Dogecoin is riding high on the crypto coaster

Plus: Spotify, the Panama Canal and more. [Bloomberg]( This is Bloomberg Opinion Today, the answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe and Bloomberg Opinion’s opinions. [Sign up here](. Today’s Agenda - [Bitcoin’s hype]( is catalogued. - [Spotify]( is looking bogged. - [Panama]( is super clogged. - [Bankruptcies]( have Wall Street fogged. HBD, Dogecoin Source: @ Mishaboar via X Unless you’re a member of the [laser-eyed](, [Luna-tattooed]( crypto crowd, you’d be forgiven for not knowing that it’s Dogecoin’s 10th [birthday]( today. Do we really need to celebrate a fictional, illiterate Shiba Inu? Ehhhh. But hey, I’m not here to make enemies with an ancient Japanese dog breed. So if you’re reading this, [Doge](, here’s your card: I imagine this isn’t the only birthday greeting Doge received this year. Tyler Winklevoss — who’s currently buzzing with glee amid crypto’s biggest [comeback]( in over a year — probably sent one, too. “Bitcoin at 42k is the answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe and everything,” he [posted]( on X yesterday. But Lionel Laurent isn’t so sure that Satoshi Nakamoto’s digital coin is the key to salvation: “At the risk of sounding like the Simpsons’ ‘Old Man Yells At Cloud,’ there are plenty of reasons to be cautious about this umpteenth upward swing on the crypto rollercoaster ride at a time of economic slowdown and possible recession,” he [writes]( (free read). In a hearing with fellow bank CEOs on Capitol Hill today, JPMorgan Chase’s Jamie Dimon [said]( “the only true use-case for crypto” involves criminals, drug traffickers, money launderers and tax avoiders. “If I was the government, I'd close it down,” he added. Regardless of where you land on the spectrum of Bitcoin is Evil <--------> Bitcoin is Life, there’s no arguing that the cryptocurrency has a well-established pricing pattern. Since 2017, there’s been a clear correlation between money supply growth and crypto assets, with virtual money “performing well” in times of expansionary monetary policy. But “if easy money is Bitcoin’s secret sauce, there doesn’t seem to be much of it around,” Lionel says. The Fed’s balance sheet peaked last year and has fallen by over $1 trillion since then. We may be about to enter an environment where dollars, not Dogecoins, are king. “Bitcoin may be a glorified pet rock in terms of money-ness, but people like to hoard it and trade it as a risky hybrid of gold and NASDAQ startup in the hope of outsized gains,” Lionel notes. But the gains of other speculative assets that boomed during the pandemic, from NFTs to second-hand [luxury watches](, have been squashed in recent months. Is the Rolex Recession a harbinger of bad crypto times to come? Birthday parties don’t always [end in tears](, but Dogecoin’s just might. Spotify’s Skill Issue Whenever the stove burner won’t turn on or the carbon monoxide detector won’t shut up, there’s always a little voice in your mind that asks: Is this user error or is there something actually messed up with my [insert appliance of choice]? Nine times out of ten, it’s a skill issue; either you’re not pressing the knob properly or you put the batteries in the wrong way. Rarely is the appliance truly broken. The same can be said about podcasts. When people saw this week that Spotify was [slimming down]( its workforce by nearly 20% and slashing two award-winning shows from its podcasting division, which already [cut back on spending]( earlier this year, they naturally wondered: Is this Spotify’s issue or is something actually messed up with the podcasting industry? Dave Lee [is relieved to say]( that it’s the former, not the latter. More than 30% of Americans 12 and older now listen to a podcast at least once a week — a figure that will likely grow in 2024, if ad revenue projections are any indication: Clearly, the latest round of job cuts “is a Spotify problem, not a podcast one,” Dave says. While people are right to worry about the financial health of the music streaming service, “this should not be considered a litmus test for the health of the podcast industry more broadly.” Through the first nine months of 2023, Spotify racked up nearly $500 million in losses, more