When they’re locking up cookies, something’s seriously wrong

Plus: Nikki Haley, the NBA's In-Season Tournament and more. [Bloomberg]( This is Bloomberg Opinion Today, the most inexperienced husband of Bloomberg Opinion’s opinions. [Sign up here](. Today’s Agenda - [Shoplifting]( is a timeless vice. - [Nikki Haley]( plays too nice. - [The NBA]( rolled the dice. - [The Arctic]( is more than a slab of ice. Nobody Is Stealing the Lorna Doone’s The next time you go to your local Target or Walgreens, please go to the snack aisle and observe what they lock up and what they don’t. I did this the other day at my regular Duane Reade in Manhattan, and here is what I found: The entire selection of beef jerky is locked up, along with various bougie cookies, including Tate’s, Oreos (double-stuffed, of course), Chips Ahoy and Fudge Stripes. Outside of the case, on an adjacent shelf, is an island of unwanted cookies, including Lorna Doone’s, Fig Newtons, Pepperidge Farm cookies, Animal Crackers and Teddy Grahams: All of which raises the question: Who decides which snacks get put in protective custody and which are left vulnerable?? We may never know. But what’s clear is that this whole situation is an insult to every Lorna Doone in America. Of course, things could be worse — and they once actually were. “If everything eventually gets put away, we’ll all get a taste of how our grandparents used to shop,” Stephen Mihm [writes](. “Until the early 20th century, shopping was an introvert’s nightmare,” he explains. Whether you were shopping in a grocery store or a clothier, an army of clerks would be there to assist you. It’s not as though our ancestors were born with the gift of gab or anything like that. No, talking to people was [a necessity](. Until the late 19th century, the Great American Retail Landscape was somewhat of a mess, and not just because people were [feeding]( their babies Vaseline. There weren’t streamlined prices or rules. Food wasn’t packaged in sanitary, uniform boxes. “The price of everything was up for negotiation,” he says. Haggling was the way, until big department stores like Macy’s and Wanamaker’s began to offer mass-produced products that could be sold at a uniform price. But even then, the store associate would still do the actual shopping, grabbing whatever items patrons said they needed when they entered the store. Piggly Wiggly changed all that. Clarence Saunders, an American grocer, decided to plop a bunch of baskets at the front of the store and let people roam the aisles without assistance. In 1938, one reporter in Atlanta declared: “Even the most inexperienced husband can enter … and find what he wants without being hurried or harassed by clerks.” Of course, some of those inexperienced husbands opted not to consult the cashier on their way out: “The one downside of the new retail model was that some customers took the concept of self-service a bit literally, taking what they wanted without paying for it. Over the past 50 years, there have been periodic panics that shoplifting might somehow render the self-service shopping model obsolete,” Stephen writes. Although our Oreos might be behind bars, at least we don’t have to haggle for them. Bonus Retail Reading: - Shein’s growth has been stratospheric, and [Amazon knows it](. — Dave Lee - RIP, [fast and free shipping](. It was nice knowing you. — Leticia Miranda [Make it Nice](, But Not Too Nice A decade ago, Nikki Haley posted [this photo]( on her Instagram. The caption reads: “Our family had a wonderful Christmas together! I must have been good Santa gave me a Beretta PX4 Storm.” Christmas circa 2013. Source: Instagram Although [certain Roman Catholic nuns]( would prefer that Santa keep semi-automatic rifles out of our stockings this year, Stephen L. Carter [doubts]( they’ll get their wish. “Shareholders who can’t persuade the corporation to adopt their proposals shouldn’t be able to enlist the courts in their perhaps justifiable crusades. Even when the shareholders are nuns,” he writes. But back to Nikki Haley. The funny thing about her Instagram post is that she says “I must have been good” as though there were some doubt. This is a woman who’s been on the nice list her entire life. Like, she probably emerged from the womb and [said](, “It’s a great day in South Carolina!” Even her insults ooze with niceness. As Mary Ellen Klas [writes](, “She uses southern charm and a genteel ‘shame-on-you scold’ to counter critics,” not unlike the way “[bless your heart](” is an insult down South. But when are her gloves gonna come off? “We’re about five weeks away from the Iowa caucuses and she’s still being nice,” Mary Ellen notes. “Which begs the question: Is she just posturing for a slot as vice president or another presidential run in 2028?” If she doesn’t [start]( throwing punches soon, other candidates — including third-party ones — may steal the show. Then there’s former Republican Representative [Liz Cheney](, who is considering an independent bid. Robert F. Kennedy Jr.’s campaign is spending at least $10 million to get his name on the ballot in 10 states. And there’s Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, [a political wildcard]( who says he was asked to run for president by multiple political parties. “As long as President Joe Biden’s approval ratings remain below 40% and similarly unpopular Trump remains the Republican front-runner, the race will seem tempting to many,” Jonathan Bernstein [writes](. In Season Isn’t So Bad One of the things that brings us aging adults together is the fact that we’re allergic to change. You want me to use [gyat]( in a sentence? No thank you. You want me to dedicate precious brain cells to [Skibidi Toilet videos](? Not gonna happen. You want me to watch some made-up basketball prom called the [In-Season Tournament](? I’m not interested. But then one day, something curious happens. Your child tells you you’ve got a gyat. You read in a