomberg Opinion’s opinions. [Sign up here](. Today’s Agenda - [COP28]( forgot about [the money](. - America’s [test scores]( aren’t funny. - Service [inflation]( sticks like honey. - Vietnam’s [trade outlook]( is always sunny. A COP Out? It’s been one week since investigative journalist Amy Westervelt sent [this tweet](: Now that this year’s COP is done and dusted, all I want to know is whether these oil men are FINALLY going to therapy. Year after year, they’ve basically said “drill baby, drill” instead of facing their climate-ruining feelings head-on. Will 2023 be remembered as the year that oil cartels changed for good? In some ways, yes. After all, “it was a petroleum insider who delivered the strongest-ever call for the fossil-fuel industry to change,” Javier Blas [writes]([1](#footnote-1). But the final text is [far from perfect](. For one, it has [the sticky fingerprints]( of OPEC all over it. The loopholes are big enough for an oil tanker to sail through. But it’s going in the books nonetheless. Despite the climate conference spanning two weeks, Mark Gongloff [describes]( the final document as still incomplete: “Like over-caffeinated college students, Sultan Al Jaber, John Kerry and other COP28 delegates pulled an all-nighter to turn what could have been an ‘F’ on a global climate deal into a respectable ‘C.’ Still, in their scramble to produce a historic pact, they left one glaring omission that could doom the whole enterprise in the longer run: They ignored the money.” The commitment to ditch fossil fuels by mid-century will mean nothing if developing nations can’t get their hands on [$6 trillion]( in financing by 2030. Mark says the new COP deal “vaguely waves a hand at that mountain of money without getting into details about who will pay for what.” For decades, the US, Europe and China practically bathed their cities and companies in fossil fuels, transforming into the megarich, megapolluting nations we know today. Changing the rules for poorer nations that are still developing would be unfair, but that’s essentially what’s happening here. It’s like ordering “underprivileged kids to go to college without offering them financial aid,” Mark writes. That the fate of these poor countries was being decided in a city as opulent and palatial as Dubai is [an irony]( that’s not lost on Lara Williams, who was one of [97,000 registered attendees]( at COP this year. Her journey on the Dubai metro “gave an insight into the riches still available to oil-producing nations,” she writes. “Passengers glimpsed the enormous Jebel Ali Power Plant and Desalination Complex, capable of producing more than 2 million cubic meters of water per day to feed Dubai’s opulent pools, water parks, fountains — and to make snow ([for the penguins, you understand](). Powered by fossil fuels, the industrial facility is an uneasy reminder of the ways humans exploit the planet for our own whims.” Over time, COP has gone from an intimate gathering of policy wonks to a festival-esque trade show. In Dubai, more than 225 pavilions hosted star-studded events and musical performances while negotiations took place behind closed doors. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, given the international coverage that the gathering has garnered, as David Fickling has [argued](. But it’s probably best that attendees stay focused on phasing out fossil fuel subsidies, not taking viral selfies: COP28’s paramount achievement — 245 words signaling the beginning of the end of oil, gas and coal — is meaningful, but it won’t change our climate situation overnight. What change might COP29 bring? Well, judging by this Marc Champion [column](, it could involve a lot of sucking up to Azerbaijan’s president, Ilham Aliyev, who Marc says “has never been as politically secure as he is today,” thanks to Russian President Vladimir Putin’s misadventure in Ukraine. Despite Azerbaijan’s $35 billion oil and gas sectors, the ex-Soviet nation is set to hold the global summit on climate change next year. If this feels like [déjà vu]( to you, you’re not alone. “Obstacles to Azerbaijan’s bid fell away like phantoms in a mist,” Marc writes. By this time last week, only three Eastern European nations remained in the race. Armenia dropped out to exchange prisoners. Bulgaria, looking to benefit from Azerbaijan-Europe gas transit flows, quit soon after. Azerbaijan was simply the last man standing. While prisoner swaps and sweetheart deals for fossil fuels are by no means ideal methods for selecting a climate summit host, another successful COP offers our planet a greater chance of surviving. We’d better take it (with fewer