than double from the year prior. “While tech companies used to get free rein to plow huge amounts into revenue growth, Wall Street investors are now pushing them to drive harder for profitable growth. And so Spotify CEO Daniel Ek felt he had no choice but to take a hacksaw to the business he co-founded 17 years ago,” Dave explains. I suppose that’s fine, but there’s no need to take a hacksaw to the entire universe of podcasts — or your home appliances, for that matter. Bonus Big Tech Reading: Elon Musk [may]( or [may not]( be raising money for his research lab, xAI. Despite his noble intentions to compete with OpenAI, the Tesla CEO has tied himself up in knots with this endeavor, Parmy Olson [argues](. Telltale Charts Remember how you used to be able to buy a FastPass at Disney World to jump the line and avoid melting in hundred-degree temperatures? Well, way over in the Panama Canal, they’re basically doing the same thing: The 40-mile trade artery has gotten so dry and backed up after a record-breaking drought that shippers are [paying up to $4 million]( to hop the line. The transportation bottleneck couldn’t have arrived at a worse time, Tim Culpan [writes](: December is crunch time “as consumer goods get shipped for Christmas and energy gets transported to meet winter needs.” This might be the first time climate change could ruin your kids’ Christmas, but it probably won’t be the last. Corporations, they’re just [like us](! And by us, I mean the young versions of ourselves that subsisted on ramen noodles and Natty Ice way back in the glory days: “Companies [are going broke]( gradually, not suddenly,” John Authers writes, pointing to a spate of “quiet bankruptcies” that are currently roiling Wall Street. Public companies that look strong and healthy are becoming more and more of an anomaly. John says the “post-Volcker” era of low interest rates, which enabled businesses to take more risks with their finances, is no longer working in their favor. Further Reading Free read: The Supreme Court [won’t save a criminal]( defendant facing 91 counts, even if that defendant is Donald Trump. — Francis Wilkinson Russia’s been [circumventing sanctions]( and selling oil with way too much ease. — Bloomberg’s editorial board The Philippines is battling a resurgence of [Islamic State-led terrorists](. — Karishma Vaswani Make bonds boring again! It’d be better [that way](, really. — Jonathan Levin Ukraine [has to fight on]( because Putin believes Russia can win. — Marc Champion Lloyd Austin and other American leaders are right to ask Israel [the big question](. — Andreas Kluth Internal divisions in Europe are [rendering the continent irrelevant]( as a geopolitical player. — Pankaj Mishra Constitutional or not, [wealth taxes]( are bad news for the economy. — Allison Schrager ICYMI A violent [killing spree]( in Central Texas. The passing of TV legend [Norman Lear](. Time’s [Person of the Year]( brought [a cat]( and a [snack]( to set. Google’s [new AI launch](, Gemini 1.0. Elizabeth Warren’s war on [Big Sandwich](. Kickers I’m sorry sir, you can’t park [there](. This [doomsday club]( has 575 bunkers available. A stray dog got its head [stuck in a jug]( for a month. A telescope dropped [dark matter data]( from the edge of space. Hugh Grant [hated]( playing an Oompa Loompa so much. Notes: Please send a backup plan for mankind to survive and feedback to Jessica Karl at jkarl9@bloomberg.net. [Sign up here]( and follow us on [Threads](, [TikTok](, [Twitter](, [Instagram]( and [Facebook](. Follow Us Like getting this newsletter? [Subscribe to Bloomberg.com]( for unlimited access to trusted, data-driven journalism and subscriber-only insights. Before it’s here, it’s on the Bloomberg Terminal. Find out more about how the Terminal delivers information and analysis that financial professionals can’t find anywhere else. [Learn more](. Want to sponsor this newsletter? [Get in touch here](. You received this message because you are subscribed to Bloomberg's Opinion Today newsletter. If a friend forwarded you this message, [sign up here]( to get it in your inbox. [Unsubscribe]( [Bloomberg.com]( [Contact Us]( Bloomberg L.P. 731 Lexington Avenue, New York, NY 10022 [Ads Powered By Liveintent]( [Ad Choices](