newsletter about toilets with human heads. You see LeBron James [hold]( the NBA Cup over his head with an excited look on his face. Eventually, we realize that these new things aren’t so bad. In fact, they can even be enjoyable. In previous years, the NBA’s regular season was pretty low stakes. In fact, there were times when it felt as though die-hard fans cared more about it than [the players did](. But the new tournament changed all that: In November, TV ratings went up by 26% and the NBA reportedly [set records]( for attendance and social media video views. “Those numbers will only help the NBA when it [negotiates its next broadcast]( rights deal that commences in 2025,” J.A. Adande [writes](. Although the $500,000-per-player prize for the tournament winners is nothing compared to the Lebron’s [$400 million]( playing salary, the four-time NBA champ and his teammates took the IST seriously. “And once the players bought in, the fans followed,” J.A. notes. Read [the whole thing](. Photo of the Day A Finnish Leopard 2 tank in Lapland, northern Finland. Photographer: Louie Palu/Agence VU The world has long seen the Arctic as an empty canvas. Consider Santa’s [elaborate backstory](: A jolly old man living in a remote, frozen tundra, happily married to the love of his love life, subsidized by a small army of unpaid, pointy-eared humanoids that make toys in a workshop which will eventually get loaded onto a magical, reindeer-powered whip? It’s an excessive, if not [unrealistic](, tale. But the real North Pole is nothing like the place where [Buddy the Elf]( grew up. In place of Santa’s elves are [roughnecks]( and Canada Goose-clad [fishermen](. The sleigh is just a Finnish Leopard 2 tank. And there’s not a cookie in sight, unless [an Arctic solder]( were to find one in their Cold Weather Ration. How do we know all of this? Well, columnist Liam Denning and photographer Louie Palu went on an [epic Arctic adventure]( to find out how climate change and geopolitics and smoked salmon are turning the High North’s once-uncharted spaces into a contested strategic landscape. Spoiler alert: Sadly, they did not find Saint Nick. You can check out all the photos [here]( and read the full series [here](. Telltale Charts It’s a well-known fact that [most US cities]( do not have enough room for all the people who want to live in them. And even if they did have enough room, it’s like a gajillion dollars for a shoebox apartment that at best could be described as “coffin chic.” Now, a lot of people see the lack of affordable housing in this country and start wagging their finger, saying, “well, the ZONING LAWS ARE JUST EVIL!!!!!” in exasperation. But ending single-family zoning — while an admirable goal — is not gonna solve the shortage alone: “Replacing a single-family home with an equal-sized fourplex doesn’t generate very much actual housing,” Matthew Yglesias [writes](. “Instead of four roommates sharing a house, they might each have a one-bedroom unit in a fourplex.” To actually increase the housing supply, we’ll need to combine multiple policy initiatives. “The opportunities for reform are almost limitless,” he says. Now that the US federal budget deficit is giving off major main-character energy, Justin Fox [says]( we ought to check in on our tax revenue statistics to see if they might help close the gap. “By the standards of the developed world, the US is a low-tax country,” he writes. But that’s not the only anomaly in [the OECD’s annual revenue statistics report](. US tax revenue is also more volatile than the OECD average. About 40% of federal income tax revenue comes from those in the top 1% of the income distribution, which leads to higher fluctuations. “The rest of the OECD relies less on income taxes and much more on consumption taxes, aka taxes on goods and services, which generate a steadier flow of revenue,” Justin explains. If the US were to tax consumption at a higher weight, government finances would be much improved. Further Reading Free read: COP28 is turning into [a trade show](. And that’s not a bad thing. — David Fickling [“Buy American” rules]( will alienate allies and endanger troops. — Bloomberg’s editorial board It’s not just Ukraine and Gaza: War is on the rise [everywhere](. — Max Hastings Is Britain ready to be honest about its economic decline? — Matthew Brooker Thanks to [a TikTok glow-up](, Prabowo went from general to grandpa. — Karishma Vaswani Finding [the new RSV shot]( shouldn’t be a goose chase for parents. — Lisa Jarvis [Index funds]( don’t always guarantee a job well done on investing. — Merryn Somerset Webb Government secrecy [about UFOs]( isn’t always a terrible thing. — Tyler Cowen Japanese Prime Minister [Fumio Kishida]( is in trouble. — Gearoid Reidy Don’t Miss Tomorrow is CPI Day! Will more disinflation support growing market expectations of Fed rate cuts next year? Join Jonathan Levin, Karl Smith and Allison Schrager as they break down the latest inflation data live [on YouTube](. ICYMI Elon Musk [reactivated]( Alex Jones on X. Golden Globes [nominations]( are out. The Air Force [is disciplining]( 15 people for Discord leaks. Showtime [is marrying]( Paramount Plus. Inside the chaotic [struggle for power]( at Penn. Ziwe did the [sit-down interview]( with George Santos. Kickers Inside the world of [birth tourism](. A “[reindeer cyclone](” puts the weak in the middle. Drug lords in Tijuana went on [a killing spree](. Astronauts found [a missing tomato]( in space. Hotel workers found an [$800K ring]( in a vacuum. (h/t Andrea Felsted) Notes: Please send one tiny tomato and feedback to Jessica Karl at jkarl9@bloomberg.net. [Sign up here]( and follow us on [Threads](, [TikTok](, [Twitter](, [Instagram]( and [Facebook](. Follow Us Like getting this newsletter? [Subscribe to Bloomberg.com]( for unlimited access to trusted, data-driven journalism and subscriber-only insights. 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