selfies, one would hope). The Math Isn’t Mathing At the top of my Things I Did Not Expect to Happen Today list sits Elon Musk, who is apparently [planning]( to start a university in Austin, Texas. “The new institution, seeded with a roughly $100 million gift from Musk, will start with a STEM-focused primary and secondary school,” Bloomberg’s Sophie Alexander and Dana Hull report. All I can say is that I hope he isn’t actually gonna name it the [Texas Institute of Technology & Science](. He’d probably make more money off [sweatshirts and T-shirts]( than tuition. Also: Is $100 million enough to start a school out of thin air? The US spent $190 billion in federal relief on public schools since 2020 and students are still [failing](. Although Education Secretary Miguel Cardona says the funding “kept the United States in the game,” former New York City Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg — founder and majority owner of Bloomberg LP — [disagrees](. Last year, [student math scores]( were their lowest in two decades. The [gap]( between the US and other high-performing countries widened. Among OECD countries, the US ranked 26 out of 37 in math. “At the most basic level, US students need more classroom instruction to make up for pandemic learning loss. That should include high-dosage tutoring, longer school days and mandatory summer school for those furthest behind,” he writes. “Rather than demand that districts help students recover what they’ve lost, many cities and states are doing the opposite, by watering down requirements for [promoting]( kids to the next grade.” Misguided or not, Elon Musk’s academic daydreams clearly won’t make a dent in America’s dismal test scores. Only voters can save the country, by electing officials who actually care about the sea of students who are slipping behind. Bonus Elon Musk Reading: Tesla’s biggest-ever [electric vehicle recall]( is bad news for robocar rivals. — Liam Denning Telltale Charts At Fed Chair Jerome Powell’s press conference this afternoon, he was surprisingly quiet on the inflation front, despite core service inflation still sitting at roughly double its pre-pandemic level. Although our economic situation has greatly improved since the initial shock in prices in 2021, John Authers [argues]( the data still shouldn’t give central bankers much room to relax. Today I learned all about Vietnam’s “[bamboo diplomacy](” in Karishma Vaswani’s [column](. The term, which she says “takes its name from the [attributes]( of the bamboo plant: strong and durable, yet flexible and adaptable,” describes Hanoi’s experience in juggling competing geopolitical interests with ease. For over three decades, Vietnam has used economic incentives to gain political leverage — a strategy that has allowed it to be friends with countries that are often enemies with one another. Other countries would be wise to copy the template. Further Reading Supreme Court justices should throw out Trump’s [immunity claim]( — and quickly. — Noah Feldman China's economy is in better shape than pessimists believe. What's [holding it back]( is politics. — Minxin Pei A Chinese billionaire’s attempt at creating [an auto empire]( to rival Volkswagen hit a snag. — Chris Bryant You’re casting [Denzel Washington]( as Hannibal? Could you be more cringeworthy? — Bobby Ghosh The NCAA’s proposal to [allow schools]( to pay student-athletes directly is no act of altruism. — Adam Minter If Republicans [stop supporting Ukraine](, the betrayal will haunt the party and the world forever. — Andreas Kluth ICYMI The [AI news anchor]( of your nightmares. Oprah is on [weight-loss]( drugs. The three-year [cruise](is dead. Kickers The year in [culture](. The year in [drinks](. The year in [dishes](. The year in [Taylor Swift](. The year in [New York](. The (next) year in Nostradamus’ [predictions](. (h/t Christine Vanden Byllaardt) Notes: Please send year-end news and feedback to Jessica Karl at jkarl9@bloomberg.net. [Sign up here]( and follow us on [Threads](, [TikTok](, [Twitter](, [Instagram]( and [Facebook](. [1] As a reminder, all of our COP28 coverage is free for you to read, regardless of whether you have a Bloomberg subscription. Follow Us Like getting this newsletter? [Subscribe to Bloomberg.com]( for unlimited access to trusted, data-driven journalism and subscriber-only insights. Before it’s here, it’s on the Bloomberg Terminal. Find out more about how the Terminal delivers information and analysis that financial professionals can’t find anywhere else. [Learn more](. Want to sponsor this newsletter? [Get in touch here](. 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